Elber T .Wise

Elber was dead. He knew that. He had known that for a long time. He also knew that going to the mortal realm was hard. Not hard to enter. But hard to be pulled in by people he knew, their familiar emotions, and watch them die, one by one. But he went. And still does. Why? No one knows why. Just that he does. Every day, without fail a ghost will go from the realm of the dead to that of the living. And every day, it is the same ghost. Elber T. Wise.

Elber was watching the cars go by with great pleasure. He enjoyed this. Not the watching, of course. But what came after. He would look for a Volkswagen (preferably blue), and then would look at the cars around it. Once he found one near the Volkswagen that had young children in it, he would go in the car, focus till he turned solid, and gently punch one of the children in the arm, and gleefully yell “slug bug!” Then, he would watch as chaos ensued as the child who had been punched blamed the child next to them, while the other insisted to their parents that they hadn't done anything.

Elber enjoyed this greatly, especially when one of the parents had been watching the children when it happened, and plainly had no idea what had just occurred. Elber had been taught this game by an older ghost from the 1970s. The ghost had never been interested in entering the mortal realm, but was always waiting to listen to Elber about how many Volkswagen's had been found, and the events of each car's personal catastrophe. Today, Elber had found a car with seven children in it, which didn't happen often.even better, there were four children sitting next to each other in the back row, and Elber took great pleasure in punching no less than three of the four, leaving the last one insisting that he didn't do anything, and how could he have without Maria noticing as he leaned over to punch Suzanne. As he recalled these details gleefully to the older ghost (have we not told you what his name is yet? Oh. Well, it's Henry), Henry laughed at all the right parts. He also shuddered when Elber told Henry about the child who had been constantly crying because she hadn't had a diaper change in no less than four hours. Henry also had a few stories of his own to tell, some of which Elber felt may have been exaggerated just a teeny bit. Especially the one that ended with him saving New York from a particularly vicious cat, whose size seemed to be a few hands larger everytime Henry mentioned it. Elber enjoyed pointing this out to Henry, who then started trying to explain that it was growing at rapid rates, and could have been as tall as the Statue of Liberty if he hadn't caught it. Elber did not believe this. But soon, he would have a story as grand as Henry’s to tell. He didn't know it, but he would.

Elber got up the next morning, ready to run into the living world to cause chaos. He said goodbye to Henry, promising he'd be back with a good story. As he floated above the traffic looking for Volkswagens, he hummed “Ghostly Hauntings”, a song Henry had made up and always seemed to get stuck in Elbers head. Just as he reached the third verse of the song, he spotted a red Volkswagen, conveniently near a large van full of children. Perfect. Elber swooped towards the van, and looked inside. There was a girl who seemed to be around the age of ten with long braids, a snotty-faced boy, and a small girl wearing a dress with butterflies on it, her hair in pigtails. She had a rather lost expression on her face, as though she didn't quite know why she was there. Elber decided he didn't want her to take the blame, so he decided to lightly punch her and the snotty-faced boy, leaving the ten year old girl (who was now looking at her phone) to take the blame. When the Volkswagen was within view from the van's window, he screeched “slug bug!” and attempted to punch the two children. He successfully hit the snotty faced boy. But his arm went right through the little girl in the butterfly dress.

He pulled his arm back in shock. This had never happened before! He hadn't failed to go solid, the boy had clearly been hit and was now telling his dad that “Imelda hit me!” What had happened?! The girl looked at him, and promptly said ”why are you floating?” This was even more shocking. Elber was racing through the possibilities in his mind. No human had ever been able to see him before let alone talk to him. And his arm had gone right through her. So she had to be…“A ghost!” Elber exclaimed. “You're a ghost!” She stared right at him. “Who are you?” she said. ”Why can you hear me?” Looking at her, Elber realized for the first time that she must only be four or five years old. She must be dead, he thought. Dead, but she didn't realize it yet. She must be so confused, the poor thing, not knowing why no one could see or hear her.

He felt a sudden rush of pity, remembering how Henry had found him when he had died. He had been equally confused. But this girl was so young she didn't know anyone who had died. It was then that Elber decided to help her. ”I can hear you because I'm dead. I'm a ghost. And so are you. My name is Elber. What's your name? ”he asked. “Elsie,” she said shakily.

“Hello, Elsie. I think you might have gotten a bit mixed up. This is the mortal realm, where living people live. But you're dead. You should be in the realm of the dead. Do you know anyone who's dead?” “No” she whispered.”My mama told me it would be a long, long time before I die.Where is she?” Elber contemplated this for a moment. This girl shouldn't have had to die so soon. But she did. There was nothing he could do about that. ”I don't know where your mama is,” he said. “But I can bring you somewhere where there are people who can touch and hear you. And I can teach you how to make your voice heard to mortals, how to make it so they can feel your touch.”

Elsie considered his words. After a long silence, she nodded. “All right then.” Elber said. “You'll be able to come back, and someday you might even be able to find your mama. But you have to believe it to enter the realm of ghosts. Really believe that it exists. ”Elsie nodded. Elber had never considered it when he switched between realms everyday. But it was what Henry had told him when he took Elber to the ghost realm, and he had no trouble believing that there was a better world after death. It had just clicked in his brain. “Okay. Now we go up.” “Just up?”

“Yes. Straight up.” Elsie nodded again, and they started to float up, until a blinding light became too bright for them to not close their eyes. (Elber had always found it highly ironic that the way to go between realms was to see the ‘light at the end of the tunnel.Maybe people who had near-death experiences were right.) Then the light started to fade again, and they found themselves in the realm of the ghosts. Henry was waiting on the porch, probably assuming Elber was ready to join him for lemonade and stories of human children's reactions to ‘slug bug’. 

Elber wondered how he would react to him bringing back a small girl instead. “Who's that with you Elber?” Henry said. Elber paused. He wasn't sure how Elsie wanted to be introduced. She seemed rather shy, though she had just died and discovered what happened after death; most people would have some kind of shift after that.

He decided to be casual. ”This is Elsie,” he said. “She just died, and I found her in a human's car. Alright if she stays here a bit while I show her how to be a ghost? I'm afraid it means we'll have to miss our afternoon chat.” “Of course,” said Henry ,“though I must say I never expected you of all people to bring back a new ghost.” “Ha ha,” Elber said sarcastically. “Well, Elsie, you wanna find out how to prank humans?” Elsie smiled slightly. “No, I wanna prank you!” she declared gleefully. Henry looked up with an amused expression on his face.

“You wanna team up to get Elber, Elsie?” Elsie looked up with a look of pure malice on her face, as she nodded gleefully.

The next few months went by in blurs. Elsie proved to be a quick learner, figuring out how to make herself solid within the first week. This led to a delightful prank (at least in Elber's eyes) on Henry. Elsie had been translucent as she always had been, and as Henry waved his arm through her (something he had always done to annoy her, telling her that it was motivation for her to learn to become solid), he found himself bounced to the side as she solidified while Henry was mid-swing. Elber had made sure to congratulate her on that one, hoping to stay on her good side.

Eventually, Elsie started to join Elber on his trips to the human realm. She greatly enjoyed playing “slug bug” on the human children, and developed a fondness of finding the naughtiest, most repulsive children and making sure they were “caught”. But on one of their trips, while they were floating over traffic looking for Volkswagens, she stopped. “What's wrong?” Elber asked.

“My mother,” Elsie gasped, tears streaming down her face. “It’s my mother,” Elber looked down. There, on the streets, was a woman with soft brown hair, a long tan coat and a yellow shirt underneath walking down the street smiling serenely. Elsie plummeted down towards her, making herself solid as she shot into her mothers arms. Her mother seemed surprised (which was quite understandable; an invisible force had just rammed into her). Elsie swooped around her, making her voice heard as she shouted “Mama! Mama, it's me!”, tears still flowing from her face. “Elsie?” her mother said, clearly shocked by what was happening. “Mama, mama, mama, it's me! I'm here, I miss you so much!” “But how…oh no matter. Elsie, my dear sweet Elsie… I love you so, so much. “

Elber watched as they continued, finally reuniting. Once they were done talking, and Elsie had (mostly) explained what was going on, that yes, she was dead, and yes, she was happy, he swooped down to introduce himself to Elsie's mother.

He explained that they could not stay, but that they could visit regularly. Elsie’s mother was rather shocked by all this, but seemed happy and positively overcome with joy by the fact that she could speak with her daughter again. And at the end of the day, when they returned to the realm of the dead, Elsie seemed different. Like she was finally content. And oh, how different she was from the little ghost he had first found huddled up in that car. And months later, when Henry and Elber offered to welcome Elsie to stay in their home officially, she said yes. And they were a family. A family that argued, a family that had troubles, but undoubtedly a happy family. And Elber T. Wise finally had a story.

                                                          The end