A Different Visit

I stared out of the large windows, hoping this uneasy feeling would pass soon so I could enjoy the long ride. For someone who rode the line more than a thousand times and hopped freight trains nearly every day, this particular train ride was causing anxiety. I chose to sit in the observation car, thinking the views would put me in a better head space. My mom was the one who forced me on the Amtrak, I insisted I would get to her my own way, but she refused. Mom and Dad supported my decisions but when it came time for visits, they always paid my way. They wanted to ensure my safe arrival.  

It wasn’t so much visiting my parents that I was dreading, it was my older brother and his obnoxious wife. They hated me, just for existing. Everything I did was “wrong” and “disgusting” according to them. I chose to travel and live off the land. He chose law school and marriage. Maybe his debt made him hate me, or the fact that I’ve been to more countries, and have hiked more mountains than most people in their entire lifetime.  

I sat back in my seat and tried to enjoy the ever-changing landscapes. It was beautiful. We passed through large cities, and small countries. My parents lived in Washington, as well as my brother, but my last journey brought me to Chicago. I had friends out here who invited me to a Cubs versus Sox game. Something I can say I didn’t do very often. I was never one to buy into all that crap. It was all a waste of money to me, I preferred my simple life, and living off the land. Unconventional in this day and age, maybe, but I have everything I ever need at my fingertips. I may not have a house, or a car. I may not have a bunch of clothes or excessive number of things I’ll never use, but I do have amazing memories and stories to keep you entertained for months. In my opinion, this is how we are supposed to live but many people try to tell me otherwise. I have gardens in multiple states, hunting and fishing licenses too. I travel depending on the type of weather and where my harvest will be most plentiful. I’ve established sacred relationships with the locals everywhere I visit, so when I come back, I am welcomed and taken care of. People who pass me on the streets think I’m just another homeless nomad but those who get to know me, cherish my friendship and anything I bring to the table. I truly appreciate what the world has offered me since I began this adventure ten years ago,  

We were getting closer to Washington; I could tell because the mountains were calling my name. As a kid, we always went hiking and our goal as a family was to get to as many summits as we could. My brother loved it back then, I don’t know what changed over the years. He’s hardly the person I remember growing up with. It’ll be interesting to see how this visit plays out. We are celebrating my mom and dad's fiftieth wedding anniversary. In Chicago, I found a local glass blower who created this amazing anniversary present for my parents and all he asked for in return was for me to cook my (probably) world famous venison stew and have dinner with him and his family. He couldn’t get enough of my stories and neither could his children.  

The train began slowing down, knowing we were at my stop, my heart started pounding with excitement and a little bit of fear. Here we go, I said to myself.  

Mom and Dad were waiting for me at the gates. Mom had tears in her eyes and Dad had the same old shit eating grin he always had when they picked me up. I ran to them and they hugged me like they haven’t seen me in a billion years. Oh, I missed them so much.   

“How was the trip?” Dad asked as he took my backpack from my shoulders. I was used to the weight, as it was my only travel companion and carried everything I needed to survive, I sometimes forgot it was there.  

“It wasn’t too bad. You know I’m a sucker for the observation car. Chicago treated me well. The Cubs won, not sure if that’s good or bad, but my friends were happy. They also brought me along to Navy Pier, Millennium Park, and Buckingham Fountain, all wonderful places but the crowds and traffic. Ugh! I will always prefer nature over consumerism.” I slid into the car as I continued chattering about my most recent excursions.  

“Seems like another wonderful experience. I’m always excited to hear about all the places you see. We live vicariously through you, as we aren’t much for traveling or hiking anymore.” Mom was reminiscing, Dad broke his tail bone a few years ago and hasn’t been able to walk without a cane since.  

“I know Momma, you remind me every time I see you. I will always come with new stories and I have a surprise!” I reached into my backpack and pulled out the overly bubble wrapped present for my parents, delicately placing it into my mom's hands.

"Happy anniversary to you guys!" 

"Aw, sweetie. You shouldn't have!" Mom started crying before she even opened it. Dad watched as she carefully unwrapped it, both of their jaws falling open with awe. 

"Where in the world did you get this? It is so beautiful! It's customized!" Mom was stuttering over her words. 

"That is out of this world and must have cost a pretty penny!" Dad turned the glass artwork over in his hands admiring the details. 

"Actually, it only cost one venison stew dinner! But it wouldn't matter anyway because nothing is too expensive for the parents who raised me to be who I am and put up with my shit." I chuckled and kissed each of them on the cheek. 

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Don't feed me that garbage. Don't you ever go broke, trying to impress us." Dad said sternly. 

"Broke? Do you truly know me? What does broke even mean? You know I only live within my means and if I couldn't do something I really wanted to I would find a way. There isn't a thing in this world that would stop me either." I almost took offense. My parents should know me better than that. 

"Enough you two! It's a beautiful gift. Thank you so much Carter." Mom gently placed her new treasure on the center of the table. "Your brother and Zoey should be here any minute. Let's set the table and put the final touches on the decorations." Just as we were finishing up, the doorbell rang. 

Part of me was hoping they wouldn't show up. "So formal, knocking on his own parents' door." I rolled my eyes and went to let them in. 

Caleb looked at his brother, shook his hand, and pushed past him to give his mom a hug. 

"Well, hello to you too bro." Carter took the bags from his sister-in-law and whispered to himself 'I knew this would be a mistake.' 

"Hey Carter." His brother looked anxious and sweaty. 

"What's wrong with you?! Why do you look so on edge?" Mom was always quick to point out when her children didn't look well. 

Finally, his sister-in-law spoke up. "We really didn't want you to find out like this, it is supposed to be your day. I'm afraid we have some bad news." Zoey paused. She looked as if she was going to cry at any moment. "We..um.." She turned to Caleb for support. 

"We're getting a divorce; I'm losing my job because I'm an idiot and I messed up a huge case. I've been spiteful and an incredibly awful husband. Zoey deserves better, I don't think I can give that to her anymore." Caleb spit the words out before she could finish her sentence. 

Mom and Dad rushed over to the couple and started hugging them. I wasn't sure what to do or say. We had our ups and downs, but I never wished bad upon him. He can be a complete jerk sometimes but he deserves happiness. "So, what's the plan now? We still having a party?" I tried to break the awkward silence. 

"Yeah, let's eat. Zoey and I are still going to remain friends, so as far as I'm concerned, she's still family." Caleb was matter of fact and didn't hesitate in his decisions. 

It was a little awkward but the celebration went on. 

Dad poured everyone drinks and raised his glass. "Cheers! To new beginnings for you guys and many more years for your mom and I!" 

Everyone clinked glasses and cheered. It was definitely an eventful day already. 

Carter finally understood why his brother has treated him the way he has. It's obvious he hasn't been happy for a while and has been putting up a front. Pretending everything is okay when it isn't. That would kill anybody. Suddenly, Carter had an idea. "Hey bro, what's going to happen to the house and everything else?" 

" Zoey is keeping the house. I'm selling most of my stuff and probably looking for an apartment." 

"I told you to stay at the house too! It's big enough, we can be roommates." Zoey didn't seem ready to let her husband go yet. 

"Caleb, sweetie, you can come home. You know we always have space for you!" Mom let out an exasperated sigh. "Don't waste your money on rent!" 

Dad nodded in approval and poured another round. 

"Wait, before you make any hasty decisions, hear me out, okay?" I worked through my thoughts carefully. 

"I'm not going on a stupid hobo hike with you! I happen to like the comforts of home and the security of having a roof over my head." Caleb started to get aggravated. 

"I said hear me out! One of my friends in Alaska has property, a cabin with all the same luxuries of a normal home. The only thing we, well, I would have to do is trap my food and get firewood. He wants me to move out there to keep his property maintained, and human activity will deter any wildlife from destroying the place. He's going on a backpacking tour for a year and just wants someone to keep an eye on his property." 

"Wow, that sounds freezing! But Alaska is a beautiful state. Change of pace would be good for you Caleb." Dad flipped though the pros and cons. 

"I don't know. I don't know the first thing about living like you!" 

"You don't have to. I can teach you everything you'll need to know. I won't let you struggle out there. Maybe you'll realize you like it so much; you won't want to come back!" I was trying to convince my brother when Zoey chimed in. 

"I can handle all the final details; our divorce hearing is in two days and then you'll be a free man. I can send you cash from anything I sell. I think you need to do this, for yourself." 

"I guess you all have made my decision for me. Looks like you'll get some quality time with your big brother." Caleb chugged his drink and poured another one. 

"It's going to be great! You really need to get out of the same old routine anyway." I put my glass in the air. "To a fresh start!" 

************************ 

Mom and Dad insisted on driving us to the ferry and dropping us off at our new home. Caleb was beyond nervous. I have never seen him in this state. Normally, he is the composed one. I understand his fear though, it is always a little scary jumping into the unknown. But this, this is what I live for and I was more excited than ever to show my brother how I live every day. 

The ferry ride was a breeze and consisted of ensuring Caleb this was the right choice. He was feeling more confident as they arrived in Alaska. Mom and Dad drove us through twists and turns, up and down mountain roads. 

"This is breathtaking!" Caleb couldn't take his eyes off the landscapes. "It is nothing like I've ever seen. I thought Washington couldn't be beat." My brother was like a kid in the candy store. 

"You haven't seen anything yet! This world is full of wonderful, mysterious beauty and you haven't touched a portion of it. Just wait until you see the northern lights! Oh, and I definitely have to take you to the hot springs." I was prying Caleb out of his big old stupid box, and I couldn't wait to bring out the old adventurous partner I used to have growing up. 

"Welp, here we are boys!" Dad pulled into the driveway. The house was a little weathered, but beautiful no less. Entirely, hand built with dedication and care, standing tall in all its glory. 

"Welcome home sons!" Mom was admiring everything around us. "Maybe we will have to come visit sooner than we thought!" 

We grabbed our stuff, said our farewells and hugged our parents. "Until next time?" 

"Until next time, but not too long!" My mom started choking up. 

"Oh, stop it! We aren't even that far! You can visit every week! Besides, I've left for longer adventures, why are you crying now?" 

"I'm just so happy to see you two getting along, and starting this new life together. It reminds me of when you boys were little and would talk about all the places you'd see one day." 

"And, look at you now, doing exactly that!" Dad announced proudly. 

"We love you two!" Mom hugged us one last time. 

"Love you Momma!" Caleb and I said in unison. 

We headed for the front door, both of us, looking forward to what lay ahead.