Whisper. It felt like they had arrived in a ghost town. There was no one around, except for the wind, but Adeline could still hear their whispers. Like rats scuttering around her brain.
Evelie dragged her suitcase down the gravel street. She had always loved what she called ‘small town charm.’ A gust of wind below the map from her hand, and Evelie jumped to catch it. She dropped her suitcase handle, and Adeline grabbed it before it hit the floor, continuing to pull it without Evelie even noticing she had dropped it in the first place.
They stopped in front of what looked like an abandoned inn. “Hello?” Adeline called, and her voice echoed back, greeting her. Whispers. Like rats in the walls. She turned away for a moment to examine the rest of the lobby. It was old, but surprisingly well-kept. Nothing sparkled like she imagined it used to, but it was still-
“How may I help you?” A middle-aged woman seemed to appear out of nowhere behind the front desk, pulling Adeline from her thoughts. Before either of them could respond, the old woman answered her own question. “Oh, you must be Adeline and Evelie. I’ve heard all about you.” Her voice was so sweet, but it still put Adeline on edge. ‘Small town charm indeed,’ she thought to herself.
“Yes. We’re here for-”
-your brother’s wedding. Ian.” There was a pause. Adeline didn’t like this woman. “Well, if you ask me,-”
“I didn’t.” Adeline said under her breath.
Evelie playfully batted at her sister. “Don’t be rude.”
“I was just going to say I think he could do better than a girl like Valaria. I heard her father has a gambling problem.”
Evelie let out a slight gasp.
Adeline let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. “We’re just looking for a room. If you can’t help us, we’ll go somewhere else.”
“Of course. Right this way.” The woman took a key out of the drawer, and walked upstairs. The two girls followed her. “I heard they’re only getting married because she’s pregnant. Trapped a nice boy like that with a baby.” Tsk tsk. She clicked her tongue in disapproval.
Evelie grabbed onto her sister’s arm. “Ooh, Adeline. We’re going to be aunts.” She squealed.
“We’re not.” Adeline said dryly, taking the key from the woman, and closing the door behind her.
She threw her duffle bag onto the bed and pulled out her phone to text Ian. ‘Hey. We just got in. Want to meet up?’ She gave Evelie a stern look. “Don’t fall into small town gossip.”
“Please, Adeline. I’m not a child.” Evelie said, falling back on the bed.
Ping. ‘Can’t. Last minute wedding stuff.’
‘Do you need any help?’
‘Nah. Don’t worry about it. There’s this great little coffee shop on Oak if you want something to do. See you at the wedding?’
‘Yeah. :)’ She slipped the phone back in her pocket. “I’m heading out. Gonna’ try and see if anyone actually lives in this town, or if it’s just a movie set.”
‘Oak Street Coffee. A bit on the nose, but who was she to judge?’ She opened the door, and the little bell jingled.
The girl at the counter ordered. “Can I have a caramel frappuccino?” She spoke like a ditsy valley girl, despite probably living in this town her whole life.
“You got it.”
Adeline walked up to the counter. “I’ll just take an espresso.”
“Coming right up.” The barista smiled and started flipping bottles.
“Showoff.” The person behind her muttered.
Adeline rolled my eyes. She’d been doing that a lot since she got into town. She thought her eyeballs might roll to the back of her head before her brother’s wedding. She took her cup, and sat down at a table.
“Tina told me that Rebecca told her that Amy was talking bad about John.” The two people behind her whispered.
“She’s such a gossip; I’d leave her.” They were all gossips.
Adeline stirred her drink, trying to block out the noise.
“I heard that Ian’s sister is available. She just came into town, and she’s just a doll.”
Adeline scowled and grumbled to herself, not loud enough for them to hear. They just arrived, and it seems like they were the talk of the town.
“No way. I heard she’s super creepy. I think that’s her, right there.” Adeline could feel them pointing at her, like rubber bullets pressing into her back. But ‘creepy.’ Maybe people would leave her alone.
“No, he has two sisters. The other one. Someone told me that one killed a man.”
‘That one.’ Nah, ‘creepy’ just made her the subject of more gossip.
“Everyone’s so shocked that Ian settled for Valaria, but with a sister like that?”
Adeline got up, screeching her chair against the floor and shot a look at the pair. “My sister’s not available,” she said coldly as she walked past their table. The two froze in their seats, as if they thought they were going to be her next murders.
* * * * *
Lights and flowers were strung all over the event space. It was the most beautiful ceremony other than the rats in the rafters.
Two of Valaria’s bridesmaids stood gossiping in the corner. “I heard Ian used to beat his mother. What do you think is going to happen to Valaria?”
“I never liked him.” She stood with her plate from the cheese platter and took a sip of wine.
Disgusting. Ian had never laid a hand on their mother. And how could they go through with the wedding if they thought-
“Adeline!” Valaria ran up, and gave her a huge hug. They had only met once before, but Valaria was the sweetest girl, and Ian always talked so highly of her. “I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Hey.” Ian hugged her from behind. “Long time, no see.”
“Well, I’d visit more if you didn’t live somewhere so boring.” she teased. It really had been too long. Little Ian. All grown up.
“Well actually, we wanted a larger space, so we were planning on moving.” Ian smiled.
“We’re pregnant.” Valaria whispered excitedly into her ear. “No one knows yet. We wanted you to be the first.” She smiled from ear to ear.
Everyone knows. I’m the last. Adeline pulled herself together, and smiled back. “You two will be wonderful parents.” she said, and she meant it.
“Okay. Well, I have to throw the bouquet, but we’ll talk later, okay?” She ran off.
“You wanna see if you can catch the flowers?” Her brother nudged her.
“Please.” Adeline said, rolling her eyes.
The peonies flew through the air, over a crowd of screaming girls. “Ahh! I caught it!” That was Evelie’s voice.
“Oh joy. Another wedding.” Adeline said dryly, and the two of them laughed.
The night passed, and Adeline sat at the table, sipping a glass of champagne. She wasn’t the dancing type, but Evelie was partying it up on the dance floor. Adeline needed a break. She got up, and strolled out of the building, taking in the cold night air. Crack. A twig snapped behind her, and she stopped in her tracks. She heard another footstep, and she swirled around, knocking the man in the face. He stumbled back, and she ran, not turning to check if he was okay. She heard the rats skittering around in the moonlight. She wanted to step on one, killing it with her heel.
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2 comments
Reedsy Critiquer here... The story starts well and progresses well, to the point where you keep thinking, "Oh, something cool is gonna happen." There are a few awkward places that would simply flow better if the correct punctuation was used. Commas or periods are inappropriately used in a few sentences that involve dialogue. To catch these errors, I would suggest reading your story out loud to yourself after your revisions. So, I waited for something cool to happen and it never did. The story ends suddenly, leaving the reader going, "W...
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It's a good read, though I don't really understand the ending- it seems very sudden in my opinion, especially compared to the steady pace of the rest of the story. I do like the way the lady at the start talks to them, I would not like it if I arrived at a town to find that someone already (at least acted like they) knew everything about me. I don't like this little bit: 'They were all gossips.' I feel like you didn't need that seeing as scene is doing a great job at showing us that they are all gossips, so this just seems a bit pointless. ...
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