Luckiest Girl

TW: suicide

I woke up last Monday excited for what my week had in store for me. The sun was already shining bright and the birds were singing their happiest, melodic tunes. I looked over at my clock placed perfectly on my nightstand so that I could always see the time directly from bed without moving too much and it glared a vibrant 7:15 am. I usually lie awake in bed until the clock pushes close to 8:00 am but today I had no time to waste.

The past five years I had worked so hard to be noticed at work and finally get the big promotion I had celebrated with so many others year after year. The promotion I knew I was due and it was finally my time to shine. Before I left work last Friday, My boss told me first thing Monday morning that he wanted to meet with me because he had some news to share. My boss, Johnathan Hyde Jr., also known as the son of the CEO of the fortune 500 company I worked for, wasn't big on talking and private one-on-one meetings so I knew this had to be something big.

I jumped out of bed, hit the radio button on my alarm clock and danced my way into the bathroom to begin getting ready for my big day. After showering, hair, makeup and slipping on my lucky little black dress I was almost ready to go. I stepped out of my room and was greeted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee, as always Winter had beat me up and out the door. Winter was my roommate from college and we grew into best friends over the years and had pretty much always lived together ever since.

 Winter was everything I was not; outgoing, drop dead gorgeous, generous and so much more. I'll never forget the first day Winter walked into our dorm room. I looked up from unpacking and looked into these large light brown eyes with the slightest twinkle of light in them. Her skin was the prettiest shade of brown, it reminded me of the Werther's original caramel candies I ate as a kid. Her golden dyed dreads hung slightly below her slender shoulders and perfectly complemented the nose ring she wore. It wasn't hard to fall in love with Winter, she was truly one of the most beautiful people I had ever met inside out. I always used to wonder why her parents named her Winter when she embodied the sun of a summer sky.

Winter was inspiration in its most pure form, or as I always teased her, she was walking luck. She was always on the dean's list in school, guys were always asking her out on dates and her parents absolutely adored everything about her. I was lucky to have her as my  best friend.

Anyway, ever since college we always joked with each other about one day I would beat her out of bed and out the door for work because she was such a go-getter and early riser that I never got to make her coffee in the almost eight years we had lived together.

I thought I had finally beat her today but sure enough there was a note on the coffeemaker that simply read, “Next time, haha” with a little signature snowflake only Winter could draw.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and headed out the door, ready to hear the good news, my good news, at work.

Work wasn't too far from Winter and I’s apartment so I decided to make a quick stop at my favorite bakery. It was a little out of the way but thanks to my amazing roommate I wouldn't have to wait in the coffee line, I could simply grab my favorite muffin and keep it moving. I found this particular bakery by accident a year ago. It was a Sunday early evening and I had gotten a pretty upsetting phone call. My mother had been in a horrible car accident  and my dad called to deliver the news.

My parents are my everything and vice versa because it was always just the three of us my entire childhood.

I could hear the fear in my dad's voice and he was a man that was so strong and never afraid of anything. I knew he was scared of losing my mom, his wife, his best friend, but he was trying to hold it together for my sake.

My parents lived about eight hours from me so because of what had just happened my dad didn't want me driving and it would be the next day before I could catch a flight out.

After hanging up with my dad I hadn't realized just how far I had walked and saw this little brick cottage shaped building. It looked safe and cozy so I decided to go inside  to clean my face up and call Winter to come pick me up.

I walked inside and took note of the glass counter with a few different baked pastries on display.

Judging from the sweet aroma with hints of cinnamon in the air, I knew it was a bakery. 

I guess the owner saw me and noticed I was upset because when I came out of the bathroom to leave she said,

“Excuse me miss.”

I slowly turned around holding my head down and squinting my eyes to keep the warm tears in as I faced her.

“Looks like maybe you could use a warm hug.”

As she began walking towards me all I could think of was I didn't want or need a hug from a complete stranger, I just wanted to leave. As she approached me I saw her extend her hand and in it was a muffin wrapped in cellophane. 

“These are my famous chocolate covered strawberry muffins, whenever I'm having a bad day, these always help it feel just a little better. This one is on the house.”

Not able to hold my tears much longer I took the muffin and ran out of the bakery.

The next day as I was boarding the plane home and got a call from my dad; my mother had died from her injuries.

 I eventually returned to the bakery to thank the owner and shared with her my appreciation of her kindness. Ever since, that was my favorite bakery that I frequented often.

I had finally arrived at work and despite the butterflies I felt in my stomach, I was excited to finally get some much deserved happy news.

As I stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the thirteenth floor, I allowed myself to exhale and think about my new chapter of life...

I didn't even remember driving home; Everything was such a blur but here I was sitting in my bathroom on the cold, hard floor.

My eyes were sore and puffy from all the crying I had done.

I finally felt like I was dry of tears, as dry as what I imagined the desert to be.

I couldn't stop replaying the words that came out of my boss’s mouth,

“Nicole, you have been such a valuable member of our team, but unfortunately we decided to go another way with the promotion. Keep working hard and maybe it will be your time soon.”

I remember running out of his office and finding the steps because the elevator couldn't come fast enough; Now here I was in a place I had been so many times before.

I looked at the pill bottle I was squeezing for dear life, it was a bottle of sleeping pills I had been prescribed when my mother passed but I never took them.

I got up and grabbed a glass off the sink, filled it with water and downed the pills. 

I could hear Winter crying and begging me to please answer her.

I couldn't understand what was going on, I could hear her but she couldn't hear me it seemed.

Just then the light I saw faded into black and I heard my mother telling me it was ok, I could be with her now.

The sound of my mothers voice was so soothing and comforting and I couldn't think of anything else better than being with her once again; And just like that, I was now the luckiest girl in the world.