One Night Stand

I had heard many good things about the plays presented by a young pop-up theater company called One Night Stand. As the name indicates (unless you thought it was something else) the performances are for one night only, experimental pieces at whatever theaters they can find wherever and whenever they can find them. 

I had read there was going to be a performance on the coming Saturday night at a venue in a part of downtown I was completely unfamiliar with and sadly I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to go with me. Nonetheless, because I felt I simply had to see this particular play, I purchased a ticket. I decided to rent a car since I would be going to an area with which I was unfamiliar and my car had been giving me problems. I never knew whether it was going to start or if it did, whether it would get me where I wanted to go. I had an appointment with a mechanic the following week to get the car looked at but at the moment renting a car sounded like a good idea.  

I picked up a rental Saturday afternoon, an olive-green Honda something or other, I think a Civic since it was a compact. The show was scheduled to begin at 8:00 pm. I left home at 6:30 since I didn’t know the area and I am so directionally challenged I tend to get lost even with a GPS and I usually download written directions as well. Also, I detest driving downtown any time and I had no clue what the traffic was going to be like or the parking situation so I wanted extra time. As it turned out the traffic was a nightmare and I drove around in circles while I tried to find the theater. When I got to the general area where I thought the theater should be, I still went around the block several times because the written directions I had said the street on which the theater was located had no name so “when you get to this street, look for it”.

Just past 7:30 I finally found the unnamed street, a very narrow one-way alley affair with cars parked on the right side, bumper to bumper. The theater was on the left side which I only noticed because of the huge white cloth, probably a sheet, with big black letters saying ONE NIGHT STAND emblazoned on it. I saw a youngish man wearing a black T-shirt with One Night Stand emblazoned on it in white a couple of doors down the street from the box office who was waving at the cars passing by and I figured he was the valet but I had some time so decided to try to find street parking. I rode around for another 20 minutes and returned to the alley street, passed the theater once again, and as I approached the end of the short block, the valet who apparently noticed me coming down a few times, waved at me and I thought “Oh hell, just let him park the damned car” since I was close to missing the opening of the play. I stopped, put the car in park, and opened the door. He helped me out, and with a smile, got in the driver’s seat, said, “See you later” and drove off. 

Now late I ran back up the street to the theater and made it to my seat just as the curtain was going up. The play called “One Crazy Night in June” was hilarious and I thoroughly enjoyed the acting and the story. Upon leaving the theater it suddenly occurred to me that the valet never gave me a ticket to retrieve my car. I headed through the lobby along with the rest of the crowd which quickly disbursed because I guess they had been lucky enough to find parking on the street, and I was the only one left and I didn’t see the valet. Well, I thought, I’ll wait so I walked down to the end of the block, and around the corner I saw a bunch of cars with their lights on about to leave and I thought well, maybe the valet is in one of them and is going to bring my car. It was dark and I couldn’t see the green Honda. So, I walked back to the theater box office and there was still a young man in it and I said “The valet didn’t give me a ticket for my car. Do you think that’s going to be a problem?” A confused look crossed his face and he said “Umm, we don’t have valet service”. I said “What? How can that be? There was a guy wearing a black t-shirt with One Night Stand written on it in big white letters waving at me to stop. I was sure he was the valet. He took my car and drove away. Are you sure?”  

“Sorry. We’ve never had valet service. We’re only here in the theater for one night and we couldn’t afford it anyway. Most folks park in the lots a few blocks away or on the street, if they get here early enough. “omigod” I said “what should I do? It’s not even my car. It’s a rental”

“I guess call the Police,” the young man said. “I’m sorry I have another job and I have to leave. Good luck to you.” And with that, he turned off the light and left.

Now I’m standing alone on this street in the dark, my stomach in knots. I take out my phone and dial 9-1-1. Fortunately, after telling the operator my sad story, she was very sweet and sympathetic and said she would dispatch the closest patrol car.

I walked down the street to where some stores still had lights on even though they were not open and I noticed a car coming down the street, noisy and slow; it pulled up to the curb where I was standing and it was the valet and he says “I’m so sorry I forgot to give you a ticket for your car. Get in and I’ll take you to your car.”  Now my heart is pounding and I say “Are you out of your mind? Why didn’t you bring my car to me.” Just then I see the flashing lights coming down the street. The valet takes off. The patrol car pulls up and I say “It’s that guy who took my car. They left with the siren wailing “beep-beep-beep-beep and it was getting louder instead of softer. I gasped and my eyes popped open and my heart was pounding and I sat up. It was not a siren it was my alarm clock. What a crazy dream. It took me days to figure out what it was telling me. It could have been a one-night stand or it could have been something much darker but maybe it was simply “be careful who you trust”.