We don't have time for this.

‘’You're a fucking idiot, do you know that?’’

‘’Yep.’’

‘’Next time just shut up, alright? Jesus, pudding?’’

‘’Yep.’’

‘’You're lucky you're hot.’’

‘’Yep. Thank you.’’

Tommy was pissed off, not really pissed off, but enough. 

Our stroll continued as he huffed and puffed along, complaining about how this was a perfect example as to why he always picks up, alone. Look obviously I am no expert but everyone loves pudding, even drug dealers you know. 

In between his burst of complaining and whining, Tommy was skipping along with a smile on his face. Maybe he was skipping because he just wanted to get there quicker, or he was excited, probably a mix of the two. We had heard about this tree house somewhere, I cant remember exactly but it was behind Gory Plaza, in the forest, all spooky and stuff. Apparently the tree house was old, but decked out. There was rumors of furniture, beds, lights, even running water, but it might not even have existed, i would still be happy with a log to sit on lets be honest. Tommy didn't care either, I think he just wanted to trip somewhere other than his dads shed, he was always freaking out in there, you know, getting all paranoid and shit.

We got to the foot of the forest, the exhaust fans of the plaza buzzing on behind us. I like to tell myself that they were blowing my hair all cool and dramatic, you know?

It was there that Tommy whipped around and popped the tab on his tongue, his eyes widened with excitement, and he handed the baggie over to me. I too, followed the procedure, and popped the tab on my tongue, paying a little bit more attention to it than I presume Tommy did. It was bright pink, with dots of yellow on one of the corners. I did always wonder what the picture on the full sheet was, you know? 

Anyway, geared up and on an empty stomach, we ventured into the forest. I don't think we had the slightest idea where we were going, we were just running, climbing, skipping over logs and rocks. It was mossy, a little damp, but there was a nice chill in the air, it was cool on my skin.

The forest felt peaceful, sunlight pierced through the treetops creating strings of yellow, shooting in from the west. It was spring, i believe, so the moss and trees were glowing, breathing almost, or maybe that was the acid, but it felt glorious. I could feel every oxygen molecule on my skin, I could feel every drop of sun washing over my face and I could feel the air going into my lungs and spreading throughout my body. 

I wanna say around the one hour mark, we came across a tree house. 

‘’We found it!’’ Tommy exclaimed.  

‘’Maybe.’’ I said, not wanting to get his hopes up, you know? 

Tommy leaped in front of me, eager to explore the massive wooden structure. It was much larger than what i had expected, the wood hadn't held up the best in the wexford weather, it could have done with a couple replacements, some weather guard of some sort, but it still stood never the less.

Tommy was at the base of the tree house and there was a wooden ladder perched in front of him. He hesitated before climbing up it, i think he realized that it could break very easily under his weight. 

We glanced at each other before he slowly began to crawl up the ladder, step by step, one hand in front of the other. In about 45 seconds he had made it up the one story height ladder. I heard a low thump, and the a voice yell out to me, 

‘’Jenny! Get up here!’’

And so i waltzed over to the foot of the ladder, prepared to take on whatever stood in front of me, it being only a ladder, but still. 

Just as Tommy had done before me, i put one arm in front of the other and pulled myself up the ladder. It wobbled underneath me, but i managed to keep my balance enough to throw myself onto the floor of the tree house. 

Dry, it was dry. As i got up and got to my feet, I glanced around at the interior. Dry and warm and, cozy? How had we never been here before? There was old floral couches against two of the wall, mismatched, but they looked clean enough to sit on, there was antique looking furniture perked up wherever they could fit, each with some sort of ashtray or tinfoil littered on top, and a small dark brown carpet in the center of the floor that had been decently stained. Posters were dotted along the wall, mostly models in their swimsuits and what not. Of course it wasn't perfectly clean, the occasional cigarette butt on the floor, a thin coat of dust atop some of the furniture and cobwebs all over the windows. Windows? This place had glass fucking windows. It felt like a little home. 

Tommy sprawled himself along the bigger couch, he kept his shoes off of it though, it felt as though there was an unwritten rule in this tree house. We had to respect it. 

I made myself comfortable on the other couch, head back looking at the ceiling. 

‘’This is unreal.’’ I said to Tommy. ‘’Un-fucking-real.’’

He didn't respond but i knew he was listening. 

Nothing was said after that, we both lay and waited. Waited for anything. 

I started getting some light visuals, like the posters looked prettier, the planks of wood that made up the walls began to shift and wave, and i continued to lie there, smiling. Id no idea of the trip we were about to go on. 

I heard Tommy sit up and stay still for a few minutes, maybe 5 or so, until he finally spoke up.

 ‘’Jenny?’’

I sat myself up to face him.

‘’Yes?’’

‘’Where are we?’’

‘’The tree house, behind gory plaza.’’

‘’No, i know that i mean, really, where?’’

I couldn't tell if he was playing mind games with me, or trying to trick me.

‘’We’re together.’’

‘’No, not like that.’’

He fell silent again, and my mind started to wander, and wander until i too, started to ask myself where we were. 

‘’Tommy?’’

‘’Yeah?’’

‘’I think i get it.’’

And at that moment, that moment is the moment i think my life changed.

Everything seemed to open up, the tree house got wider, but not just on a physical aspect. 

Me. 

I was sitting in a tree house, behind gory plaza, with Tommy O’Leary. 

It was 1973, April 12th. 

April 12th.

April. 

12th.

I kept repeating the date in my head as time started to fall apart all around me. Dates and times and clocks, calender's and deadlines, sunset and sunrise, morning and afternoon, day, night, it was all meaningless, there was no need. And i don't mean imagine a world without them, i mean they literally had no need. Time didn't exist to me. All of a sudden there was no present. It felt like the present couldn't possibly exist because we are constantly moving. Constantly. We never stop. 

‘’Moving through what?’’ i whispered to myself but Tommy heard me and flung his head up.

‘’ That's just it, isn't it?’’

Tommy stood up and did the whole ‘looks at his hands in awe’ thing. 

‘’we are moving in a straight line. What if the line didn't exist?’’

‘’What if it doesn't exist? But a straight line is all we can comprehend?’’

I answered him. I couldn't even my speak my thoughts to him no matter how hard i tried though, it felt like there was no words to describe where we were. Or more specifically, when we were. 

‘’Who created time and why does it run the way it does?’’

‘’If it ran backwards it would still be running in a straight line?’’

‘’What if this is backwards?’’

‘’Maybe time doesn't run at all?’’

A lot of people talk about an ‘ego death’, which is a loss of perception, in a way. 

I cant say what i experienced was even remotely comparable.

Time doesn't run. 

Time doesn't run?

I've never been able to comprehend that sentence the same way I did that day. 

When we were in the tree house, we weren't really there, physically yes, but in the bigger scheme of things we weren't anywhere. We weren't in our ‘happy place’, and we weren't in our ‘sad place’ either. There was no place to be, and there certainly was no time to be.

With the realization that time just, didn't run, i started wondering again. About the past, or the present, the future. 

How all these words were used so we could comprehend how we experience existence, or ‘time’ as we come to call it. The present will soon be the past. 1973 will soon be the ‘past’. 

You're constantly in the past, in a way? Same with the future. 

I was thinking so much, i felt as though i needed to rest my body. So i lay myself down, on the filthy brown carpet, my mind was still thinking of thoughts i didn't even know i could think of, but i tried to focus on the visuals.

Key word: Tried.

My memory of the rest of the ‘day’ is flawed, we never left the tree house though, maybe we did have a safe space after all. After what i think had been ‘hours’, i spoke to Tommy again.

‘’Tommy?’’

‘’Yeah?’’

‘’You right?’’

A hesitant reply followed.

‘’Think so.’’

‘’Whats you're watch say?’’

‘’Six forty.’’

‘’Shit.’’

We continued to lie there. I had to be home at ‘5’, but at this point I didn't even care about a curfew. It didn't exist to me. 

I started staring at one of the posters on the wall. It was a woman with long blonde hair, straightened, down past her chest. I stared at her until the colors my mind had conjured up seemed to fade, and the lines had that flowed with her hair began to dissipate. I registered her face as a face, and nothing more. It was then that Tommy spoke up with a bit of life in his voice.

‘’Eight thirty seven.’’

‘’We should leave.’’

‘’Yeah.’’

‘’How was your trip?’’

‘’Honestly?’’

‘’Yeah, go on.’’

‘’I don't think ill ever be the same again.’’

‘’Yeah.’’

‘’What about you?’’

‘’I, i don't know.’’

‘’That's OK.’’

‘’Yeah.’’

‘’Yeah.’’

...

‘’Do you wanna do this again?’’