"Oh, Woe is Me!"

“It’s study period at Milford High School, but Willard isn’t studying. Instead, he is staring wistfully at the back of Barbie Conner’s head, admiring her golden blonde hair shimmering in the afternoon sun as it streams through the window.

Barbie feels a shiver up her spine and turns to her BFF Carol Knottingham.“Is that creep staring at me again? God! I can’t stand it!” After taking a quick peek at Willard, Carol rolls her eyes and nods. Barbie’s hand shoots into the air as she calls out,“Mrs. Perkins! Can I move? Willard’s giving me the creeps!” The classroom erupts in laughter.

Willard lowers his head, his face bright red from embarrassment. Willard Denton is a seventeen-year-old who seems out of place with the rest of the class. He loves old books and history. Willard’s favorite eras are the 12th and 13th centuries of England. He knows everything there is to know about a knight’s armor and the politics of the age. The trouble is, no one—except his family—cares to hear about it.

Barbie Corners is Willard’s Gwendolyn. No one can take her place. She’s the most beautiful girl on the cheerleading team. Willard never misses a game, even though he hates football. They are in the same arts and crafts class, where they are studying photography. Willard always finds a way to include Barbie in his photos, slipping her image into the frame without her ever suspecting. Later, he develops the film, enlarges the pictures, and neatly cuts out her face to add to the private collection he keeps hidden away. Willard is aware that if anyone were to discover his collection, they would think he is a stalker. But Willard thinks of it as more like admiring a movie star or a famous athlete.

Barbie is on the cheerleading team, except it is more of a Mean Girls club. All her friends are just like her, snobs, looking down on junior classmates. One person in particular is Willard Denton. Barbie will clench her fist and growl just thinking of him. She has called him every name in the book but, her personal favorite is Willtard.Everyone laughs when she calls him that.

Of course, someone like Barbie—self-centered and driven by her oversized ego—has to date someone with a status that matches her own. Unfortunately for her, Jeffery Holmes, the football team’s star quarterback, already has a girlfriend. So instead, she settles for Mac Davys, the team’s tight end. He’s tall, well-built, and has those deep, dreamy blue eyes. For appearances’ sake, they make a picture-perfect couple.

What puzzles Willard is that no matter how much Barbie gushes over Mac or clings to him, he seems completely indifferent. To Willard, it feels like Mac would rather be out with the guys than stuck with Barbie. Maybe he just finds her too phony.

It’s the end of October, and time for the seniors’ class trip. This year, they are going to an apple orchard in New Hampshire. There will be apple picking and pumpkin carving during the day. At night, the pumpkins will be lit and displayed for the judges, who are the class chaperones, Mr. Blackwell and Miss Thomas. The night concludes with a romp through the haunted cornfield maze. Of course, Wiiard won’t be going.

…

To keep from moping about Barbie spending the entire day with Mac, Willard decides to go to his favorite shop on Main Street, “The Dusty Old Book Store.” The shop is owned and operated by Phil Green, a mild-mannered man with similar interests to Willards.

When the shop bell jingles, Phil looks up with a broad grin. "Willard! How’ve you been, my friend?”

Willard’s face brightens. “I’m good, Mr. Green. I thought I’d drop by to see if you have anything new.”

Phil’s eyes twinkle as he rubs his palms together. "Come over here, Willard. Have I got something to show you!” Reaching under the counter, he retrieves a small black leather book and lays it gently on the glass top. Willard approaches and bends over to read it. “The Little Black Book of Charms, Spells and Summonings, by the Anonymous Witch.” Willard looks at Phil, “May I?” he gestures toward the book. Phil nods his head. Willard picks up the book, that is not much larger than his left hand. He begins to carefully thumb through the pages, which are as thin as onion paper. After no more than a moment or two, he knits his brow tightly. “I can’t read this. What language is this?”

Phil chuckles. “It’s High Old German. That’s how they wrote to confuse non-practitioners; however, if you look closely, you can see an English translation faintly printed below each verse.“

On closer inspection, Willard sees the translations. "What is it’s worth?” he asks.

Phil shakes his head as he lifts his shoulders. “The price is not the concern here. These incantations date back thousands of years and were compiled into a book. Much later, according to the printing date, this witch had them transcribed and printed into this book. Because the copyright is faded, I’d say it was around the 15th century. I tell you that it’s not for sale, as it’s going into my private collection, now, having said that. If you promise to be very careful, I’ll let you have it for one week to study. Deal?”

Willard gasps and nods his head rapidly. “By the way, Mr. Green, what is the difference between a charm and a spell?”

Phil pauses a moment before he speaks. “ A charm is a magical object used for a specific person. It can represent anything from love to good luck. It is usually small enough to be carried by the intended recipient. You know, like a rabbit’s foot or a four-leaf clover. It can even be something as simple as a coin, a penny, let’s say. A spell, however, is generally a curse. A combination of words that are believed to unleash supernatural powers. You have to be certain to do them correctly because once they’re cast, that’s it.”

…

After a few days, Willard has found what he believes to be the perfect charm for Barbie and the ideal curse for Mac. He digs through all his change until he finds a bright, uncirculated penny and a foul, beat-up, almost unrecognizable one. In his dimly lit bedroom, Willard places the two pennies side by side on his nightstand. The bright one on the right and the dull one on the left, and then slowly pushes them apart.Over the penny meant for Barbie, he recites the charm verse. “Gib mir, heilago Kraft,(Give me, holy Power,) scirm mich fon scalka un fon unheil,( shield me from traitors and from harm,) bi sunna, bi mano, bi sternon, (by sun, by moon, by stars) uuihsa mich mit thinem uuort,(consecrate me with your word.) So sei es. ( So let it be.)” A strange illumination arises from the penny, brightening the entire room before fading back into the coin.

Willard watches wide-eyed and smiles. He wraps the penny very ceremoniously in a piece of tissue paper and sets it aside. Next, he turns to the ugly, filthy coin and intones the curse. “Uuigant sie thin heil, suar si thin huoba, ab uuich sie thin scaph.” (“May your fortune wither, may your home turn heavy with sorrow, and may your destiny be bent against you.”) The coin begins to hum and quiver on the nightstand. In fact, it rattles so hard that Willard is afraid it might fly away and slaps his hand over it. Just as quickly, he pulls it away because it is red hot and leaves a mark on his hand. Willard gingerly picks it up and wraps it in a separate tissue. Tomorrow is the big field trip, and Willard feels ready.

…

Upon entering school, Willard learns that Mac is in the gym with his friends, shooting baskets while waiting to board the bus. Willard slips into the locker room and is about to hide the cursed coin in Mac’s gym bag when he hears someone yell at him. “Hey, creep! What do you think you’re doing?”

Willard whips around, “Nothing! I just thought it looked like this kid’s bag was gonna fall, so I was pushing it back, see? "With that, Willard quickly grabs the coin from his pocket and slips it into the side pouch of the bag.

Upstairs in the classroom, Barbie stands in a corner chatting with her friends as Willard walks by. As he passes her handbag hanging on the back of her chair, he casually slips the charmed penny inside. He then proceeds to sit at his desk with a smug look on his face until his teacher, Mr. Smith, walks up behind him.

“What are you doing here, Denton? I thought you weren’t going on the trip.”

Willard quickly replies, “Oh, I was just retrieving something from my desk.” Then smiles.

…

The weekend seems to drag on forever. Willard is frothing at the bit to find out if his spells worked. When he arrives at school on Monday morning, he senses something unusual in the air. The chatter isn’t all about the fun everyone had, but somewhat subdued and secretive. As Willard walks the near silent halls, he picks up bits and pieces of conversations but not enough to clarify what had taken place. Then suddenly, as if on cue, Mac Davys rounds the corner, surrounded by a gaggle of girls—they are laughing and cooing over every single thing Mac has to say. Willard has never seen him so animated and enjoying himself. To top it off, Mac actually speaks kindly to Willard, “Willard, my man! How ya doin’?” Willard’s jaw drops open as he staggers backward into the lockers. Willard is watching Mac and the girls walk away when he hears the sound of angry footsteps clicking toward him. He looks and sees Carol Knottingham and the crew of mean girls storming past. As they file by, he hears Carol growl, “I don’t care! I’m never speaking to her ever again!” Willard stops Susie, the biggest gossip in the group, and asks, “What happened?” Susie is eager to report. “Well, Carol was talking to this really cute boy, and scoring big points too when, all of a sudden, Barb comes over and starts flirting with him! Carol got so upset that she stormed over to Mac, who was just a few feet away, and said, “Mac! Do you know that your girlfriend is flirting with another guy? "To which Mac replied, “So what? I never really liked the bitch anyway.” Barbie heard him and burst into tears, then ran back to the bus! But, why am I telling this to a creep like you anyway?” Susie runs to catch up with her friends.

Dazed and confused, Willard makes his way to his homeroom, where he sees Barbie sitting all alone. Her cheeks are sunken and her skin ashen. Her eyes are puffy and red, like she’s been crying all weekend. Her unkempt, dirty hair hangs limp as she orders Willard not to look at her. Barbie sobs and turns her face to the wall.

Willard staggers to his desk and flops down. He closes his eyes and tries to trace his steps from the Friday before. He remembers going into the gym locker room to find Mac’s bag, when someone yelled at him just as he was about to put the cursed coin in the gym bag. He had reached into his pocket...Willard’s eyes widen to the size of silver dollars. He claps both hands over his mouth and stifles a gasp. “Oh my God! What have I done? I reached into my right pocket—but that’s where the Barbie coin was! I gave it to Mac by mistake! Oh, woe is me!” Willard slumps in his chair as he recalls what Phil had told him-“Once the spell is cast, it’s done.” “I don’t know how to fix this. I can’t undo it! All is lost.”

Just then, a small, evil thought crosses Willard’s mind. "Perhaps all is not lost. In the days ahead, she is going to need a friend, someone to talk to, to be with.”

Willard stares at Barbie Conners’ blonde, greasy hair shining in the morning sun and grins.