Life May Just Be a Loophole

“Don’t you remember? It was literally yesterday. The first minute of the new year at 12:00 a.m. I thought the world would end when it hit the new millennium, so I told you, my crush, how I felt. We really hit it off and then kissed when it turned into the new year.” said Melaney in confusion. This is not really at all how I thought today would go especially because we are alive and not dead. Instead of the world ending it seems James just forgot about me, and I’m 100% sure he wasn’t drunk. Did he feel bad for me because it was thought to be the end of the world? Because I was so upset that he forgot I just left James standing at the door. 

I went home and also tried my best to forget about James by taking a hot shower, then watching a sad movie while eating a whole tub of ice cream. Today was very chaotic around the world especially because everyone realized that the world wouldn’t be ending and that they would have to move on back to their normal lives. Which meant going back to work tomorrow. 

The next day at work I was asking some of my friends how things went with their New Year's parties and stuff. Some of them did the same as I did and asked out their crushes, but their crushes actually remembered them, unlike James. After such an unmotivating day of work, I didn’t have the energy to sit around and watch tv so I just went straight to bed. 

Today was a fresh day and I wasn’t as unmotivated as yesterday. Once I got to work, I asked my friend again how things were with her new boyfriend and she was surprised to hear that I knew she even had a new boyfriend. I simply said, “You told me yesterday, don’t you remember?” I then realized at that very moment that she was in a loophole. Since I wasn’t 100% sure I told my mother something and the next day I would check to see if she could remember and that way I could 100% know if I was in a loophole. Not knowing what to do for the rest of the evening I headed over to the freezer to get some ice cream and realized that the tub of ice cream I had eaten was still there and that’s when I was 100% sure that I was stuck in a loophole on January 1st, 2000.

This kind of loophole was different than the ones in horror movies because I wasn’t constantly dying over and over again, I was just living life on the same day over and over again. I’m not sure if I should try to get out since I could just live life without consequences and everything I mess up will just return to its original self. I then began to think, am I just the chosen one, am I the only one experiencing this loophole, or is everyone else living in a loophole? Is this how the world is supposed to end? 

Regardless, I wasn’t going to let this opportunity go, I basically have no responsibility and unlimited freedom to do whatever I want. I could go rob a bank just because I wanted to, get arrested and then the next day I would just wake up in my room. I guess I could go and try to approach James in a way that will make him like me and if it didn’t work I could just act differently and eventually get James to like me.

I first began by getting straight to the point and saying I like you, he rejected me. The next day I just tried to become his friend acting as if I wasn’t into him, but I couldn’t keep up the act and tried to kiss him and that ended up being the way. Any time I wanted company from James I could do the same steps and act like I just needed a friend, then make a move.

I became a “master” at getting James to like me and became bored, so I thought to myself how I could leave because anything I accomplish, would just be wasted and being stuck here didn’t feel like true freedom. I then thought of an idea, what if I could just not sleep? 

I started the “no sleep” plan on that very same day and it was already 4:26 in the morning. I was exhausted, but I had to overcome this minor challenge of sleepiness to get me out of this hell hole. While watching horror movies throughout the night I overcame the sleepiness and now it was time to see if it was January 1st or 2nd. She went on her computer to check the date, and it said, “January 2nd, 2000” I was so relieved it worked and jumped on the bed and closed my eyes for one second and that was enough to put me to sleep. I then was awake in bed in the same position I always woke up in when I was in the loophole. I check the date and sadly enough it said January 1st, 2000. I guess there’s no way out of this endless cycle.

I actually just wanted to end my life because whatever I do is just meaningless, there are no consequences, no benefits of the loophole, and it's as if I’m trapped in some messed-up psychology experiment. What if even after I died I would end up in my bed, what if the new millennium marked the starting of the judgment day and this was my punishment? I finally got the gun in the drawer and pulled out the gun which had been given to me by my father. I shot myself in an attempt to end it all, and it worked. I saw my soul being lifted out of my body.

The audience started clapping for the story I presented at the suicide awareness convention, this metaphor was supposed to show how people dealing with depression often think that they are thought of as nobody and whatever they do won’t be seen and that they feel truly stuck in the life they are living; I am glad that my metaphorical story was able to reach the hearts of the audience because for the depressed there is only one way out.