Growing Old

Nurse Sue pulled the vertical blinds open all the way. It filled the room with glorious sunlight. The hot Australian summer sun beat down on her upturned face as the heat from it flowed through her crumbling bones. Oh how she loved this time of year.

Growing old was a privilege but not always a blessing. Between aching bones, brain fog and fatigue, life often proved to be a struggle. Especially so lately. For lately her body was struggling with pain in so many places. She spent so much time in her own mind.

“Are you comfortable Mary, enjoying the sun? that’s a girl, I will be back in a little while” Nurse Sue smiled down on her with love and compassion and silently left the room.

I’m Mary, I’m old, how old I’m not certain,

They say I’m in my 80’s, but who can say for sure? I’ve been in the Betsy Partridge Nursing Home for as long as I can remember. I have no family, or so they tell me, sometimes I’m not so sure that they are right. I have memories. I remember I did have a family a long time ago, or did I?

Some days memories filter through my messy mind of lazy sunny days, laughing, surrounded by mountains, swimming in freshwater lakes. I’m surrounded by people, they must be family or friends. I’m happy.

“Hey Mary, this is Dr Pearce”

Mary turned her head with difficulty , to see another robotic Dr, that’s what Mary thought of them. They all said the same things, asked the same questions they even looked similar in their white coats. Some were nice others more clinical. It went on day after day. Week after week and year after year.

“Mary doesn’t speak Dr, but she’s a mighty fine listener, aren’t you Mary, love”

Nurse Sue took my hand and gave it a soft rub. I had spent many nights listening to Nurse Sue, silently comforting her through all her life problems, when she left her long-time husband for a lovely girl named Tegan.

Nurse Sue had even shared photos of her and Tegan’s life on her phone. I enjoyed the company of Nurse Sue. The truth was I had been lonely for as long as I could remember and I loved to have the company of Nurse Sue. Not that I could remember much of anything . Memories slipped in and out, randomly.

I remember a time when I could walk and talk, dance and laugh. Saturday nights spinning and twirling with young men in black suits. Elvis, music playing jailhouse rock at the local dance hall. Did I marry? Did I have children? Oh, how I love to dance. I remember that.

“It’s a sad case Dr, poor Mary turned up here over ten years ago, she had been living in the streets for years. Her general health was in a bad way. Mary has not spoken a word since she got here”

Doctor Pearce leaned close to Mary and gently took her hand. He was a compassionate one.

“Hello Mary, I hope they’re keeping you comfortable” his voice trailed on, but she was back in the dance hall. A young man, blonde, slicked back hair was gazing with love in his eyes. She knew that smile, a dimple in the chin. They swayed to the rhythm of ‘Love me tender’ as he whispered the words of the song, his mouth pressed to her ear. His name? It was on the tip of her tongue; no, it was gone. Disturbing her thoughts ,Dr Pearce lifted the sheet, tutted in agreement. “Yes, I can see the problem nurse, I’m afraid there’s not much more we can do about it”

nurse Sue gave Dr Pearce a stern look.

“Doctor maybe we should step out of the room to talk?”

Dr Pearce shrugged but followed Nurse Sue into the hall.

“Isn’t their any hope Dr?”

“Afraid not, it comes with age, we all wear out Nurse, all I can suggest is you get her prepared”

“Yes Dr, I will do, but Mary is special”

“Nurse, you seem to forget she is a just artificial intelligence. She is not alive, she can not feel, she was created for training purposes only and has helped us immensely to train nurses and dr’s alike for many years, but they all wear out”

“I know Dr, but Mary seems different, more human, silly I know”

“Nurse if you have become too attached to the AI, then I will get someone else to turn it off, it’s obsolete and time it was shut down”

“No Dr, I’m ok I will do it, please let me do it, but with love and compassion”

“I suppose it can be an end-of-life learning aid, yes, go ahead then nurse, let’s just not drag it out” Nurse Sue nodded.

Nurse Sue quietly entered the room. She would leave the room filled with sunlight, Mary would like to go that way.

Mary looked old and tired. If only they had not made the AI so human looking. Nurse Sue didn’t care what they said, Mary had feelings, and Mary cared for her, as much as she cared for Mary. Taking Mary’s hand, Nurse Tegan whispered in Mary’s ear.

“Mary my friend, it is time. We talked about this time coming and it’s here now. You have been through enough pain my friend it’s time to let go now, oh Mary my love are you real? I believe you are my friend, and I will miss you so”

A tear trickled down Mary’s face. Taking a tissue Nurse Sue dabbed it away gently.

Nurse Sue took Mary’s hand and out loud for the cameras she began to explain how the human organs would shut down at end of life it was all very clinical. All the while Mary was listening to her favourite 1950’s and 1960’s music being pumped through the ear buds Nurse Tegan had placed in her ears to drown out the heartless words being spoken. As Nurse Tegan explained, she switched off each of Mary’s organs in order. Until she was gone.