0 comments

Kids Fiction Funny

If being the only lion in the pet shop had perks, Leo had certainly never been treated to them. As he lazed in a pile of soiled wood chips, staring woefully out the glass wall, he considered the misfortune of his situation. Stuck in this cramped prison, watching as, day after day, Patterfeet ran by, yelping in excitement or fear, Rufflefeathers squawked unhappily, and all the while, humans admired them like they were the most precious, un-vexing things in the world. Leo was disdainful of this place; it was most odious. 

The bowl of food in front of him was a clear example of his trivial life - half full with brown, stale pellets. Leo glared at the Mini Rexes as they gladly gobbled down the mid-day meal. No king should have been served such an abominable morsel. And with his golden mane, (which was continually getting things tangled in it,) Leo surely had to be considered something of a king.

The Mini Rexes and Netherland Dwarfs had both finished their food already, lowly peasants that they were. Leo scoffed. They would eat anything given to them. 

A dwarf suddenly stared up at him. Lookie here! He said. Little Leo hasn’t touched his food. Whaddya think his problem is?

Probably scared he’ll get it in his fur - all that stuff on his head. Mocked the other rabbit in the cage. They were relentless. Ever since Leo had arrived here nearly three weeks ago, they hadn’t stopped their taunting. Eventually they’d have to shave it off! The dwarf squealed at the thought. A bald Lionhead! Hee- HEE! Imagine it! 

Leo turned around and kicked up his wood shavings in the Dwarves’ general direction and thought his usual murderous thoughts. He began to groom his long, straight ears, as to block out the high-pitched cackles of the rabbits. He licked his paws and ran them over his smooth fur. Lick, wipe, lick, wipe. Yet another tedious ritual he occupied his time with in his new, awful life. Lick, wipe, lick, wipe.

Leo could still remember his other home. (Of course he did. He had lived there little less than a month ago.) Nothing but green grass and playing with his fellow lion siblings until the sun went down and they all retired to the big, red box where they slept. It had the softest bedding, he recalled. Nothing like the preposterous thing he slept on here. And sat on. And ate on. And walked on day after day after day. Wood chips. Leo despised them, and would forever more, even after he got out of the pet store. If he ever did, that is.

His last home was the kind of place for a king. A whole monarch family, in fact. His mother was the queen, with her huge, white crown. No one could deny it. And Leo had lived under her rule until that fateful day that someone stuffed him in a cardboard box and sent him off to be ridiculed by caged rabbits and fed disgusting foodstuffs. 

Leo finally stuffed himself into the corner of the glass box, his fluffy body almost completely taking on its shape, and stayed there, watching the commotion outside from the corner of his beady little eye. 

The Holland Lop was putting his paws up against the wall of his cage, attempting to get the attention of a little girl who was passing by.

The Rufflefeathers were having a contest of seeing who could hang upside down from their feeding basket the longest.

The human at the desk with the apron was picking at her bright green claws. 

An old man was approaching Leo’s cage.

Leo’s ears perked, but he did not move. This man - with scraggly hair on his face but none on his head - came ever closer and examined Leo. He examined him in a way that made Leo’s mane stand on end. He was being evaluated.

Slowly, a smile came to the man’s face. Or, at the very least, the skin under his squinted eyes folded up. Then he walked away. Leo relaxed. His ears drooped again. No old graybeard would be disturbing him, certainly not. What would such a man have to be interested in when it came to an incarcerated king…

There was a tapping on the glass.

Leo jumped. He looked around wildly. Who dare tap on his glass-?

Ah. The man had returned, this time with the green clawed human, who gave the man a bored look before reaching up to the glass cage. She pulled out a small, shiny object. Leo’s eyes followed the metal thing as it was pushed into the glass, turned, and pulled out. And then a miraculous thing occurred. The wall began to move. Slowly at first, then faster. It opened fully. Then green claws were reaching for him, closing around him, and rather then panicking, Leo had merely one thought:

I’m finally leaving this wretched place!

***

The initial cheerful idea of his predicament was shattered as he was dropped into yet another cardboard box. Curses! Leo screeched as the lid was closed and he was shut into darkness. Curse you and your putrid green claws, you aproned fiend!

“He doesn’t sound too happy,” chuckled a raspy voice. Leo fitted his tiny paws through a hole and clawed at the box, thumping his feet unhappily. And more wood chips, too. He growled. You monstrous, demented, erred-

A sudden lift from the ground jolted Leo back to the middle of the box, where he stayed and moped. He was being taken to some newly horrific ‘home,’ he just knew it. While he was free from his glass cage, whatever he faced next would surely make the horrors of his previous life pale in comparison. More brown pellets, more wood chips, and a man with too much facial hair staring him down as he went about his day. Leo shuddered. This would be his future. His doomed destiny. 

The box was set down, and Leo heard a vaguely familiar sound. A deep, loud growl coming from beneath him. It was happening just as it had before. History was repeating itself, only three weeks later. Leo ground his teeth and prepared himself for the worst. 


It felt as though hours passed before everything came to a stop again. Leo peeked out the hole in the box and tried to survey his surroundings. But all he saw was more darkness.

He heard a slam, a creak, then was lifted once more. He could feel the box jolt with every step the old man carrying him took. The woodchips flew into the air and fell back again. They were getting in his majestic mane, but Leo hardly cared. His life was virtually at an end. The only things that could possibly happen next would be terrible and dull and terribly dull. 

The box was set on the ground. The top was opened. Leo closed his eyes, not wanting to face everything that was to come…

A new feeling greeted him. Soft hands, not grabbing him harshly, but rather rubbing him behind his ears and over his majestic fur. He dared to open a single eye. Tiny humans stared at him in wonder. “Look at his head!” They said, delighted. Leo sniffed, and, upon smelling something intriguing, dared to lift his head over the side of the box. And there it was, something too beautiful to describe.

Green grass!

Eager now, he jumped from the box, wood chips leaving his feet. The tiny humans (One male, one female) clapped their hands happily and watched. The old man was standing just behind them, warmth in his eyes. Leo jumped, relief flooding through him. Then he sat, and observed his new domain. Green grass, a big yellow box, a tree standing like a guardian over it all. 

Leo stood on his hind legs and clucked in approval. 

Now this is a place for a king!



(Note - Patterfeet are dogs, specifically smaller breeds such as terriers and dachshunds, and Rufflefeathers are parakeets.)


July 24, 2023 19:15

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

0 comments

RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.