Returning Home

Terra lay slumped over her desk with the phone in her hand buzzing from the alarm. She jumped up startled by the noise thinking she was late for work. Then she realized it was 8pm, not 8am.  Terra walked over to her bed only to fall forward landing on her arms and letting her face sink into the comforter when the alarm went off again. Looking at her phone, she realized she was still late, but for her date. Terra was tired, truly exhausted. She had been working extra hours to finish up a project before she left for the holidays. And for the last three weeks she had been going on blind dates, social dates, work dates, or volunteer activities every night. She began to think she just couldn’t do it tonight. She had been trying to meet someone since she broke up with Ryan. She and Ryan realized months before the breakup they were not compatible but stayed together to make it work. After finally breaking up they both felt so relieved, but Terra just wanted to take time for herself. That was fine at first, but after six months with the holidays approaching, Terra was starting to feel lonely. She started going on blind dates hoping to find a Thanksgiving boyfriend. Now, Christmas was approaching, and she was just exhausted. 

           “No more blind dates”, she grumbled with her face in the covers. That was it, she had decided. She texted the blind date to say sorry she couldn’t make it, to please forgive her and told him the best of future endeavors. Now with an evening to herself, she would start packing for her trip home so she wouldn’t be rushed.  In just two days she would head back to Shokieaston, North Carolina over 900 miles away. She would miss the resources of Chicago, but looked forward to the simplicity of Shokieaston where there was no public transportation, malls, crowed sidewalks, nor sky-scraping buildings. Things were different there, but the peace of mind tugged at Terra.

           Terra began to regret that she agreed to work half a day before her flight. She knew the last day at work would be hectic. She was distracted looking at the clock and trying to focus on her work. With only a few minutes to spare she finalized the project and submitted it to her boss. Terra hurriedly packed her things, hugged a friend, and ran through the office shouting, “Merry Christmas and see you in the new year.” 

She was able to retrieve her luggage before exiting the building thanks to her friends in security who stored them for her. It didn’t take long to catch a taxi during this time of year in downtown Chicago; they were everywhere. After getting through the baggage, security, ticketing, and food lines, Terra was finally sitting on the plane and in the air. She thought the flight would be relaxing but instead her flight had a screaming toddler behind her, a reclined seat in front of her, a non-stop talker on her left and a space hog to her right. She couldn’t wait to land, get a rental car and head to Shokieaston. Shokieaston was so remote that the airport was over 70 miles away. Many of Terra’s family members had passed away. She would go by to see Aunt Mathese, Uncle Davy, and her pastors, Bishop Jeelay and First Lady Mariel, and maybe see a few cousins. She hadn’t spoken with them in almost a year and seen them in three years since Uncle Vestess’ funeral. The family drama sent her running back to Chicago not looking back. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the pilot announcing they were approaching their destination. Terra was anticipating her exit. She had to collect her other bags and get to the rental department. She was going to the hotel a mile away. Terra didn’t want to drive home in the dark and planned to stay near the airport until morning. The stay at the local hotel gave her a chance to unwind. She dined at the hotel restaurant and had a good night’s sleep. 

Early the next morning Terra gathered her carryon and headed for the rental. Thankfully, she would not have to stay with family, a hotel nor a BnB in Shokieaston. She owned a home her parents left her that she rented out as an Air BnB when she wasn’t staying there. The road to Shokieaston was a busier this time of year but for the most part it was an easy drive. The closer Terra got to home memories began to rush back. She passed the home where an ex-boyfriend stayed with his aunt. Donovan was the one Terra never got over and the one she would never admit that about. After community college he moved back to Grentington. They dated when Terra was in high school. Donovan wasn’t ready to be in a relation but his love for Terra led him to try it. He really cared a lot about her, too much to hurt her. He broke up with Terra, telling her the truth, that he wanted to see other people and that he wasn’t ready for the type of relationship she wanted. He told her she deserved someone who would put her needs above theirs and as long as they were together, he would never cheat on her, but he just wasn’t happy. He didn’t want to stay in contact with her because he really did love her, and it would be painful. He felt that he would have to hide dates from her. Sometimes, Terra thought she would have preferred that he lied to her. The problem was she still loved Donovan. Terra was a freshman and Donovan was a senior and a basketball star in high school when they dated.  She was an avid supporter of the basketball team, never missed a game. Most of this had to do with Donvan, but she genuinely liked basketball.

Terra was finally home. She turned into the driveway and pulled up to the lockbox to retrieve the garage remote. Memories flooded her again as she walked into the house. She wasn’t carried away with them as much considering she had updated the home to accommodate the BnB. Terra walked through her home and then went back for her luggage. After getting settled she decided she needed groceries. She went to the local Supercenter to shop. She wondered who she would run into first. Sure enough, someone to her left called out, “Terra”?

Terra surprisingly said, “yes”, as she turned to see Bishop Jeelay.

“Hi, Terra. It’s good to see you. How are you?”, Bishop Jeelay said as he hugged her. 

           “I’m doing good, Bishop. How are you?”, Terra smiled. 

           “I hope I’ll see you at service?”, Bishop Jeelay probed.

           “Yes, I actually look forward to it. Tell First Lady I said hi. How is she?”, Terra replied. 

           Bishop Jeelay exclaimed, “Good, I look forward to seeing you. She is doing good and she’s going to love seeing you. Make sure to stop by and chat after service.”

           “I will”, said Terra. The bishop hugged Terra again before walking away. It was Bishop Jeelay’s teaching along with her mother’s teaching about God that allowed for her to search to know God more intimately. With knowing God more intimately, Terra’s convictions were more intimate which is what really led to Donovan not being ready for a relationship with no sexual relations until marriage. Terra had strayed away from her intimacy with God but held her convictions to heart. She went on shopping, finding people she knew and a few of them she would stop to conversate with. The shopping was done. She dreaded the family meet and greet but thought why not get it out of the way. Having groceries in the car ensured that she wouldn’t have to stay long. She headed to Uncle Davy’s house first and next she visited Aunt Mathese’s home. There happened to be a few other cousins there, but it was great to see them all. Terra said that she would see them again while she was home. That was enough for her in one day. She returned home to relax with dinner and a movie, something she hadn’t done in a long while. The next morning, Terra decided spend the day Christmas shopping. The next morning, Terra dressed for church. It was different than when she last attended. She had not experienced such a presence of God in a long time. She became overwhelmed in worship and tears filled her eyes. She missed her time with God. She had sat close to the front when an usher came and asked her to let someone in. Terra instead just slid down, and the usher stepped aside to let the person take his place. Terra stared in disbelief. Her mouth hung open for a second before she realized she was staring and speechless. She quickly said hi and turned to the front. At this time everyone began to sit as did Terra and the person beside her. Terra became flushed and signaled for the usher asking her for a bottle of water. Regaining her composure, she attended to the pastor delivering the message. She was occasionally distracted by thoughts like, what is he doing here, why is he sitting here, he moved back to Grentington, and didn’t even like going to church. After service ended, Donovan turned to Terra and asked her how she had been. Terra responded but without thinking asked him what he was doing there. Terra caught her rudeness and apologized. She attempted to correct herself when Donovan interrupted, “It’s okay. I moved back here four years ago to take care of my aunt. She passed away this year and left me the house. I just didn’t want to leave. I like it here and I have been attending church here for the last two years. After about six months, I gave my life to God. I can see why you were so committed now. “

           Terra replied, “uh, yeah. Okay, it was nice seeing you. I want to go catch Bishop Jeelay and his wife. Take care.” Terra ran off as quickly as she could without really breaking out into a run. She wondered why she was upset with him. He had not said or committed any offense towards her. The anger began to rush Terra so quickly that she turned to quickly move towards a restroom to compose herself before visiting with the pastors.  After composing herself, Terra moved towards the front where the pastors had a few people surrounding them. Terra stood and patiently waited for her turn. First Lady Mariel noticed Terra standing with her head down at the time. 

           “Terra, oh my dear it is so good to see you”, she exclaimed. First Lady Mariel rushed over to Terra grabbing her into a hug and asking her how she was doing at the same time. Terra began to conversate with her as Bishop Jeelay came in for a hug and joined in the conversation. This was a good time to present them both with their gifts. They were surprised and thanked Terra. They also explained they were having a family dinner that evening and wanted her to join them. Terra remembered the family dinners they had, and they were the best. She accepted the invitation happily. She looked forward to the food, fellowship, and the fun. Terra headed home to get comfortable and ventured back out to the bishop’s sister’s home where the dinner would be. When she came up, the family greeted her excitedly and welcomed her into the home. Many of the church members were there as well. Terra had brought two cakes and two cases of lemon tea she grabbed from the store after church. They had dinner first before the games started. While they were eating, people continued to come by. Terra heard a familiar voice and looked up to see Donovan entering the room. The only empty seat happened to be at the table where Terra was. So, those serving fixed him a plate that he carried over to the empty seat right beside Terra. Terra returned his greeting but tried to quickly finish her food without looking greedy or nervous. She just couldn’t understand why she was feeling this way with him. Back in Chicago, dating never felt this way. She just didn’t know what to do. Thankfully her pastors were sitting there at the table across and beside her and began to make conversation with them both. They asked Terra about life in Chicago, about her job, and about visiting her family. They also asked her about churches in Chicago. Terra explained that she held to her convictions and her faith but had not found a home church in Chicago. She attended some churches sometimes, but none felt at home for her. She admitted that she missed church was really looking forward to visiting church. Terra was sitting beside Donovan and would not dare let on that Chicago was not all that she desired right now. She made everything that was asked of her sound wonderful, her job and all. Bishop Jeelay, being the anointed man of God that he is, began to speak into Terra’s life. He said, “Terra, God is telling me that you haven’t been happy for a long time. The job that you love is not fulfilling any more. You have been exhausted from the busy life of Chicago, and church isn’t the only thing you were looking forward to. You were looking forward to coming back to the simple life of Shokieaston. The truth be told, you know that God has been tugging at your heart lately. You thought it was loneliness, but you were searching for a boyfriend instead of searching for a relationship with God. God wants to rekindle your relationship with Him.” Tears began to fall down Terra’s eyes. It didn’t matter that Donovan was sitting next to her anymore. She was overwhelmed by what Bishop Jeelay had told her. It was all true, whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not. Terra began to sob deeply. Someone grabbed her a tissue and First Lady Mariel reached over and held her. Bishop Jeelay stood behind her and began to pray for her. Terra was caught totally off guard. Bishop Jeelay began to tell her again, “You have a decision to make.” When you go back to Chicago, it’s not going to be the same. Talk with God and he will give you clear directions. He wants to use you for his glory. If you trust him, he will make full provisions for you.” The rest of the day was a little easier. Even conversation with Donovan became easier after that. Terra didn’t focus on him as much now. It wasn’t until later when she was about to leave, that things got a little tricky. He told her he would walk her out. Outside, by her car Donovan asked her was she really looking for a boyfriend. Terra wouldn’t lie, so she told him she was, but it just didn’t seem very important anymore. Donovan explained that he wasn’t seeing anyone right now and would love to see her again while she was in town. Terra didn’t see any reason to turn down his offer. She knew she would return to Chicago, so she just thought it would be entertaining while she was in Shokieaston. Terra spent Christmas day visiting family. The next few days following she spent a lot of time with Donovan. New Year’s Day was the day that it really hit her that she would return to Chicago soon and her feelings for Donovan had grown. But she tried to stick to her beliefs that it was just fun. 

           When Terra returned to Chicago, the words that Bishop Jeelay spoke rang in her ears. She missed Donovan and she dreaded going to work more than ever.  Terra’s boss called her into the office to tell her that the company was bought out by a merger, and she was being replaced. They gave her a nice severance payout. When she returned home, she had a letter under her door from the building manager that it was time to renew her contract. Lastly, she had a call from the company that managed her home, as the BnB informing her that they were closing, and she would have to find another company to manage her home. Terra, thought what was happening? And the word Bishop Jeelay spoke rang again. 

           “God, I hear you loud and clear. This has to be you. I just didn’t expect things to happen so quick.”, Terra spoke to God aloud. But for the first time in a long time Terra felt hope and happiness. She had expectations. She began to pack. She prepared for her move back to Chicago.   In a week’s time, Terra’s belongings were on the way to Shokieaston with her vehicle in tow. Terra was on a plane back home. She had been back home two days when Donovan called. He expressed how he felt. He was sorry that he ever let her get away, but still felt he made the best decision because he never would have wanted to hurt her. But he said he honestly still loved her just as much if not more now that he understands what it really means to love. He told her that he didn’t know how it would work with her in Chicago, but he just knew he wanted a chance to have a relationship with her. He expressed he would never hurt her and he now wanted the type of relationship she wanted.

           “Donovan?”, Terra interrupted. “I love you too. Truth is I never stopped loving you. I’m home. I’m back to stay. I want to try again too”, Terra explained.