Expectations and Miscommunications

DISCLAIMER: I am not, here, trying to say that all social media is bad. I am only trying to bring attention to the fact that it does bring many problems with it, which can be avoided. Social media can be a good place, to connect and see others' lives, and I do not want to discount that. However, oftentimes it does do more harm than good.

1: Eat healthier. 

1:00 PM. Seine sat at her desk and thought that this was a perfectly normal New Year’s resolution. She had heard that, at least. The first time making goals really is difficult. How does one know what to do? Still, this goal was a good way to start off the list. Everyone else said she needed to work on it, when she had a poll with her followers. She needed to stop eating all those twix bars anyway.

2: Exercise more.

2:00 PM. Another normal goal. Another goal which everyone said she should set when she set another poll and waited 45 minutes. Really, why does anyone make resolutions if they are all going to be the same as one another? Seine didn’t know, but since everyone says she should… Well, she was never one to disappoint. She should probably get more into shape anyhow, as she was planning to run a 5k in the spring.

3: Get organized.

3:00 PM. After a snack break, Seine looked up a list of common New Year’s resolutions. Really, what was the point of these mundane and non-personal goals, aside from what everyone thinks of someone? She must present these goals as her way of becoming the perfect person. Ever since one of her hundreds of thousands of social media followers asked why she had never made any New Year's resolutions, and didn’t she want to improve herself? Well. That couldn’t stand. She could not lose followers over this. Didn’t she need to organize her messy sock drawer in any case?

4: Spend more time with family and friends.

4:00 PM. After a run and finding the list again, Seine paused. Why did she write this one down from that list? She didn’t have any friends, not unless you counted her followers. And her family… Well. They just didn’t understand her, was all. Mama didn’t understand why her followers mattered so much, and Seine doesn’t have a papa. But… It’s the holidays, she thought. Maybe it’s time to fix things with Mama. Maybe Seine could get her to understand.

5: Go visit Mama for the first time in six years.

5:00 PM. Seine stood at the door to her Mama’s house, afraid to knock. She didn’t account for the fact that her mother would have one of those motion-sensing doorbells, and come right to the door when she saw Seine shivering outside in the falling snow, courtesy of an app on her phone. Bless that technology that got Seine out of the cold and of the fear of seeing Mama again.

6: Have a talk with Mama.

6:00 PM. Mama had brought Seine inside and sat her on the ugly green couch, and suddenly Seine was overwhelmed. She didn't realize how much she had missed Mama until that moment, and tears began pouring out of her eyes, miniscule waterfalls glinting in the light from the warm faux crystal chandelier above her. Mama put her arm around her, and when Seine peeked out from where her head was buried in her arms, Mama was crying too. 

7: Explain what happened.

7:00 PM. Seine looked up after the tears had finally slowed to a careful stop. Two hours, she had been sobbing on and off. Too long. She explained to Mama what happened that night, the night of the fight. She told Mama that someone at school, because at the time she was still in school, had called her a worthless fake, had gossiped about her to the point where she didn’t have any real friends anymore, and that the friends she did have she became paranoid of and pushed away. Explained that when she came home after that, to Mama saying that she couldn’t have social media anymore, that she was spending too much time there, it felt like everyone in the world was turning against her. So she left, because her followers were all she had anymore. She was making sufficient money off them. She could live without Mama.

8: Let Mama explain her side.

8:00 PM. Mama held Seine tight, told her that she’d heard about the rumors at school long before Seine had, had made the decision to cut off her social media because she knew that it was ruining Seine’s real life. She was called a fake because of her false photos and phony life; why else? She was becoming paranoid of her true friends because the people she followed herself posted such horrible stories of betrayal, likely more for attention than truth.

9: Open the gift in the corner.

9:00 PM. The gift, encased in gold-and-blue-plaid wrapping and tied with a golden ribbon, had been a gift meant for Christmas six years ago. Seine cautiously undid the ribbon from the box, gently pried the wrapping paper open at each seam, and found a lovely camera within. Photography had been her dream, once upon a time, and while she still took pictures, Seine had only been taking them to prop herself up, not to capture and appreciate the beauty around her which had begun the dream in the first place. Seine tackled Mama with a hug, and, much to her chagrin, began to sob again. Mama held her again, and Seine felt like she was back to being the young girl she used to be.

10: Take a photo.

10:00 PM. Seine set up a photo of her and Mama, turned the countdown button on her camera to three, ran to take her place leaning against her strong mother. The camera flashed and clicked. The first of hopefully many photos capturing the true beauty of life had been taken.

11: Post on social media.

11:00 PM. Seine posted the announcement on her page. It would stay up until midnight. Her followers would not be happy.

12: Ring in the new year.

12:00 PM. Seine deleted her social media account and felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. Goodbye, followers. She thought. But she felt no regret. She and Mama shouted “cheers” and “happy new year” as fireworks began to explode outside, crackling and booming long through the night.