The Broken Boy

Anna had just put a cool cloth on his forehead when she saw her grandson's eyes flicker open.

         "There's my guy," she said, looking down at him with a smile.

         "It happened again, didn't it Gram?"

         "Shhh sweetie, just lay quiet."

         "Why does my head hurt?" nine-year-old Sam asked.

         "You tried to use it to knock down one of my apple trees."

         His eyes closed as he sighed. "Gram?"

         "Yeah, baby."

         "I'm sorry."

         "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about." He leaned into the soft hand on his face. "How about you try to rest for a bit. You'll feel better after a nap."

         "Okay, Gram. I love you."

         "Love you more." Anna watched him drift off, her face taking on a grim expression. She motioned to her two Jack Russells named Rose and Violet. "Stay with him, girls." The Russells immediately laid down. They were good with napping.

         She stood and headed out to the backyard to deal with his mother who wasn't allowed inside her house anymore. Anna unlocked the backdoor, stopping at the end of the covered porch. Her daughter was sitting on a stone bench by one of her many gardens which was Anna's favorite hobby. It was hard to reconcile the Karin who sat there with the bright, vivacious teenager who had gone off to college twelve years ago. Anna still carried a lot of guilt that she had missed what her daughter had gotten involved in at school. It wasn't until one of her so-called boyfriends died of an overdose that she figured it out. Maybe she hadn't wanted to see it or maybe Karin had been able to hide it in the beginning, but by the time Anna understood, it was too late.

         She had tried to get her into rehab but Karin refused, saying she didn't need to go, and that she could stop anytime. Then she started stealing money and valuables from Anna to support her habit. Even Anna's experience as a Clinical Psychologist stood no chance against this type of enemy. Karin was an adult and Anna had no legal leverage so she finally cut her off. She left open the option of rehab but Karin never took it. Then she had a baby with one of the many men she was running around with. Extremely worried about the child, Anna had stepped back into her life. Remarkably, the baby hadn't had any long-term health problems from his mother's addiction. Karin then began using Sam to essentially blackmail Anna. If she wanted to see him, she was going to have to pay to do it. It made Anna hard and cold when it came to her daughter. 

         Walking over to Karin, Anna saw how twitchy she was. Her daughter's hair was long and greasy. Her clothes were mismatched and dirty. 

         "How is he?" Karin asked.

         "Sam's fine. It's you who needs help."

         "Don't start, Mother. What was that?"

         "A terror attack, the roots of which were no doubt started by being dragged from nightmare to nightmare, watching his mother," Anna stopped, thinking how pointless this was. Her heart made her continue. "Only God and Sam know what kind of abuse he's been subjected to." Anna stared down at her. 

         With her hands running up and down her arms and her feet bouncing, Karin looked up at her. Anna saw she was wearing a long sleeve sweatshirt even though it was summer. No doubt to hide the marks.

         "He was getting so angry and violent towards me. Then he had one of those attacks. I didn't know what else to do."

         "Bringing him here was the first good decision you've made in years."

         "I've come to take him back."

         "You were so wasted when you dropped him off a week ago, I'm surprised you remembered where he was. In any case, he's not going anywhere with you. You saw what happened. Just seeing you sent him into a full-blown, blind-running, terror attack which caused him to run head-first into a tree."

         "He's my son."

         "Sam deserves a chance at a good life. Not one where he's being used as a bargaining chip by his addict mother whenever you need money. I intend to give him that life before it's too late and he ends up dead in some flophouse somewhere. My biggest regret is that I didn't do this sooner."

         "You can't do this."

         "Watch me." Anna pulled a paper from her back pocket and handed it to her. "There's a hearing in three days. I'm asking for full custody with no visitation rights for you until you go through rehab and prove you're staying clean. I hope you come so you can watch it happen. Then maybe losing Sam forever will be what finally makes you realize how far you've fallen. Now I want you gone before he wakes up." Karin hesitated, looking at the house. "I said GO."

         "Can't you at least give me some money?"

         "GO!"

         Anna watched her make her unsteady way out the gate to her piece of crap car and leave. She headed inside to check on Sam. 

         Both of them were early risers and this morning, Sam was up even before her. From the kitchen, she saw him sitting on the large back porch swing. Anna made herself a cup of tea, poured him a glass of orange juice, and took it out to him.

         "There's my guy," she said, handing him his juice.

         "Thanks, Gram," he responded with a small smile before his face turned to its normal sad, haunted look. He drank it and sat quietly for a moment. "Why don't I have a Grandpa?" he asked.

         Anna looked at him silently. Of course, he wouldn't know.

         "I want to show you something. I'll be right back." Anna went in

and brought out a large picture album. She leafed through it until she found a page that had a newspaper article attached. "This is from twenty years ago. Go ahead and read it out loud please."

         "Last evening at the, what's this word, Gram."

         "Intersection. It's where two streets come together."

         "At the intersection of Fifth Street and Vine, a car driven by Anna Gomb, that's you, Gram," Sam said surprised.

         "Keep reading."

         "A car driven by Anna Gomb slid on ice and crashed into a large pole. The passenger in the vehicle, Sam Gomb, his name is the same as mine!"

         "Yes, you were named after him. Go on."

         "Sam Gomb died at the scene while Anna was taken by ambulance to the hospital where her condition is unknown." Sam looked at Anna and then read the article again. "He died at the scene?"

         "Yes."

         "You were driving when it happened?"

         "Yes, I was driving. It was my fault." Sam was stunned after it sunk in. "It was very difficult after he died. I became a psychologist so I could help other people who also had bad things happen to

them."

         "Like me," Sam said softly. "Can you help me like you help them?"

         "That's my plan, sweetie. I need to talk to you about something."

         He looked at her concerned. Anna pulled him closer and put her arm around him. He snuggled in.

         "I was wondering if you wanted to live with me from now on?"

         A flash of hope went across his face and as quickly went away. He had learned a long time ago how painful hope could be.

         "Mom won't let me."

         "I know, that's why I want to make it legal and permanent by going to a judge."

         "I don't understand." Anna explained it to him. 

         He threw his arms around her. "I want that more than anything."

         "Okay, then that's what we'll do. I need you to be strong when we talk to the judge."

         "I am strong. I've made it this far."

         Anna looked into his nine year old eyes. She could only imagine what those young eyes had seen. She was pleased to see for once, they didn't look so haunted.

         Family court was not like a trial. There was no jury, just a judge who listened to both sides and made a determination. Judge Janet Thompson had been a family judge for twenty-five years. Most of her cases were divorce proceedings and deciding custodial arrangements. The one she just listened to was happening more frequently now where family members, most often grandparents,

were trying to get custody of minor children because the addict parents were either dead or unable to care for them, and in some even more horrific situations, were using the child to pay for their habit. She looked at the mother and could tell by her actions and behavior, she was undoubtedly high. A chill ran down her spine as she looked at the boy. His haunted, hopeless look was all too familiar. Still, she had to go by the book. Parental rights took precedence and taking a child away required her to have an absolutely overriding reason to do so.

         "I want to talk to Sam alone in my chambers." A family judge had almost unlimited leeway in how they handled these hearings.

         Anna gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I'll be right here. Be strong, okay?" Sam nodded.

         He followed Janet into her chambers, a bailiff behind him. Sam turned and looked at him. "Who's he?"

         "That's Officer Duncan."

         "Why's he here?"

         "It's just a rule whenever I'm in my chambers with someone. Let's sit on the couch."

         Sam didn't move. "I don't want him here."

         Janet saw the fear on his face. She motioned to the bailiff to

leave. "I'll be fine, Bill." She watched him as Sam walked around her chambers looking at everything and then sat beside her. "Do you understand what this hearing is about, Sam?" He nodded. "How about you tell me."

         "Whether I live with my Gram from now on."

         "That's right. Tell me how you feel about that."

         "I want to stay with her."

         "Why?"

         "Because she loves me."

         Janet stopped and looked at him a moment. "And your mother doesn't?"

         "No."

         "Why do you think that?" Sam immediately looked down at his lap and didn't answer. "It's okay, Sam, tell me." He shook his head. "Why won't you?"

         He looked up at her and his expression made her want to cry. "It's bad," he whispered. "I've seen bad things. Bad things have happened to," he stopped, quickly looking down again.

         "Were you going to say, happened to me?"

         "I don't want to talk about this. I want my Gram."

         "You can tell me, Sam. I only want to help."

         "You won't understand." He was shaking and starting to cry. "I

want my Gram."

         "Please Sam, tell me. I need to know so I can decide whether to allow you to live with your Gram."

         Tears streaming down his face, he told her. After he was done, she held him for several minutes, talking softly. "It's going to be okay, Sam. I'm going to take care of this." Janet called for the

bailiff.

         "Bill, bring in his grandmother." Anna walked in. Sam immediately got up and ran to her, throwing his arms around her. Running her hand through his short hair, Anna looked at Janet's very grim face. "Normally, I take several days to decide. Not this time. I won't subject Sam to any more trauma or stress. I grant you full custody with no visitation privileges for the mother. He's yours, Anna. Bill," she said to the bailiff, "take them out my other door and show them the way to the front."

         There was to be no sitting on the couch for Karin. Janet was back on the bench with Karin standing in front of her. Janet could see how glassy her eyes were.

         "I understand addiction and how it works, but that child isn't to blame for your situation and I won't allow him to be a victim of it any longer. Sam is so badly traumatized that there is no way I would ever put him back in your custody. The only reason I'm not having you arrested is I won't subject him to any more trauma by having to testify against you. You can forget about visitation privileges. I'm personally thankful it's your mother who has him now. Sam's going to need her best efforts.

         "If you EVER want to see your son again, you have only one choice." Janet handed a card to the bailiff to give to her. "You take this and immediately check into the rehab clinic on the card. You finish the program and never deviate from it, EVER! If there is anything left of you in there, I'm hoping you take what I'm offering and turn your life around while you still have some part of it left. If you do, maybe you'll see Sam again. It's up to you."

         Sitting on her couch updating her patient files, Anna looked up when a small shadow covered her notes. "Hey baby, how are you feeling?" she asked with a smile.

         He'd been doing better these last few months. Their counseling sessions were going well and his terror attacks had stopped. Anna had decided to home-school him for the foreseeable future.

         "Good, the girls and I were playing."

         She had started seeing glimpses of the child peeking out like they were trying to determine if it was truly safe now. The girls had been instrumental in making that happen.

         "Sounds like fun."

         Sam nodded. "May I sit with you?"

         "Of course." He sat and Anna pulled him in closer, her arm around him.

         "Can I ask you something?"

         "I hope you know you always can."

         "You miss Grandpa, don't you?"

         Anna looked at him with a smile, wondering where this was going. "Yes, I do."

         "Because you still love him?"

         "Yes."

         "Does that mean you can't love someone else?"

         "I love you."

         He smiled. "I love you more, but I mean love someone like Grandpa."

         "Why are you asking?"

         "I saw pictures in the Judge's chambers. She's older like you and she had someone like Grandpa with her. I want you to have someone like that."

         "Sweetie, what a wonderful thing to say."

         "I wouldn't mind and I bet Grandpa wouldn't either." Seeing her face, Sam quickly said, "I'm sorry I made you cry."

         "Oh baby, your beautiful words mean these are sweet tears."

         "Sweet tears? I've never had those."

         "You will, I promise. How about this? I'll keep my eyes open and if the right person shows up, maybe I will."

A story like this needs a happy ending. 

         "Graduating Magna Cum Laude, Samuel Gomb." 

         They all stood and cheered. After the ceremony, Anna watched Sam walking towards them, holding the hand of his fiancé, Sarah Carson. Sarah was an orphan. They were both in the nursing program and had met when they were freshmen. She had lived with them for the last two years. Both had some serious issues growing up and with Anna's help, they finally healed each other. Sam knelt down in front of his six year old half-sister.

         "Your graduation was very long, Sam," Kelly said.

         "I thought so too. Thank you for hanging in there." Kelly gave him a bright, gap-toothed grin.

         Sam stood and hugged his mother. Clean for twelve years now, he and Gram had agreed to allow her back in his life when he was thirteen. 

         "I'm so proud of you, Sam," Karin told him.

         "I'm proud of you too, Mom."

         He shook hands with her husband, Mike Thompson. He was a truck driver whose first wife had died in a car accident. As a result, he was drinking heavily when Karin met him. She had gotten him into the same recovery program as her. They had been married for seven years. He was a good husband and father.

         There was a handshake and hug with the older man standing next to Gram. As part of his therapy, Gram had started taking him to yoga classes with her. There she had met Gary Grayson, a retired pediatrician who had been a widower as long as Anna. Taking it slow and easy, they had hit it off. Married for two years now, Sam had never seen Anna happier.

         Standing in front of the person who had been his universe since the age of nine, Sam handed his diploma to Anna. "This is for you, Gram. Thank you so much for my life. I love you more than I can tell you." Smiling and crying, Anna opened her arms and hugged him. "I hope they're sweet tears, Gram," Sam said.

         Laughing now, Anna motioned Sarah in for a group hug. "I can't imagine two people who are better for each other," she told them.

         They turned to the final person of their party. They all took each other's hands. Judge Janet Thompson had taken a personal interest in Sam and kept tabs on him throughout the years. She met with Sam and Anna on a regular basis to see how he was doing. After she retired and her official duties were over, they became good friends. When Sam invited her to his graduation, she jumped at it.

         "You're the one whose decision directly or indirectly unstuck all of us. You allowed us to move forward which gifted us with Kelly. Your wisdom and compassion made this possible," Sam said to her. "Without you, things would have been very different for us. Thank you, Janet."

         Glad they were part of the lucky few, Janet's smile beamed at them.

                                           The End