Forever Eden

Tom Fraser secured his machine gun under his arm as he approached the woman with caution. His helmet hung from his back and he was dressed in khaki combat fatigues. Standing in front of him was a nun dressed in a long, white dress and veil. A silver cross hung around her neck. She carried a small bag.

    The main thing Tom knew he had to do was check her identification at this checkpoint in Same, Timor-Leste. ‘Ita-nia naran sa?’ he asked.

    ‘Hau-nia naran Madre Marcelina Mendez,’ she replied handing him her identification.

    Not long ago Same was the scene of a gun battle between Australian troops and East Timorese rebels. One couldn’t take any chances on confirming who was friend or foe in these circumstances. Even if the person was a nun with dark eyes, coffee coloured skin and black hair half hidden underneath her habit. At six feet two Tom towered above the young nun.

    Once Tom was satisfied she posed no danger or threat he allowed her to pass through the checkpoint as he continued on with his patrol of the area. It was certainly no surprise seeing a nun walk the streets in a country where Catholicism was the major religion. At a guess he thought she must be in her early twenties like him. He was fresh out of university having majored in Indonesian and Portuguese before joining the Australian army and being sent to Timor-Leste to ensure its independence since becoming an independent democracy on the twentieth of May 2002 and was admitted as the ninety-first member of the United Nations.

* * *

    The next day found Tom on patrol where he came across Sister Marcelina once again. He gasped when he saw her. She was lying face down on the ground and was barely moving. At first he thought the worst until he could see her breathing slightly. He helped her up and made sure she was steady on her feet before he let go. She had cuts on her face, hands and knees.

    ‘What happened?’ he asked.

    ‘East Timorese rebels tried to attack me and I fell.’

    ‘Is your convent far from here?’

    ‘Not far. I will be all right.’

    Tom shook his head. ‘No,’ he insisted. ‘I will escort you back.’

    ‘All right,’ Sister Marcelina said.

    They walked in silence for several minutes and it was Sister Marcelina who finally broke the silence.

    ‘Thank you for your presence. You being here in Timor-Leste brings peace and security. We are really grateful. Children, when they are afraid will find a soldier and walk with him like I am doing now.’

    ‘De nada, Madre,’ Tom said.

    Sister Marcelina continued on. ‘We have a saying here that God is bigger than us. Bigger than we can imagine. He knows what we’re suffering – the bullets, the fires…’

    They continued on walking and chatting until they came to a large, white building in the middle of a clearing with a backdrop of curvaceous mountains. Surrounding it was thick bush and banana and orange trees. Nearby was a coffee plantation. Sister Marcelina led the way through the wooden door. She reported to the Mother Superior and with Tom standing in the background explained what had happened. Mother Superior was an elderly woman with a lined face and the same colour skin as Sister Marcelina. She hugged her junior before walking over to Tom and shaking his hand as he introduced himself.

    ‘Thank you so much for taking care of Sister Marcelina and bringing her home. Please join us for dinner. It is the least we can do to repay you.’

    ‘No need to repay me. I was just doing my job Reverend Mother,’ Tom said.

    ‘I insist,’ Mother Superior said firmly. ‘“Whatever your hands finds to do, do it with your might.”’

    Tom laughed. ‘“For God will bring every work into judgment,”’ he countered easily.

    After Sister Marcelina was cleaned up Tom joined the sisters for an evening of eating pizza and was quite taken with their hospitality. As was common in Timor-Leste they practiced what was called “open table” hospitality. They may have had very little, but it simply wouldn’t occur to them to keep it to themselves and not share their meagre possessions.

    Reluctantly, Tom finally made tracks to leave. Before he left Sister Marcelina gave him a purple stole with intricate woven geometric multi-coloured designs on it. ‘This selendang a is form of taisa, a traditional scarf,’ she said. ‘We use it to show our gratitude and thanks.’

    ‘Obrigadu barak,’ he said softly as she put it around his neck. ‘I will treasure it always.’

    With that, he shook her hand before walking out and heading back to his patrol.

* * *

    Two days later during his time off Tom went to check on Sister Marcelina at the convent. As he walked through the villages surrounded by exotic palm trees he thought about her particular calling. He’d organised sixty bags of rice for the sisters. When he got there he was greeted by the sisters who informed him the bags of rice had all been given away. Tom couldn’t be a nun. They gave away all their food and then had none. Sister Marcelina told him the children were satisfied knowing they were free from oppression and they were safe.

    Tom watched Sister Marcelina put clothing through the wringer.

    ‘I am a nun but I wouldn’t call myself religious,’ she told him.

    ‘But you give so much,’ he said as he watched her work the old machine.

    ‘You cannot out-give God,’ she replied.

    ‘I find that in order for me to show thanks to God, I need to give to others in need. But your people don’t complain about what they don’t have,’ Tom said.

    Sister Marcelina pursed her lips and looked at Tom through lowered lids. ‘Why don’t you come with us?’

    Tom raised an eyebrow. ‘Come where?’

    ‘To the service for some sisters who are making their final vows.’

    ‘I’ll have to see if I can get some time off. When is it?’

    ‘Next Wednesday. We’re taking two vans to Laga, which is in the Baucau District. Do you think you will be able to attend?’

    ‘Hopefully I’ll be able to,’ Tom said.

    ‘Good,’ Sister Marcelina said with a woman’s smile of promise as he said goodbye and left.

* * *

    The following Wednesday in the company of several of the local sisters in two vans, Tom travelled to Laga, where two East Timorese nuns were making their final vows and becoming nuns. They drove around the winding hills with little huts, shrubs and palms dotting the countryside. Tom wiped the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief as he looked out the window. The sisters laughed and sang hymns until they finally made their destination.

    After the ceremony Tom helped Sister Marcelina clean up in the kitchen. ‘You have little yet you always seem to be giving things away,’ he remarked. ‘It just doesn’t seem fair that we have so much in Australia while you so have little here.’

    Sister Marcelina put down a cup and tea towel. ‘Well, I believe with better choices you can create a better future.’

   ‘You’ve got lovely, dark eyes – full of understanding,’ he said.

    ‘Corporal Fraser…’

    ‘Well, it’s true.’

    ‘I don’t know what to say.’

    ‘Just say “thank you.” It’s a compliment and I give compliments when compliments are due.’

    ‘Well, obrigada,’ she said again.

    ‘I’m sure everyone in the local community really appreciate everything you and the other sisters do.’

    Sister Marcelina picked up the tea towel and started to dry a plate. ‘Obrigada,’ was all she said.

* * *

    Later she showed him the grotto out in the back garden full of white gum trees and diuris flowers. They strolled through the garden under the shady trees with the rolling hills in the background. Suddenly, Tom grabbed Sister Marcelina’s hand and led her to a tree. Sister Marcelina leaned against it and looked up at him with wide eyes. Tom moved close to her.

    ‘Corporal Fraser…’

    ‘Sister Marcelina…’ Tom said as he ran a finger around the edge of her face.

    ‘You don’t know me.’

    ‘No. But I want to.’

    ‘You don’t know what you’re doing.’

    ‘Yes, I do,’ Tom insisted. ‘I know what I am doing and I know that what I feel isn’t some schoolboy crush. What I feel for you is very real. I’m in love with you. Don’t you feel a little something for me?’

    ‘This is a tricky situation. I’m a bride of Christ. I took vows. I can’t just turn my back on the church.’

    ‘You can’t deny your feelings either,’ Tom said. ‘Doesn’t Christ preach love? “Love your neighbour?” Isn’t there a whole book devoted to love in the Old Testament?’

    Sister Marcelina’s eyes lit up. ‘You mean the Song of Songs? A fine example of the love between Christ and the church.’

    Tom grinned. ‘Or just an example of ancient, Middle Eastern love poetry don’t you think?

    ‘Are you truly falling in love with me, Corporal Fraser?’

    ‘Does this answer your question?’ he looked at her for a moment before he cupped her chin with his fingers and kissed her slowly and tenderly on the lips.

    Sister Marcelina broke away. ‘Someone is coming!’ she whispered.

    ‘There you are! We were wondering where you’d got to!’ cried a fellow nun.

* * *

    Tom crouched in the undergrowth and waited. He shouldered his machine gun and wiped the sweat from his brow. Surrounding him were men in the same khaki greens as they were about to close in on a school that was about to be ambushed by the militia. The sun streamed down through the thick forest as the birds’ call and response rang out – the only sound in the dense jungle.

    Tom and his comrades waited for the signal of their superior before they grabbed their weapons and ran towards the hut, which acted as a remote school.

    Shots were fired as the soldiers entered the building where the militia had already infiltrated it and were taking the students and their one teacher hostage. One of the rebels had a gun pointing at the young teacher’s head. Her eyes were wide open in fear and her lips were trembling as the rebel readied the trigger.

    Tom aimed his rifle at the rebel but before he had the chance to fire he was shot in the arm causing him to fall to the ground. He groaned in agony. The children screamed and huddled together as their teacher tried to comfort them with reassuring words.

    The last thing Tom remembered was being struck in the head from behind.

* * *

    He awoke hours later in a dark room. He looked to his left and saw a saucepan boiling over a low fire. He then turned in the other direction when he heard a strange sound. Sitting perched up on a table was a brown and white monkey with soulful eyes and a curious, little face.

    Tom fell back onto the bed and closed his eyes. He must be dreaming!

    Then an even greater vision appeared. When he opened his eyes once again Sister Marcelina stood by his bedside looking down at him. She appeared even lovelier, almost glowing, a divine creature not made for this world. Her dark eyes dominated her face and he saw compassion in them. She leant over his bed before reaching out and mopping his brow with a damp cloth.

    ‘Sister?’ Tom managed to croak.

    ‘I’m here.’

    ‘Don’t – don’t leave me.’

    ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

    ‘Am I dreaming?’

    Sister Marcelina smiled. ‘No, Corporal Fraser, you’re not dreaming.’

    ‘Please… call me Tom.’

    ‘I don’t know if that’s a good idea.’

    ‘What happened? Where am I? How did I get here?’

    Sister Marcelina put a finger to his lips before she walked over to the saucepan and took off the lid. She spooned a paste-like substance into a bowl and returned to his bedside. She sat down and tore off the bandage covering his wound before applying the paste. Tom winced as the hot paste seeped into his flesh. But the nun spoke to him reassuringly telling him it was only a superficial wound and not to worry. Once she’d finished she knelt by his bed and started to pray for him.

    Tom reached out and tenderly touched her head that was bent in prayer. ‘Don’t leave me,’ he said.

    Sister Marcelina shook her head. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

    ‘That’s not what I meant.’

    ‘Corporal Fraser… Tom… you know the situation…’

    Tom ignored her comment. He turned and stared up at the ceiling. It was mottled with dirt and grime. ‘How did I get here anyway?’ he asked.

    ‘FALINTIL came to your rescue and brought you here while your men escaped after fighting the militia.’

    Tom looked at the inquisitive, little creature sitting on a chair and nibbling on fruit. ‘What’s with the monkey?’ he asked with a grin.

    ‘We rescued him from East Timorese rebels who had him chained up. He lives with us now and is our pet. Now rest while I heat up some soup,’ she said.

    Tom watched as she went about the task of heating up a saucepan of broth. Once it was warmed, she brought it over to his bedside and began to feed him slowly as the liquid cooled.

    ‘Sister…’ he began.

    ‘Shh… just have the soup. You need to get your strength back.’

    ‘Sister, we need to have this out. I need to tell you what’s on my mind.’

    Sister Marcelina sat back and placed the bowl on the bedside table. ‘Speak then. I’ll listen.’

    ‘Sister, my tour of duty will end soon and I will go back to Australia. I want you to come back with me – as my wife.’

    ‘Tom, you know that I can’t.’

    ‘Don’t you feel the same way?’

    ‘You know I do but I am a bride of Christ. My life is here in Timor-Leste helping the people including FALINTIL where I can. We have a long battle in front of us.’

    Tom’s face was twisted whether from the pain he felt or from his frustration, he wasn’t sure. But one thing was for sure he wanted to make the good nun his bride!

    ‘I could take you away from all this,’ he insisted. ‘I could give you a better life.’

    Sister Marcelina lowered her gaze as she spoke. ‘My life is here helping others. I am needed. I made a vow to God, which I don’t intend on breaking.’

    Tom reached out and touched her hands, which were placed demurely in her lap. ‘Come back with me… I promise you that you won’t regret it.’

    Sister Marcelina shook her head. ‘I’m sorry Tom but I cannot leave the sisterhood of holy nuns. The community is everything. So you must be reasonable.’

    Tom sat up. ‘I’ve loved you ever since we first met at the checkpoint! What could be more reasonable than that?’

    Sister Marcelina loosened her hands from his grasp. ‘I wanted to save you this. I thought you’d understand the situation - ` she began.

    ‘My love for you has driven me out of my wits! I think about you every moment of the day and dream of you at night.’

    The monkey was busily scratching and chattering away to itself as Sister Marcelina kept her gaze affixed to the floor.

    She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry Tom… please don’t ask me…’

    ‘Do you really, truly want to stay here Sister?’

    ‘Really, truly, Tom. I’m sorry.’

    Tom lay back and stared up at the dirty ceiling once again. Then another nun entered the room and told them some of his fellow men were at the door waiting to take him back to his barracks. Sister Marcelina helped the young soldier get up and put his shirt back on. He looked up at the ceiling above once more, then with one long, lingering look behind bid his sister farewell.

    ‘Adeus,’ she replied with tears in her eyes.

* * *

    Several months later found Tom at the port of Dili shouldering his knapsack about to board a ship bound for Australia. The sun was setting with a burst of orange, purple and pink haze in the sky. He hesitated before he stepped on board as if waiting for something or someone to appear. No. I must not hope for it now, he said to himself.

    Then suddenly he heard someone call his name. He turned around and saw Sister Marcelina running towards him, her veil flapping violently in the wind. Tom smiled. One hand was waving frantically and the other was carrying her pet monkey.

    ‘Tom!’ she cried as she reached him. ‘I wanted to give you something to remember me by. Something to give you courage and strength.’

    She reached into her pocket and produced a small St Christopher medallion.

    ‘For me?’ he asked.

    ‘Yes. Please take it.’

    ‘Obrigadu,’ Tom said as he took it and caressed it with his index finger. ‘I shall treasure it always.’ He scratched the head of the monkey before he held out his hand, which she took and gave a hearty shake. He took her hand and kissed it. ‘Take care of that little rascal,’ he said.

    ‘Obrigada. Take care of yourself and stay safe.’

    ‘Obrigadu. I will. Adeus, my friend.’

    ‘Adeus.’

    With that, Tom turned around and boarded the ship.

    As the ship pulled out Tom watched as Sister Marcelina stood there, a lonely figure on the deck waving, her dress and veil flapping in the wind as she held onto her pet monkey.

* * *

    Back home in Melbourne, Tom grabbed another beer and headed outside to look up at the night sky. He fixed his gaze on the galaxy of stars and wondered if somewhere out there, Sister Marcelina was looking up at the same spectacular sight back home in Same.