The Bugattie Senator

(Note: This story contains references to the MeToo movement.)

"Let's go for a walk," said Senator Feinbees, clutching his folio in his arm. 

"Why? Where are we going?" said Senator Laten, appearing to anticipate a hard conversation.

"Let's just walk."

Suddenly Laten's perspective on life shifted. Often, living life seemed to be a little journey, some myopic quest in which the outer significance of the situation had little to do with the inner stressors of just being alive. Laten never thought that he'd be called out. he wasn't expecting a trip down memory lane. But what was it? What was it about this week that seemed so peculiar to him in this way? 

It started on Sunday. He'd slept through his alarm. But this Sunday wasn't a regular Sunday. His wife had been invited to one of her coworker's weddings. They barely made it on time. She gave him the evil eye, but that seemed to be the end of it.

On Monday, another Senator yelled at him when he was giving his argument on the floor. He was talking about the budget for the Committee on Finance, which was set to meet later on in the month for its inaugural speech session. 

Then, there was Tuesday. The news of the HoBlac Massacre hit the headlines. Senators were especially prickly about the implications the event would have on their security clearances (security clearances can be a major deal when you sit at a desk all day). 

Wednesday was "Hump Day." But not just any Hump Day. It was the day when Laten had it finished. There it was: Senator Laten's memoir - the third in a long series - ready for the presses. He had not only lived his life; he had lived it in a way that his memories would mean something to someone else. Always happy to be of service, Laten jumped at the opportunity of chronicling his journey through three decades of politics. 

Who was Senator Feinbees, anyway, to think that he could just shuffle him along like a puppy on a trip to the vet. Hadn't Laten earned more respect? Couldn't he at least get the seat with the open window? This would be a walk, not a ride. Laten's back issues were already flaring up in anticipation of a bumpy experience. 

Senator Feinbees led Senator Laten out of the Congressional building and onto the main streets of Washington DC. They knew the area intimately, from years of travel. But it was even more foreign to them, in a way. Damned if Senator Feinbees wasn't the more popular Senator of the two of them, despite having come onto the scene five years after Laten. Oh, what did it take to be popular, finally?

"When are we going to stop walking?"

"I just wanted you to get some lung work in."

"What is it? What's happened?"

"You know, it's really hard for me to say this."

"What? Say what? You can tell me. I'm trustworthy."

"No, it's not that. It's just...I don't want to break a good friendship."

"No, what is this about?"

"You didn't think I wouldn't find out, did you?"

At this point, Laten wasn't thinking of himself. He thought of the implications: Earth-shattering implications. Whatever it was, he was going to have to fess up or fess out. He didn't have time to think. Thinking would only make him look more guilty. He admitted his ignorance.

"Find out what?"

"Find out what? That you had a MeToo conviction."

"A MeToo conviction?"

Senator Feinbees pulled out a newspaper that he had been hiding under his folio, embarrassed to let anyone see the words. 

"I have a MeToo conviction?" 

Laten looked at the headline of the paper. First-page news. It read: "Laten's Youthful Indiscretions."

Laten was taken aback as he read the words, unable to process it all. 

"Yes, but..."

"But what?"

"But I was thirteen."

Senator Feinbees straightened his glasses and looked a little harder at Laten, trying to assess the situation. See if it was true.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, did you do it? Are you guilty?"

"I told you. The paper says it happened in the year 2001, right after the tech bubble burst. I was thirteen at the time. I couldn't have been expected to..."

Just then, Senator Laten saw a car drive by with four young, healthy college students sitting inside. Laten thought of his own youth. Those had been fun times. He had done his own share of partying as a youth, gotten into so many snafus that he was beginning to build up a reputation as a wild man. Some times, he would party just to get his mind off the stressors of life. At the time, he had no idea that he'd be a Senator, much less successor to the ever-popular Mark Benchor out of Dark Heights. 

"This isn't a game, Laten. This is serious."

"How is it serious? I remember that day. I didn't break any laws."

"Look. Look here. The article says that you looked at a woman's breasts. You looked at a woman's breasts, for God's sake!"

"Yes? I was young. My hormones were running wild back then."

"You have to understand that things like this don't go over well in today's environment. 

"That's probably why I did it over thirty-five years ago."

"You - you're not getting the point. You have to make restitution."

"Restitution? Go back in time?"

"Put out a statement. Tell the public that you've mended your ways."

"From looking at a woman's breasts? How can this even be real?"

"Look, I don't make the rules. I just follow them."

"You never looked at a woman's body as a young boy?"

To this, Senator Feinbees was silent. It seemed impossible that any person could make it to adulthood without upsetting a woman in some way. Laten noticed a distance that had sprung up between them. They were no longer thinking on the same wavelength.

"Look, I'm not trying to make a scene here."

"You have to make amends."

"How? It was almost forty years ago. I was a kid."

"Give up your Senate seat. Don't accept re-election."

"Are you crazy? I have a family! They'll be devastated!"

"You're going to wish you'd gotten out in front of this when the strap-storm really gets started."

Laten was flabbergasted. All he could think about was his family. What would they all think? What would they say? What would he do, now that the story had broken? It was a case of the unblindingly deserted freedom. Laten got himself together and then made a statement to the media the following day. It was lights, camera, action.