My Destiny-Not in the Hands of Men

Prompt: Center your story around a character who successfully — or unsuccessfully — escapes their fate.

My Destiny-Not in the Hands of Men

“Run! Run,” I screamed. There was no way out in any direction I could choose.  If I turned right there was a twelve-foot, solid brick wall. If I turned left there was a fence of impenetrable barbed wire.  Going straight ahead I would fall into a deep ravine filled with sharp rocks and huge, thorny bushes. A body already laid lifeless impaled on the rocks.  Heading back only meant I would still be captive in this infernal quagmire of pain and hopelessness. 

“Oh, my God what must I do? My God rescue me from the power of the wicked, from the clutches of cruel oppressors.” ⁽¹⁾  I cried losing my self-control. The trauma of my attempted escape caused me to collapse in fatigue and utter despair. I heard a callous voice say, “Take him to the infirmary; sedate him and secure his wrists and legs. This must not happen again.” Like a rag doll, my body was carelessly tossed onto a gurney. I felt the imperfections of the floor as the wooden wheels bumped over the cracks and shattered pieces of tile. 

The gurney stopped. I was lifted again and tossed onto a metal table as though I was a sack of potatoes.  There was no cushion. Quickly my wrists and legs were restrained. Then a hand pinched my nose and several pills were forced down my throat. I gagged nearly choking, but the disembodied hand let go of my nose. I swallowed while gasping for air. 

For several hours I was catatonic.  My mind was filled with a panorama of pastels followed with vivid flashing lights. Later I began to see dark clouds and haunting images of malevolent faces with sardonic grins.  My body twitched as anxious thoughts darted in and out of my brain. My breathing was rapid and irregular. I tried slowing it down by taking in slow and deep breaths. That effort enabled me to relax. I was more lucid in my thoughts. I refocused on my attempt to escape my situation. “My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!” ⁽²⁾

I knew at some point my restraints would have to be temporarily removed so I could use the toilet and later to bathe.  I was in dire need of relieving myself and very close to my bursting point. I yelled for assistance and protested, but no one heard me or they probably refused to come to my aid.  “Oh, the misery and shame of it. Why must I suffer the humiliation of this?” I blurted out.  “How quickly I would escape, far from this wild storm of hatred.” ⁽³⁾  Still, no one came. My anxiety took over and again I lost consciousness.

I awoke to the putrid smell of my own excrement and urine. The odors must have permeated throughout the hallway. I cried again, “Oh my Lord where are You?” A dark figure made its way to me with a water hose. I was pelted with a rush of frigid water that left me soaking wet and shivering. The ordeal left me depleted of energy and I passed out.

I had no idea how long I had been unconscious. I heard a familiar voice.  It was the callous voice of the one who ordered me sedated and restrained. “Doctor Mengele, both of your patients attempted to escape. One of the twins, however, jumped into the ravine and is now dead. The other, as you can see, has been subdued and readied for your experiment.”

A second voice responded, “You imbecile, he will no longer be of use for my experiment. I needed both twins for my study.”

My head blazed with this fiery thought, “They rush to commit evil deeds. They hurry to commit murder.” ⁽⁴⁾

Sheepishly, the other voice said, “Should I send him to the chambers for extermination?”

Mengele arrogantly said, “This is a good specimen for a Jew. He resists unlike so many of his kind. He is young and strong. Send him back to the barracks, but make sure he is placed on hard labor. If he continues to resist, he will die in his labors. There is one small experiment I will conduct on him before I release him into your custody.”

“And what is that, Doctor?”

“I want to sterilize him without anesthesia.”

In my agony, I remember these holy words, “I hear a cry, like that of a woman in labor, the groans of a woman giving birth to her first child. It is beautiful Jerusalem gasping for breath and crying out, “Help! I am being murdered!” ⁽⁵⁾

“They kill widows and foreigners and murder orphans.” ⁽⁶⁾

For weeks I struggled with the pain while I worked in the gravel pits. My body felt broken by the rocks I was ordered to break. Survival was paramount, but my obsession was finding a way to flee from this living nightmare of brutality, torture, and death. I remembered “Don’t let them get away with their wickedness; in your anger, O God, bring them down.” ⁽⁷⁾

I ached but my anger burned deeply inside my heart. I looked for an opportunity to flee again. This time I vowed I would not be caught.  My faith in God had strengthened over the months because of the struggles I endured. I knew that either in life or death I would not be forsaken by my God.

And then I realized, “Because you trusted me, I will give you your life as a reward. I will rescue you and keep you safe. I, the Lord, have spoken.” ⁽⁸⁾

During my work time in the gravel pit, I sought out two other Jewish prisoners who appeared to be able bodied and shared the same urgency and risk as I had to flee this camp. We were determined to have a plan. Together we broke into a camp storehouse stealing two SS uniforms, rifles, and a staff car. Two of us posed as SS officers pretending to remove a prisoner from the camp under the orders of the SS leader Heinrich Himmler. Once we passed the gate without interrogation, the three of us breathed a collective sigh of relief, but we knew we had a long road ahead of us to escape the Nazi oppression. Unfortunately the memories will never escape me. They forever will linger and burn deep into my soul.

As we drove away, I looked into the mirror to see the quote above the iron gate “Arbeit Macht Frei” (work makes one free) disappearing from my sight. I worked at securing my freedom. More importantly, however, I worked at putting my trust in God Almighty.

“Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign Lord rescues us from death.” ⁽⁹⁾

And I am reminded about these words, “Get out! Get out and leave your captivity, where everything you touch is unclean. Get out of there and purify yourselves, you who carry home the sacred objects of the Lord. You will not leave in a hurry, running for your lives. For the Lord will go ahead of you; yes, the God of Israel will protect you from behind.”

-END-

1.   (Psalm 71:4)

2.   (Psalm 121:1)

3.   (Psalm 55:8)

4.   (Proverbs 1:16)

5.   (Jeremiah 4:31)

6.   (Psalm 94:6)

7.   (Psalm 56:7)

8.   (Jeremiah 39:18)

9.   (Psalm 68:20)

10.(Isaiah 52:11-12)

Verses from New Living Translation Bible

Author: Pete Gautchier

Acknowledgement: Reedsy.com prompts