Reflections

[Reader warning: Brief indirect mention of abortion]

"Mommy, tell me a story," Georgia says.

"Alright, Dove, what would you like to hear?"

"Tell me about him again."

"I always tell you about your father."

"I never hear enough about him though, Mama,"

"Okay,"

I pulled Georgia in for our nightly snuggles. It was our thing. Everyday, we talk about our day. Her day at school, her friends and classroom frolics. She asks me about the latest adventures I have with my stories. She's the reason I write children's stories now instead of the intense dark stories I used to write. He was the reason I wrote those in the first place. His dark hair and golden eyes captivated me in a way that no other man every could. Maybe, in another life, we'd be together. Unfortunately, he chose to be the kind of man to run off when things got difficult. I chose to stick out the hard times. "Mother's Baby, Father's maybe," was all I ever heard with Angel. Angel Martinez. He hustled to get money for everything from drugs to clothes to food. Think he'd think of his daughter? Not likely. Instead, Georgia Martinez, my six year old girl, remains the apple of my eye.

"Who did you write about today, Mommy?"

"I picked George and the birdies."

"I can't wait to read it!"

"I can't let you read it until I send the book to Lori, you know that."

Lori Kissinger's my editor. She keeps me grounded and focused on not only my tasks at hand, but Georgia. Georgia's age range is my target audience.

"Mommy, Devon's daddy wants to bring Devon over for play time, should I tell Devon yes?"

Devon Michaels is Georgia's best friend. He's a good kid, in my opinion, but he's seven. I don't necessarily like my daughter with older boys. Devon's dad, Kane, is incredibly handsome. Kane sees me at my worst in the pickup line at school. I just throw my hair in a ponytail, wear yoga pants and whatever blaringly obvious shirt I have on at the time. This afternoon it was a "GOD Mode" shirt for a wrestler I'd researched. Georgia and I make it a point to watch wrestling. I tell her that nothing should stop her from pursuing a goal, not even being a girl.

"Mommy, does that mean if I wanna beat up someone I can?"

"No, never hurt someone just because you can. Only stand up for someone weaker than you. That's the only good reason to take on a bully."

"Okay, Mommy. I love you."

"I love you too, Gia."

My grandmother's name was Georgia, that's how Gia got her name. I wanted a piece of my family's legacy to carry on through me. Surprise threw me when I heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Georgia said.

"Georgia Roe, What have I told you about answering the door?"

"Only you answer the door."

"Why?"

"It's because something scary could be behind it."

"And?"

"You don't want me hurted."

"Good."

She sat down and I answered the door. There a dark haired man with blue eyes stood with a small boy.

"DEVON!" Georgia exclaimed.

"GIA!" He exclaimed in return.

"I am so sorry to do this to you, but Devon told me that Georgia was upset earlier today and he wanted to make sure she was okay."

"Georgia, what made you upset, Baby?"

"It's okay, Mommy. It's nothing you can fix. Wanna play, Dev?"

"Yeah!"

I looked perplexed.

"Could I sit down? I can fill you in, if you want."

"Please. It's not like her to keep secrets from me."

"This one I can explain. She's probably hesitant because of what it was at school today."

"What was it?"

"Bring your Daddy to School day."

My heart sank.

"She didn't tell me."

"She explained it to Dev. Dev talked to me and asked if I could help. I kinda stood in for Georgia's dad."

"That was sweet of you."

"Some kids made fun of her and Devon wasn't happy."

"I bet he wasn't."

"He got into a fight with a boy who called Gia some names. I was called to the school.."

I cringed and looked at Kane. He smiled.

"It's all good now. Devon knows not to fight. His first instinct was to come here and check on Gia."

Kane looked at the two kids playing. I couldn't help but look at them as well. Kane then looked me in the eyes.

"Where is her father, Marie?"

I sighed heavily.

"Angel? Well, he's quite the stand up guy. He's off defending the country from terrorists." I said laughing awkwardly.

Kane saw through it.

"Really?"

"No. Angel Martinez, the minute I said I was pregnant ran off alright. After I vehemently defied him. I told him there was no way I'd ever 'Get rid of' a baby. Enraged, he walked out of this house and never returned. Georgia asks about him, but I never know what to tell her. Part of me wants to tell her about him but the maternal part of me that worries about her all the time avoids the subject in depth because I know it'll hurt. The last thing I want,"

I look over at Gia.

"Is for my baby girl to hurt."

Kane smiled.

"That's the last thing any parent wants."

"Thank you for playing Papa for her today."

"She's easy to please, really. She doesn't ask for much. I bet she gets that from you,"

"She gets that because of me. I never really have much to give but I give her the time I have. I give her what little money I have, I give her affection, attention and she's the reason I haven't gone crazy. She's my world. She just doesn't know it."

That's when I felt Kane grab my hand.

"One day, Marie, I'm taking the two of you to the movies or something. Think of it as a double friend date or something."

"A friend date, huh? I'm not sure my daughter's old enough for that."

We both laughed.

"Think of it as a start to a wonderful family then."

"I'll do that."

Kane kissed my cheek. It was the first time in a long time I felt like something other than a mom.

Maybe, In another life, I will be something other than a mom.