My Mistakes

12/27/19

I feel as if the world is around me, sure I'm happy right now but in the back all i can think to myself is I wasn't there for him. I'm not sure how i'm going to handle this yet and I know that I am no where near ready to date. And who knows i'll just get hurt again and i'm tired of it. Night

Love, Rose

12/31/19

I have all of these amazing people around me, I have Madison, Nina, Max, Felix and then there's Corbin and i think he likes me, and he's been here through this whole break up with christian. I feel so alone even though i have so many people i talk to on a daily basis but it's like feeling alone in a crowded room i don't understand this.

Love, Rose

1/10/20

I'm sorry i haven't written in a while with the show choir practices getting harder and longer than normal with all my homework it seems i don't have any time to write my thoughts down but i have good news, Triston and i reconnected he heard about christian breaking up with me and gave me a hug saying it's gonna be ok. I'm just not sure him and i have been flirting back and forth now, and it feel's like i'm hurting Jolee cause the the two are still dating. All i want is Triston he's the other half of me. And the truth or dare games we play late at night are actually fun.

Love. Rose

1/11/20

Well have good news I've gotten a little more confident around him than anyone else but he is still with Jolee in the very back of my mind I want them to break up so he can be mine I want all of it, I want all of the hugs, taking me to dances, kisses, cuddles, prince and princess hoodies, nicknames I want the fairy tale ending that every girl dreams of. I want it all, it's been really hard these past few weeks but he's helping me forget all of my pain, but i still want to be with him. I don't want to call talk for a few hours then do stuff, have a good time and for rest of the night tell jokes and laugh at each other. And when we go walking into school like it never happened. I want to walk in holding his hand, I want his love.

Love,Rose

1/12/20

It's been a long day, I wrote a letter to Triston because he doesn't want me to look or talk to him for a while. We've stopped well...I've stopped sending pic's but at what cost? It's cost me an amazing friendship but i promised him that i would wait, i've waited since kindergarten for him i can wait a bit more. But i don't want to wait I'm tired of always waiting, i'm tired of being pushed to the side like scraps from a meal like i've said before I want it all. I want the fairy tale relationship, that every girl wants. But I need to come to terms that i will never be the fairy tale princess every other girl get's to be.

Sincerely, Rose

1/25/20

i'm finally dating him, i'm finally going to get my fairy tale ending. but i've recently reconnected with an old friend of mine and damn he's hotter than i remember and i'm scared i've shown him things i haven't shown triston, triston is my boyfriend you know what i'm going to show him, i'm not scared and if he does't want me and was just using me well then i'm the idiot aren't i. But i'm scared that my friend was using me as a toy...

Love, Rose

1/27/20-1/28/20

Tonight I went skating and Triston went to, the way him and i were together it was as if were dancing and the steps we've known out whole life. I can finally say that he's mine. I don't have to wait anymore I have the man of my dreams. The way his hand feel onto my hip so perfectly the way his hand caressed my jawline perfectly, it gave me goosebumps and the way he kissed me was perfect, our lips moved in sync. I truly believe that he's the best guy for me he's made me so happy, when I was with Christian i was so stressed all of the time And now with Triston I feel less stressed. I feel like i was a prisoner but now i'm uncut and unchained from this earth...I feel as though i could fly and never come back down.

Love, Rose

1/31/20

So I have some bad news one of my friends in the high school has commited suicide. Her name was Courtney, she was beautiful, from what i know she was an amazing friend. I remember seeing her at Walmart and saying "Indian lake show choir is the best" and she yelled back "hell yes we are" I miss her i wish I could've gotten to know her better. The guidance counselor says that Courtney and i were alot alike. We would smile even if we didn't want to, we're both artistic, she was always kind to her friends, she was in marching band, pep band, drumline,band, choir, show choir, art club. She was in all of it. Courtney we miss you and well see you in heavens choir.

Love, Rose

2/24/20

So i'm back Triston broke up with me the week of Valentines Day then my old Ex kaije and i got together on the 15th at my friend Madison's....also at Madi's i met Kaije's cousin Ryder...It got really intense and we ended up making out when Madi was asleep. But i'm dating kaije and it's going good hopefully i won't make the same mistake i made last time...

Love, Rose

I hope that i don't make the same mistake again i don't want to get hurt, i've been hurt time and time again if i get hurt by kaije i don't know if i will make it to summer.