The colour of darkness.

As I walk across the sand I get nostalgia from memories a long time ago. The sand was burning my feet. It was hot but the clouds kept coming closer. When I looked out at the horizon. So flat. The sun wasn't up yet but the moon was fading away slowly in its phases. The sand was blowing with the wind in my face which made it hard to walk. As I had to shield my eyes. I put my colour blind glasses on. So that I could see clearly. I collected some rocks and shells and put them into my pocket. 

I just escaped the mental facility. I don't know if they'll ever find me here. I reached the top of a cliff and I sat over the edge for a few hours wondering how I got here in the first place. Watching the sun come up and it was bright. It was still freezing. I dangled my feet over the cliff. I wonder what would happen if I jumped. I was blessed with stupid thoughts. Everyone in my family has suicidal thoughts most skitsophrinic. 

My life has been quite tragic. I was put in Shadows Hill Asylum for trying to commit suicide. For the last year I have been admitted twice for three months each time and it was hell. It really changes life's perspectives.  

 I've tried several times before but none of them had worked and obviously the universe doesn't want me to die yet. Even though I'm in pain with an immunity disorder twenty four seven! I'd been in the asylum for weeks and I wasn't getting any better with my depression I just faked being happy and tried to hide beneath my smile. The walls were cream in the dorm rooms, the reading facility was bright navy blue. There was a giant window in the middle of the wall brilliant to watch all the storms we've been having..I would often sit there and dream of being outside..

My name is Curtis and I am openly gay. I'm 24 years old and I am psychotic because of my drug use. But I can't give it up now. It's all I want. Every second of every day. But I limit myself. I live in Shadows Hill. Where they just conducted a murder investigation because a man was found dead at the cemetery. Police said that his family had passed away in the war because they were affected by the agent Orange chemical explosion. His cross was put next to the gate so her spirit could roam free. My mum was a police officer and she worked higher up to be a Sargent. She saw the man's body and she said it was reformed because someone drowned him by strangulation and drowning. A man was put in gaol for life as he already had just gotten out and murdered his mother in the same way. Drowning and strangulation. 

The police were after me to try and send me back to the asylum but I was good at hiding. I'm skinny so I can fit in confined space. I made a doomsday space. I decided to run to it. It was close to my house. My parents didn't even know about it. I ran as fast as I could in order not to be caught. I couldn't go back there. It's horrifying to say the least.

Those creamed walls make me clostraphobic this was the first time that I had been outside on my own without a nurse watching my every move. I only had my gown on and my underwear I didn't have time to get changed. Otherwise they would have seen me getting dressed and they would know my plan. I escaped knowing the consequences. I reached my dog out. I opened my secret metal door buried under thin fake grass so I would know where it was. 

As I went down into the drain behind our house it was dark cold and quiet. I was surprised because usually the homeless would have all of their things packed away or in a trolley and put their belongings on the pathway that led to the bike track. My dugout was about three metres away from the starting point of the drain. I had used strong wood I found in the neighbours back yard. They weren't using it so why not? I sanded it down to make a square shape and roughly sanded the corners. I made a door out of bamboo sticks. What mum used to smack us with when we were little until the rules of this generation bought out love and distraction as discipline methods. 

For the carpet I just used a couple of old bed sheets I had in my cupboard. I had a mini fridge filled up with sodas and snacks. I started to hear the sirens rumbling around outside obviously looking for me. But I was protected no body would think to look in a drain for a person that just got out of an asylum. 

I had bandages on my fingers and my wrists. Because I jumped out of my third floor units window. Luckily I ended up with my ribs broken so it was crucial to get medical attention. I fell asleep to the sounds of sirens I had a blanket and one pillow that I wrapped myself in to with my hands over my ears so that I couldn't hear them. 

When I woke up there were still sirens I didn't get much sleep maybe two hours at the most. I was scared and I was cold because it was the first day of winter. Usually I love everything about winter. I'd rather be in my bed at my parents house. My parents were loving and caring but when I had an episode they didn't know how to handle it. Their son, me their only child struck with a medically tragic challenge was on the run from those cream walls and metal doors.