A Light in the Dark Part Two: A Tainted Surprise

Staring at the two lines, I buried my face into my palms. Two months could not have passed so quickly, dread bubbling in my gut. Throwing all the tests into the nearest trash can. Ignoring the crippling mental fear, a pale face stared back at me. A loud knock interrupted my train of thought, my friend calling for me to help him out in his restaurant. Fixing my borrowed uniform, the pants were already catching on my slight bump. Throwing myself in the chaos, Sarianna scooted up next to me. Her sleek chocolate bob emphasized her features, her four inches over me made me feel way too small. Tall and slender, she could have been a model but chose cooking. 

“What did the tests say, Lil?” She prodded incessantly, my hand touching a hot handle. Cursing loud enough for the restaurant to hear, my left hand was throbbing. Running my hand under cold water, her heels were right on my non-slip shoes. Focusing on the burn, it took everything for me not to snap at her. Choosing to ignore her, her attempts got more grating to my sanity. This is why I liked to be home with Matty and not people. 

“Why are you helping me anyway? Isn’t this your only day off?” She kept asking with a concerned tone, the glass I was holding shattering from my strong grip. Plucking out the pieces of glass from my palm, she was still in my personal bubble. Raising my hands up in the air, all eyes fell on me. 

“Fuck all of this. If you must know, they were positive.” I growled through gritted teeth, my numb gaze watching ruby drops stain dye the water a pale red. “I am going to quit if you keep badgering me, you annoying idiot. I am working because I despise my parents’ money. I want to earn everything I have and Matty needs a new part for his car.” Giving me the space I needed, my trembling hands wrapped my hand in gauze. Tugging on a black glove, it was time to get back to work. Toiling through the night, not one table was late. Glancing over at a hurt Sari, tears welled up in my eyes. What right did I have to yell at her because I was working through something. A waiter shouted for someone to stop, Matty skidding in. Huffing in a resting position, Sari raised her hand to send the waiter away. Running up to the hot plate, it would be up to the others to clean up. Tossing my glove into the trash, she slid me a check. Tucking it into my pocket, Matty yanked me close to his hips. An apologetic smile met my nervous grin, his foot began to tap incessantly. Great, his anxiety was eating at him. Massaging my forehead, his next words broke me.

“My car won't start again.” He admitted sheepishly, all of this was becoming too much. “I walked here and my feet are so freaking sore." A wave of nausea hit me, Sari stealing me away. Pinning me against the wall, her face was uncomfortably close to mine. Shoving her away, another bout of chaos erupted around the corner. A man with a gun caused my friend to turn into a pile of nerves, the man’s stringy hair clinging to his face. Noting the bloodshot but glazed over eyes, the monster of a man was high on two substances. Pushing her aside, Sari shouted out in protest at me picking up a kitchen knife. Crawling over to my leg, her arms refused to let go. 

“Stop it! What about the baby?” She screamed desperately, a barely alert Matty putting two and two together. Letting me go, I aimed the knife at his hand. Clearing my throat, the ruby glistening on his forehead distracted me. The bastard had hit his head, bruises dotted his arms. Adjusting my aim, the tip should strike him in the center of the hand holding the gun. Letting it go, Sari cried out as it landed where I expected it. Those years of hunting really paid off. Time slowed down, his loaded gun dropping to the ground. Judging where it was going, the bullet would strike the struggling Matty. Leaping towards him, a bullet landed in my shoulder. A steady stream of curse words flooded from my lips, my shaking hand grabbing the gun. Dismantling the gun, silent tears stained my cheeks. Shit! This fucking hurt. Red and blue lights blinded me, the monster of a man running towards my friend with a knife in his other hand. Struggling to my feet, my left shoulder was useless. Charging at the man, his next words almost gave me pause. 

“I am going to kill you if I can’t have you, Sari!” He spat viciously, Sari wetting herself. Sobbing violently from the fear and embarrassment, my legs moved faster. Smashing into him, the edge of the blade nicked my cheek. Kicking the blade up in the air, it skidded in Matty’s direction. Placing his hands behind his back, he struggled underneath my weight. The room spun around me, everything becoming triple versions of themselves. Rough darkness stole me away.

Jerking awake, Matty’s head rested on one side while Sari lay on the other side with a scarlet sweater dress on. At least, she got to change. Bright lights blinded me, the machines were going nuts. Stupid beeping, didn’t they know I had a freaking migraine pounding away in my head. Attempting to move my left shoulder, a tiny squeak escaped my lips. Ripping off everything, I tossed the hospital gown aside. The beeping made my head feel worse, all the noise irritating me on a whole other level. Tugging on my uniform, my feet slid into my sneakers. Running down the hall, every movement felt like a chore. Bursting from the hospital, tears welled up in my eyes. Running out of sight, the nurse stopped looking for me. Walking towards the cemetery, I needed to see my parents. Stopping in front of the rod iron gates, a sigh of relief poured from my lips. Wiping the clammy sweat off of my forehead, a sad smile curled on my lips. Tracing each tombstone, a strange man stood over my parents grave. Hiding behind a big oak, all the breath left my body at his regret soaked words. 

“I am sorry that I took you from your beautiful girl. I finally got cleaned and realized what I did.” He wept brokenly, burying his worn face into his palm. “I ruined a kid’s life.” Fighting back my tears, a branch gave my position away. His wet sage eyes fell on me, a messy mop of dark brown hair floating around his shoulders. Clearing my throat, he waited patiently for me to hit him. Shaking my head, I sank to my knees in front of my parents’ grave. Violent sobs wracked my body, the forty year old man tugged at his cheap suit. Pressing my forehead to the ground, every emotion lay in the scream bursting from my mouth. Hitting my right fist on the ground, the rest of my tears burst from the dam. 

“I am pregnant and I don’t know what to do. I wish you could hold me right now and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I wish you would say I can’t wait to be a grandparent. Why am I always alone? Why!” I yelled into the ground, my fingers digging into the dirt. Crouching down to my level, the strange man rubbed my back. Expecting me to shove him away, a surprised look rounded his eyes at me embracing him. Crying into his shoulder, it didn’t matter what the bastard did. Holding me until the cries softened  into a gentle weep. Sitting back, I rested my right hand on my knee. 

“Do you want to get food?” I invited him politely, confusion dawning on his face. Apprehension held him back, a strained huh escaping his lips. Helping me to my feet, he shoved his hands into pockets. Getting lost in the good memories of my mothers smiles and my fathers idiotic laugh, another wave of sorrow threatened to cripple me. 

“I may have served my time but I don't deserve such kindness.” He choked out oddly, a snarl curling on my lips. Clenching my fists, he didn’t get it. An unbridled amount of rage coursed through my veins, the crack of my hand slapping his cheek stunned us both. Clutching my hand to my chest, this felt wrong. Still unsaid words needed to come out. 

“I hate you for taking my parents away but I thought you spent enough time in jail. I was hoping you would clean up. I wake up everyday hating life because I don’t get to see them again.” I barked bitterly, shaking my head. "I want to know what compelled you to drink and drive. Tell me, damn it!” Crossing his hands, he shifted uncomfortably. Struggling to say it, several lumps formed in his throat. 

“My girlfriend committed suicide that night. I turned the worst thing possible. I see them everywhere. I see her everywhere. It doesn’t stop!” He returned just as broken as me, my arms pulling him into a warm embrace. “You have every right to hate me.” Letting him go, we stood in awkward silence. Stepping back, I rubbed the back of my head. Flashing him a gentle smile, we were both broken. 

“Let’s get breakfast and try to make all this water under the bridge. My therapist told me to forgive and I will eventually I hope but for now let’s become distant acquaintances who eat breakfast together once a week.” I offered sincerely, his wet eyes glistening with hope. “I believe in redemption and I can help you with that process.” Walking next to each other, he began to tell me all the good times he had with his girlfriend. Stopping in front of the diner, the bustling kitchen was inches from us. 

“I am Derrick Muttons, a bewildered man not understanding a mature nineteen year old.” He introduced himself politely, a waitress pouring him a coffee. Ordering our food, an oppressive silence poisoned the air. The bell jingled, horror rounding my eyes at my bitter aunt. Her gray hair had been twisted into a severe bun, her simple black heels clicking over to me. Slapping me across the face, the diner went quiet. Her copper eyes glistened with tears, another backhand striking my lips. Blood soaked my top lip, her hand raised again. Catching her arm, her stern gaze met his protective snarl. Time slowed, her gray trousers fluttering in the slight breeze of the opening door. 

“You must be the one who abused her for the two years after her parents died. How pitiful. You blamed a child when it was my fault. You called for me to spend more time in jail but she said that I could get out.” He barked venomously, dropping her arm. "Did you help her? No, you shunned and blamed her for a normal request on a birthday. Fuck you. Get the hell away from her.” Ignoring him, her fingers gripped my chin like she always did when I moved in with her. 

“You are a filthy little brat for talking to him and letting him get out early!” She screamed wildly in my face, her grip getting stronger. The crack of me slapping her face frightened me, my face paling. A wave of nausea hit me, hot vomit flying onto her outfit. Clammy sweat drenched my skin, a fever burning my cheeks. Raising her hand to strike, her yells faded in and out as every breath grew shorter. Cupping the sides of my head,I began to rock back and forth. 

“Make it stop!” I pleaded desperately, fresh tears staining my cheek as his arm took the slap for me. Rising to his feet, he pushed her out of the silver diner. Yelling at her to stay away, his crime may have been egregious but he did just help me out. Lowering my hands, he placed them on the table. Asking for ice, he held it to my lip. Why did he have to care? 

“You don’t have to do this!” I snapped tiredly, his head shaking. “You didn’t have to do that.” Smacking it to the black and white tiles, I excused myself. Wandering back to our apartment, my keys dropped to the filthy carpet of our apartment. Sinking to my knees, a familiar touch captured my attention. Matty had his own key, his sympathetic grin meeting mine. Helping up while scooping up my keys, his lips kissed mine hungrily. Arching my body towards him, his hand fell to my slight bump. Scarlet colored my cheeks, his thumbs wiping away my tears. 

“Let me draw up a bath for you.” He whispered sweetly, unlocking our apartment. Letting him draw me a bath, I scratched at the tops of my hand. Why did I feel so horrible right now? Sobbing into my palms, every emotion battled another one. A tap on my shoulder snapped me out of my downward spiral, Matty clutching me close to his chest. Trembling in his arms, a warmth came over me the moment lips brushed against the top of my head. 

“I can’t wait to be a dad.” He gushed excitedly, lifting up my chin with his finger. “Who was your best friend in high school after all?” He wasn’t wrong, Matty had always been more than my co-worker. Unable to say anything, his next words shattered my heart. 

“Who cleaned you up in the bathroom before school every day after the accident? I got a job at the gas station to protect you during your shift. I think your family are pieces of shit but mine is great. My mother will be thrilled to bits.” He continued with his real smile, his other hand sliding down to my bump again. Some of my nerves faded away, his forehead pressing against mine. My breath hitched at our closeness, a knock interrupting us. The door opened cautiously, Matty’s mother rushed in. Her wild silver mane matched Matty's, her emerald eyes glittered with love. Laughing anxiously, Matty shielded me from her hug. Puffing her lips into a pout, her simple emerald sweater and jeans outfit was what I chose to focus on. 

“Matty, let me see her.” She begged, his eyes rounding in protest at me freeing myself. Running into the bedroom, my shaking fingers tugging on a gray sweatshirt dress. Wiping my face, my shaking hands hid the bruises with foundation. A red lip hid my busted lips, one final check up had me the best I could look. Stepping out, she smashed into my busted shoulder. A soft whine like that of a balloon escaped my lips, one single tear sliding down my cheek. Spinning me around, more intense pain shot through my body. Holding my hands, a warmth came over me the moment she got the level of my bump. Resting her head on it, tears of joy flooded from her eyes.

“I know the last two years have been rough but I always knew you two would end up together.” She gushed with a matching smile not far off from her son’s. “When’s the wedding?” Matty spit out his water, her head still resting against my stomach. Shock stunned me into a paralyzed position, his throat clearing. 

“Not anytime soon, Ma.” He answered briskly, hurt dimming my eyes. Looking away in shame, he didn’t want me after all. Catching my reaction, a stern mom look had him shrinking back. Rising to her feet, her sneakers squeaked over to him. Placing her hands on her hips, her foot began to tap incessantly. 

“Wrong answer. You knocked her up and you must do the right th-” She began to chide him, my throat clearing stopping her. Crossing my hands, that should never be a reason. Stepping forward, the tears couldn’t stop flowing. Say something idiot, I yelled at myself. 

“I don’t want him to force himself to do that.” I cried brokenly, bowing my head in shame. “It takes to tango. I am going for a walk. . I don’t deserve any of this. My parents died because of me. I deserved everything after that day. Is happiness even real? All I feel is a crushing depression and the last thing I want is to drag your son into that. Excuse me.” Sliding on my boots, I closed the door behind me. Walking onto the cracked pavement, my boots carried me to the bridge. Heavy rain soaked me to my bones, the drops of water shattering the surface of the river. My hair stuck to my face, every drop making me a bit more alive. Matty ran up to me, his arms yanking me into a living embrace. 

“I don’t care about all of that. I want to be with you. We can work on all that.” He vowed with love in his eyes, his lips kissing the top of my head. “I’ll marry you when you want to. Is that what it's all about?” Shaking my head, my fingers gripped his soaking wet shirt. 

“I can’t do this.” I sobbed into his shoulder, his fingers playing with my hair. “All I do is run, and run but I can’t do that with this. What if I screw up. What if I die and leave the baby all alone?" Placing me on his back, this reminded me of the days he would carry me to his house in the middle of the night after every bad beating from my aunt. Resting my head on his chest, he was all I needed at this moment.