The Miracle From Within the Silence

The icy cold snow-covered door slammed shut despite the tortuous winds blowing against it. I pulled my buttons to my coat closer for the chill was greater from the strangeness of the door than the blizzard outside. I started to ask the cashier if she saw that (with the door), but there were no cashiers at any of the registers. I looked around and did not see any customers either. I would think they would be all over the place with the snow falling so heavily. Shrugging my shoulders I continue throughout the store to pick up the few things I needed. Perhaps the storm will subside while I am in here.

Walking down the first few aisles and putting a few items in my cart, there was still no other customers. In fact, there was no one at all. This is really strange. This store is usually quite busy no matter what time of year; and, always has more than its share of employees. In fact, most of the time, you cannot even get down an aisle without one of them asking if they can assist you. Hmm, funny. No one. Now that's just odd.

I rang the button at the meat counter and waited for the butcher to come out to special cut the lamb chops for me as he does every Thursday.

“Hello! Hello! Is anyone there? Hello?” I cannot believe no one is coming out. “Hello?” Still no one. I grabbed the cubed lamb package in the display and decided to make a shepherd's pie instead of my normal chops. Placing them in my cart I looked around and still saw no one else in the store other than myself. It was so quiet in the store that not only could I hear the squeaking of the cart wheels, but even the cooler was hissing loudly. The hair on my arms and the back of my neck was beginning to stand on end I literally felt the blood draining from my face. I realized that there was nothing normal about the emptiness of the store. In fact, there was nothing normal about the entire day.

The blizzard was without warning and also out of season. Quite unusual for the first week of May. I looked at my watch...I have been here for forty-five minutes already and not a soul to be seen. At that moment I knew it was time to go. Everything was just too strange. I began going down aisle seven toward the checkout and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I threw my cart to the side and ran toward this beautiful child lying on the floor wrapped in this flowery yellow blanket. I did not know if it was a boy or girl but it was smiling and looking straight at me. Its eyes were as rounded onyx stones. Deep and black but bright as if the light of day, itself, came only from them. They were warm and inviting.

I picked the child up and read the note that was pinned on the outside of the blanket - it read:

“I've been waiting for you. I knew it wouldn't take you long to find me..

I am the child you have been praying for. Take me home and love me as your own.

Inside the blanket you will find my birth certificate. Please, just love me. I am

your daughter."

She began to giggle as I opened the blanket and read the birth certificate. "This isn't happening. This cannot be real." On the birth certificate was the child's name, Hannah Marie Goldberg. Mother: Natalie Anne Goldberg . . . 'Wait, what! No . . . how, what? How can my name be on here?"

I could not read any further. I put the birth certificate back inside the blanket and swaddled the blanket again against this beautiful little girl. Her tiny slender fingers grasped my ring finger as I tucked her arm inside. The warmth from her smile filled my heart so much I could feel the heat in my face. I snuggled her close to me and went to the front of the store. Still no one to be seen. I went to the door-there was no ice on it, the sun was shining outside and not one flake of snow to be seen. It was a typical spring day. Confused, I walked to my car, opened the door and saw the car seat in the backseat. "This is just too weird." I placed the child in the car seat and knew I had to go home to my husband, Stephen, to help me go to the authorities with this child. Someone had to be missing her..

It was only a fifteen minute drive to my house but it seemed as though it took me over an hour. I just kept running the events through my head. How is any of this possible? What was even more strange was when I got in the house . . .

“Hello, darling, how was your and Hannah's trip out this wonderfully fine morning?” Stephen walked to me, kissed me, and then gently kissed Hannah on the forehead. I could feel the color draining from my face. What is happening? “Darling, are you okay? What's wrong? You look like you've just seen a ghost.”

“Stephen, what is going on here? How do you know this child?”

“Very funny, Natalie. Now let me hold that precious daughter of mine.” Stephen took Hannah from my arms and looked at me as though I were covered with soot and grime. “What's wrong? Are you sick? Should I call the doctor? You don't look so well. Honey go lie down for a bit, okay? I'll check on you in a few minutes after I put the baby down.”

I could not speak. My throat was dry and it felt as though I had just swallowed my own tongue. What's happening to me? I could hear a few grunts come out of my throat as I managed to find a few incoherent words, “But . . . I . . . we . . . I mean I, well, when . . I mean she...”

“That's it, I'm calling Dr. Carter. You go lie down while I put Hannah down to nap. She won't mind coming to the house. Go on lie down in the study, I'll be right in after I make the call.”

I did not say another word. I was too confused. I lied down on the sofa in the study and rested my head upon the soft pillow. I pulled the afghan from the back of the sofa for I could not help notice the chill in the air. Or was it just me? I closed my eyes for what I thought was just a moment when Stephen walked into the room.

“Well you've been sleeping for quite some time. You'd better get ready to go?”

I looked at Stephen as though I were looking at a total stranger, “go where?”

“You cannot tell me you have forgotten already. Gees, Natalie, you were so excited you couldn't wait. Today's the day we go pick up our little miracle.” Stephen's smile beamed from ear to ear. He could not 'not' smile even if he wanted to. He was overjoyed. “We go to the adoption agency today to pick up our daughter.”

I sat up still a bit groggy. I felt as though I had taken three sleeping pills. I must have been asleep a long time. “What time it??

“It's seven o'clock. You fell asleep here last night and you were so tired I just put the blanket over you and let you sleep. You'd better get ready though, we have to be there by eight-thirty.”

“What are you talking about, Stephen? Pick up our daughter? Hannah's right here. You just took her from me and put her down for a nap. Stop playing games. And how do you even know her””

“Boy that must have been some dream you had. You even named her already without me. So Hannah, is it? Okay, I'll bite. Now go get dressed we are going to be late.”

I knew Stephen loved practical jokes, but I thought I'd play along. “Where's Hannah? Okay, never mind, I'll go get ready.” I figured Stephen must have called my mother to come and get Hannah for the day. But what must she be thinking? Where does she think this child came from? It did not take me long before I was ready and Stephen was waiting for me by the door.

“Are you as excited as I am? I cannot wait. This is BIG! In about an hour and a half we are going to be parents.”

I figured I'd play along. “Yeah, let's go . . . I can't wait!” I felt ridiculous pretending. Maybe he was just playing along with me. Maybe I really was tired and told him all about finding the baby and he already called the authorities. That had to be it. He was just making a game out of it so I wouldn't feel badly about giving the child up. But wait, should we not be bringing her? Oh man, one of us or both of us have a lot of explaining to do. I'm getting more and more anxious by the moment. Right now, I am not sure whether or not I should be worried or even frightened.

Stephen pulled the car up to a familiar place. It was the adoption agency that we had gone to some time ago. What is he doing? He's taking this joke a little too far. Oh wait, maybe this is where the authorities told him to bring the child I found. That must be it. But, we don't have the child. Did my mother bring her here ahead of us? Hmm, I don't see her car. Okay, now I'm starting to panic. “Stephen? What . . . “

Stephen was already out of the car and opening my door. “C'mon, she's waiting.”

“Stephen, don't you think you are taking this too far?” I was beginning to get angry with him now. It wasn't fun any longer. I did not want to play this game.

“C'mon, Nat, they're waiting.” He reached inside and put his hand on my shoulder to lead me out of the car. We walked to the office and was met at the door my the social worker we had seen several months ago when we had applied for an infant.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg, so happy to see you again. I'm sure this day is one of your greatest.” The social worker, Shelley McFarland, smiled and motioned us to have a seat at the desk. “If you will have a seat right here, we can sign the paper work and get started.”

“I'm sorry, Ms. McFarland, I'm confused here. What exactly are we . . . “ Stephen cut me off in mid sentence and whispered in my ear.

“Hush, Nat, they're going to think we're nuts. What's wrong with you?”

It was at this point I decided to say nothing further and just go through the motions. I don't know what is going on with me or with this situation, but I suppose it will all come out in the open soon enough. I pulled the papers close to me that was slid across the desk and began to read the forms of adoption. It was very difficult for me to go on as if nothing had transpired earlier in the day, but I would try my best. I read the forms and signed them under Stephen's signature.

“Okay, that's the final note. Are you ready to meet your daughter?” Shelley McFarland got up from her chair, smiled at us and went to the inner door of her office. When she opened the door, I was astonished. There she was. Just as angelic as I had seen her at the market. Her large, round, black eyes looked right at me. Her inner light shone as it were the only light in the room. Just as before, I thought. The same floral yellow blanket was wrapped around her just as I had wrapped it. I figured my mother must have brought her here and wrapped her as I had. “Here she is. Your beautiful daughter.”

I was frozen. Everyone was waiting for me to reach for her. I was afraid. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know what to do. But her face. It was as though she were calling me. Her hair was so beautiful with long black curls. Oh what a dream. This cannot be real. Hush, I said to myself. Just go with it. Go and welcome your daughter.

I walked slowly to this angel who was presented before me. Shelley had removed the blanket so I could hold her in my arms. As I reached for her, she grasped my ring finger with those same tiny slender fingers that she had at the market. I was in love.

“Do you have a name for her?” Shelley asked as she handed me the baby.

“I do. Her name is Hannah Marie Goldberg. She is our daughter.” I lifted her close to my heart and whispered in her ear . . . “I know we've met already little one, and someday, I'll tell you our beautiful story.”