My Ma

I’m sitting on the kitchen floor, watching the maggots. The maggots live in the trash can, but they got out and plopped down in front of my hands. I touched one and it twisted over. We don’t usually have the maggots but it’s hot. The maggots like it when it’s hot. 

My Ma comes in and looks down on me. She looks angry. She opens the bin and makes a funny noise. I stand up and look over the edge of the bin. There’s a lot of old dark, wet and furry food. And a lot of maggots. Ma gets rid of the food. And the maggots. 

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Ma and Daddy were shouting at each other last night. Daddy said Ma had changed. Ma was crying. He came and gave me a kiss and said he would come and get me later. He went out, making a big bang. I haven’t seen him since. 

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In the afternoon Ma I went to the park. There were big piles of brown leaves that looked like paper. I was wearing my big coat and scarf, but I had a cold head. Ma usually brings my hat when we go to the park but not today. She gave me her hat but it was a bit too big for me. She laughed and gave me a kiss. She said we needed to go back to the car but we went for a walk around the streets until it got a bit dark. Then Ma decided to phone a man who came to pick us up and took us home. The old paper leaves were falling all around us like rain. 

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Yesterday was my birthday. We had a party with my friends. Ma made me a cake with lots of candles and my friends gave me presents. Ma always makes a cake when it’s someone’s birthday. The parents of my friends were there but Ma was too busy to talk to them. In the evening my friend Lizzy stayed over. The next day Ma said the girl with the red hair had to go home, which was weird because she knows her name is Lizzy. Lizzy went home and then Daddy came to pick me up. I get to see him every other week since last year. 

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Auntie Jill came over to talk to Daddy. My Auntie Jill is Ma’s little sister. I could hear them talking downstairs about Ma, but I didn’t understand. They were saying something about my Ma and money. This morning Ma came to pick me up. In the car home she was angry about Auntie Jill. She said that she wasn’t on her side. I’m not sure what she meant but Ma seemed upset. Ma got a bit lost so it took us a long time to get home. At home I remembered I had left my bag at Daddy’s.

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Ma made a cake for Daddy as it was his birthday. She invited him around for tea but he did not want to come so we ate the cake instead. Ma said the cake tasted funny because she had forgotten to put salt in. I liked it anyway. 

Auntie Jill came over to talk to Ma about something. They went into the kitchen so I couldn’t hear what they were saying. After Auntie Jill came out of the kitchen they both looked a bit tired. I offered Auntie Jill some of the cake, but Ma told her not to try it. Auntie Jill tried it and Ma told  her about the salt. Auntie Jill looked quite serious. I don’t think she liked the cake. 

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Lizzy came over today today to play. We drew pictures together with my new crayons. I drew the Sun and Lizzy drew a rainbow. Ma thought the Sun was a dead flower which made me laugh. She said she will put my picture on the fridge to make the kitchen brighter. After dinner she asked me what my picture was of. She said it looked like a star and she is right because the Sun is a star. 

After dinner we were allowed to stay up and watch a film. Ma cleaned the kitchen and emptied the bin. She went outside but then did not come back inside. We did not hear Ma at all for a long time, so we thought she was playing hide and seek. We stopped watching the film looked around the whole house. We could not find her, even outside. It was very dark and I was a bit scared. Lizzy said we should go inside and carry on watching the film and maybe Ma would come back. After the film we went to the kitchen and ate some milk with cereal. It was later than I had ever stayed up. Lizzy and I went to sleep on the sofa to wait for Ma to come back. 

Ma came back in the night with Daddy. Daddy looked scared and Ma looked confused. Daddy said his neighbour had seen Ma walking around in the street holding a bag of trash and thought it looked funny. It didn’t sound very funny to me. 

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Auntie Jill came over this morning looking very serious. She and Daddy were by the front door. They were whispering. Daddy had a frown and kept closing his eyes and nodding. Auntie Jill went into the kitchen to speak to Ma but they sounded angry. Daddy wanted to play with me in the living room but it wasn’t fun because Ma and Auntie Jill were upset. After a bit, they came out of the kitchen and said they needed to go to the doctor for Ma. I was a bit worried but she said she was ok. 

After coming back from the Doctor, Auntie Jill looked really really sad. Ma didn’t look like anything at all. Daddy, Auntie Jill and Ma went into the kitchen and I heard Auntie Jill crying. 

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Yesterday was my Birthday again and Dad bought me a cake from a shop in town. I’ve been spending more time with him recently as he and Auntie Jill said it would be best for me. My friends were here earlier but they went home in the afternoon. After everyone was gone, Ma walked around to pick me up. She said she walks because she enjoys the fresh air, but she hasn’t been driving anywhere much recently. Auntie Jill and Dad said she shouldn’t.  

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I went walking with Ma to the park today. It’s been really cold recently so I took my hat and scarf. There was a man in the park sweeping away the piles of dead leaves. Mum had left her hat at home that day, so I took my scarf and wrapped it around her head. We took a picture of her because she looked quite funny. Then Ma said that Dad would be coming over at lunchtime today as there was something very important they wanted to talk to me about. 

I asked Ma what they wanted to talk about, but she said she couldn’t remember.