8 minutes

So. Here we are. I am currently arguing with an 8 foot long talking goldfish. You may be wondering how this happened, and you might be surprised to hear that it all started with a slice of chocolate cake. We'll get to all that later, but first I have to give you some background information, or this story will make about as much sense as... well... an 8 foot long talking goldfish.

First off, my name is Arnold. I'm a freshman at Gordon High, but... Not to brag or anything, I'm kind of a genius. Anyways, I had this great idea for my science fair project at school, you probably wouldn't even understand all the science behind it, but, put simply, I made junk food healthy. I don't mean I used healthier ingredients, or just proportioned it out better, no. I invented a serum that I could inject into foods, like, for example, chocolate cake, and it lowered the total amount of fat gained from eating this deliciousness. Anyways, I had spent months perfecting the serum, and I had finally injected it into the cake, and my science teacher, Mr. Sampson, was so proud. I had made a revolutionary product, and it was GLORIOUS.

I ran home to tell my mom as fast as I could, and I didn't stop until I got there. It had rained earlier that day, so my red and white sneakers splashed in the puddles, getting little water droplets on my glasses. When I got home, the smell of homemade cookies filled my nose, and made me feel all warm inside.

"How was your day Arnold?"

My mother's voice was soft and sweet, like honey. She put a few cookies on a plate and poured me a glass of milk.

"It was great mom! I made a solution to a worldwide problem and developed a chemical compound that might be slightly radioactive!"

"That's nice dear."

I'm a genius. I'm not stupid. I know she pretty much ignored me, because no parent in their right mind would let there child play with dangerous chemicals.

My dog sat under the table, looking up at my cookies longingly.

BARK!

"I'm sorry Bailey, you can't have any." I joked.

"Do you have any homework?" My mom asked.

"No. I finished it all early."

"What a smart boy I raised." My mom put her hand on my head and tossed my strawberry blonde curls around.

"mom..." I groaned.

"I know, I know. You're too old for that now. Just eat your cookies and go upstairs."

When I finished my cookies, I slid the chocolate cake into the top of my backpack. Mom doesn't allow food upstairs, so I had to do what was necessary. For science- no... For the good of mankind. After all, I was an official super genius now. (That means I'm kind of like a smart superhero.) I ran upstairs, gripping my backpack tight so I didn't drop the cake- I mean my books.... Yeah... my books. Bailey followed me upstairs, zigzagging under my feet, almost like he wanted to trip me.

"Bailey! Stop that!"

BARK!

When I got to my room, I carefully set my bag down and unzipped it slowly. I gently pulled out the cake, and began to undo the plastic wrap I had put over it to keep it fresh. Once I had unwrapped it, I started to walk it over to my desk, so I could do some final examinations to make sure everything was just right. As I was walking over, obviously slowly and carefully, as any genius would, BAILEY tripped me. The cake went flying into the air, and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion now. Luckily I caught it onto the paper plate again, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that single crumb that didn't land back on the plate. You see, as the cake went soaring through the air, a little tiny piece broke off and landed in the fish bowl on my desk. My little orange goldfish, Bella, seemed to enjoy the cake... until the serum kicked in. I must have gotten some of the calculations wrong, because what happened next still amazes me.

With the blink of an eye, Bella was HUGE! Her glass bowl shattered and water spilled everywhere.

My dog cowered behind my bed, whimpering like a baby. My jaw dropped, and so did the cake. That didn't matter anymore though. My little Bella, was a BIG Bella now! I don't think I even blinked until Bella started coughing and flopping around. Then I heard it. At first I thought I was in shock, like my ind was playing tricks. But then she said it a second time. And a third. And again. And again!

"Water- *cough, cough* Water! Water! *cough, cough, cough* Can't you hear me boy?! get me some damn water! *cough*"

I rushed to the bathroom, without another word, and immediately started filling the tub.

"Hang on Bella!"

"Arnold? What's going on up there?"

"Nothing mom! I'm just talking to Bella!"

"Okay..."

I rushed back into my room and grabbed Bella by the tail.

"WOaH! Take it easy baby, watch where you're puttin' those hands!"

"Sorry Bella, I gotta get you to the bathroom."

"The bathroom?! Child, I ain't dead! You can't flush me yet!"

"Bella, I couldn't flush you if I wanted to."

"What's that supposed to mean? Boy, are you calling me fat?"

"No, but you are pretty... long?"

"Mmmmhmmm."

I dragged her to the bath tub and pushed her in. Water splashed on the floor and walls.

"This is a mighty small bowl boy, I think we're gonna need somethin' a little homier."

"Bella!"

"What baby child?!"

"Do you even realize what has happened to you?!"

"No, other than I've been vacated and relocated to a smaller apartment."

I grab my tape measure and stretch it across her body.

"Bella... You're 8 FEET LONG!" At that moment I felt a little faint. I almost collapsed, but Bella splashed water in my face.

"I think you mean 8 INCHES baby."

"No Bella. I mean 8 FEET!"

"Huh..." Bella looks me up and down, as if she's starting to realize that I look smaller than usual. "Well this is a bit of a pickle, ain't it."

"You think?!"

"Don't sweat it baby, you'll come up with something. You always do."

"Oh yeah?!" That was it. I had officially flown off the rails. The combination of stress, fear, and the thought that I was just losing my mind were all mixing up my stomach and making my palms sweaty. "I'll come up with something?! You mean like how I came up with the idea to put this stupid serum in the cake?!"

"It's not stupid Arnold."

"It is though! It didn't even work! And now I have I giant talking goldfish in my bathtub!"

"One, never call a lady giant. And two, I could always talk, you just wasn't listening hard enough babe."

"Oh my god! What is my mom going to say?! She'll kill me!"

I could just hear her in that moment. Arnold! What did I tell you about food in your room?! Now look at the mess you've made in my bathroom! And that water on the floor in your room is going to soak through the floorboards and make mold!

My head was spinning trying to come up with an idea, the aching in my stomach was just getting worse, and my palms were dripping with gross sweat from my anxiety.

"it's all gonna be okay baby."

"How do you know?! You've never met my mom! You don't understand!"

"Hush child! I know your mamma raised you better than to talk to a lady like that!"

"You're not even a lady! You're just a fish! I shouldn't even be able to understand you in the first place, let alone talk to you!"

"So that's what you think of me... I've been around since you was a little kid, and you still see me as just a fish."

"Bella, that's-"

"Not what you meant? Oh I know. You know what else I know?"

"What?"

"There's only one way to fix this before your mom finds out, and you're a genius Arnold, so I think you know too baby."

"No. We're not doing that Bella."

"Why not? You said it yourself, I'm just a fish."

My blood was boiling at this point. I didn't know what to do, and what's worse, is my mom gave me the 10 minute warning before bed. That means she would be up in 8 minutes.

"8 minutes Arnold. We only have 8 minutes boy."

"So? Let her find out. I don't care."

"We can't let that happen. She would send you away, you know that."

"How do you know about that?"

"Just because you couldn't hear me, doesn't mean I couldn't hear you. Boarding school. She had papers and magazines in her purse and you found them and sneaked them up here."

"I didn't think you could understand me... sorry."

"7 minutes boy. Just do it."

"I won't. I can't."

"This is the part where I stop calling you child, and boy, and baby, because this is where you become a MAN and you do what needs to be done."

"No."

"I'll always be here for you Arnold, but your mom is coming, every second that clock ticks is a second that you're stuck with a giant fish and you might get sent away."

"And to think all this started with a silly piece of cake. A silly kid who just wanted to be smart enough to win."

"Arnold. You are a genius, and you always will be, unless you don't hurry up and do it!"

"FINE!"

I snapped. My brain turned to mush. I didn't understand what I was doing or why I was doing it, but I did it. And now I can't take it back. I reached into the bath, once again spilling water everywhere, my heart pounding as I lifted Bella out of the tub.

"I'll miss you baby." She whispered.

I took her over to the open window as I heard my mothers footsteps coming up the stairs.

"I can't!" I backed away from the window, but Bella leaped out of my arms.

"Bye Arnold." She managed, just before she hit the ground. And just like that. My childhood best friend was gone.

"Arnold!" My mom was standing in the doorway, staring at the chocolate cake on the floor.

"Sorry mom, I'll clean it up."

"Hurry up then. You have to go to school tomorrow, and I don't want a cranky boy in the morning."

"Yeah..."

My mom glanced over to the broken fish bowl.

Hey, wheres Bella?"

When I didn't respond she just hugged me.

"I'm sorry pal. I'll get you a new fish this weekend."

"Nah, it's okay. And she was more than just a fish mom. She was a lady."

"Um... okay..."

BARK!

"Bailey, no, don't eat the cake!"

We chased Bailey around for a while, then I went to bed. The science fair came and went, and I got a participation ribbon... again.

"So much for being a genius." I mumbled.

But a part of me could almost hear Bella saying

Arnold, you are a genius as long as you have the confidence to say you are one.

Can't get much of a better ending line than that, now can ya'?