A Time to Live

In the corner of a cafe I sat at a small table on wooden chairs, lined with dark red cushions. I was sitting across from the most beautiful girl while she sipped a cup of tea. The cafe was mostly empty, and was set far enough back from the roads and hustle and bustle of the busy streets that it was quiet. Sure, it wasn’t the fanciest place to take someone on a first date, but when you meet someone as beautiful as Analia Suarez, you find a way to make anything work.

The waiter came by to collect our menus and take our orders. He had a natural pleasantness that put anybody at ease. “I’ll get that right out for you.” I nodded my thanks to him.

I hesitated to think of conversation starters. “How’s work?”

“You don’t have a lot of experience with being on a date, do you?” I felt my face turn slightly red as she laughed. “Most people don’t want to talk about work when they’re, you know, not at work.”

“Ok, so not work, then…” I gestured for her to continue my sentence. She leaned forward, resting her arms on the table.

“What are you interested in?” Such a simple, easy question. Why didn’t I think of that?!

“I like cars. You know, fixing and tinkering with’em.” I lent back in my chair to try to make myself look a little bit cooler, but she just laughed again. “What?” I laughed with her.

“Nothing.” She waved it off, and seemed to be waiting for me to say more. “Is…is that it? You just like to tinker with cars?”

“What more would you like me to say?” I said, unintentionally accusingly. “Well, what do you like to do then, Ms. ‘Is that it’?” She lent back in her chair.

“I like to explore. I want to see the world, travel, and just enjoy life.” I felt my smile fade, just the slightest bit. I think I am too much of a homebody and travelling wasn’t the life I envisioned for myself. I’m looking for someone to settle down with but I couldn’t say that out loud, because this is just the first date. She must have realized by my expression that I wasn’t keen on travelling, as she quickly said: “I know that life isn’t for everyone…”

“I think it’s great that you know the type of life you want.” I managed to say, despite the disappointment I was feeling.

“But that’s not what you want.” She whispered, and I shook my head. She started to gather some of her stuff, and turned to get the waiter’s attention, when I grabbed her wrist. She turned back to me, obviously stunned, and I quickly pulled back.

“I’m sorry, I…I didn’t mean to…” I sat up straight and tried to compose some type of sentence. “Don’t get the waiter. Don’t leave. We can just…stay. And talk.” She looked me up and down, before putting her purse back down beside her.

The waiter happened to run by, seeing her signaling him. “Is everything all right over here?” He was looking in her direction, more than he was mine, as he spoke. She briefly locked eyes with me, before nodding, and asking about the food. “It’ll be right out, Miss.”

I gave a sigh of relief, and she laughed a little bit. The conversation went on. She might have been treating it a little bit more like a meal with an old friend than she was a date, but I got to be that old friend. I got to sit across from this beautiful girl, hearing her laugh, and just talking. Even if it was just for a little while.

A few minutes later, the food arrived. I was happy for the distraction. He shot me a look as he placed the food on the table, as if he was sizing me up. Since my date had wanted to leave a few minutes earlier, one might accuse me of manhandling her. She must have looked uncomfortable when the waiter came by before. I felt a heat of embarrassment creep up my back and wanted to shove my face into my hands and apologize.

“Thank you.” she said to the waiter, but he didn’t leave straight away.

“Are you sure everything’s all right over here?” He said it as if he was asking about the food, but I knew what he was referring to. She was quick to reply and must have read my mind, because she just smiled and laughed.

“We’re all right.” She assured him. “And besides, he’s too scrawny to do anything to me.” The waiter gave her a wary smile, before nodding and making his way back to the table. I watched him for a minute, and then turned back to my date.

“I’m sorry that I-” I tried to say, but she held her hand out to cut me off.

“It’s fine.” She smiled. I don’t know if it was a genuine smile, I don’t know if she actually forgave me, but I knew that I wanted to make this work for a little while longer. The conversation seemed easier; we chatted and laughed a lot. I had ordered a wrap and her salad. My meal came with olives. I hated olives. As I ate, I found a little mountain of olives growing on the corner of my plate.

-

It had been a few months since our date at the cafe, and Analia and I had been keeping in touch. I was taking her out to dinner once a week, since that was about the only time I got to see her. She was working across town, in the opposite direction to me.

She was working in an office that came with the daily routines, and daily boredoms an office job can bring. “It's just until I can find the right job with travel opportunities.” She had said. It still hurt when she talked about how much she wanted to travel; I loved the time with her, but I liked my city; my house, my job. I didn’t want change, yet every time I saw her, my heart tried to convince me otherwise.

Today was our weekly meetup, at a restaurant of my choosing, since she chose last week. I parked my little red car outside of her apartment building, and called her. I debated on ringing the apartment buzzer and meeting her at the door, but she had told me the buzzer doesn’t work. The ringing went on for a few minutes, before the sound of her voice broke through.

“Heyy! You downstairs?” She sounded cheerful, as she always did when I came to pick her up. “I’m just grabbing my purse and I’ll be right down.” There was a slight ‘beep’ as she hung up. I opened my car door, and made my way towards the tall building just as she was walking outside.

“Hi.” I whispered, standing in front of her while she was wearing this beautiful lavender dress. She must have been wearing high heels, because she was taller than I remembered. She was carrying her purse on her left shoulder, which I noticed as I walked beside her.

“Hi.” I think she even blushed! I noticed she wasn’t in her normal casual wear; she was wearing something a bit more formal today. I had told her we’d be going somewhere slightly fancier tonight. I had only ever been once before, and it might have been the best food I’ve ever eaten.

I walked around to the passenger side of my car with her, and opened the door. Who said chivalry was dead?! She chuckled a little bit as she got into the car. The restaurant was only a few minutes away, and thankfully it was really empty, allowing us the choice of tables. There were vanilla candles lighting the tables, and a grand piano on a stage in the middle of the restaurant. There was a little clearing in front of the stage formed by the tables. We ordered a fondue to share, and they brought out bread to start. It was thin, crispy garlic bread brought out in a little basket, lined with red, cloth napkins.

I saw a man walk onto the stage, but I didn’t notice he was the pianist until the music began. The melody of the piano travelled around the room as the waiter brought a pot of cheese fondue and placed it onto the fondue burner. After a while, the fondue started to bubble, and we dipped vegetables, potatoes and bread into the cheesy liquid. We listened to the music and chatted lightly about our days. I had been visiting junk yards on my days off, and I’m pretty sure I was boring her with car parts, but she laughed when I tried doing impressions of the country men selling me all their junk. After a little while, the pot started to empty, and the sounds of chatter filled the restaurant. The pianist played his last note of whatever song he was playing, paused for a few minutes to make the ending obvious, and then flipped the page in his book before playing the next song. Immediately, Analia jumped up.

“I love this song!” In a moment, she was standing beside the table, looking at me expectantly. I looked at her, confused as to what she was doing. Analia rolled her eyes at me, and tugged at my sleeve. I was wearing something somewhat fancy, but with a few casual aspects, and I definitely wasn’t ready to stand in front of a room full of other people, all enjoying their meals. “Come dance with me!” she said, trying to pull me out of the booth.

“I don’t know how to dance!” I complained, but she wouldn’t give in. She dragged me to the center of the restaurant, in front of the piano, where there was a clearing. A few people stopped and stared, but the pianist looked pleased, and so did Analia. She guided my hands to her waist, and rested her own arms on my shoulders. She swayed from side to side, slowly walking me around the clearing, all while smiling and laughing as I stepped on her foot or nearly tripped over the stage. The song was slow, but the melody was beautiful, and it wasn’t long before we were both laughing as we danced around.

I made an attempt to twirl her around when the music gave way for some faster movement, but she only did a half circle and nearly fell over under my guidance. I felt my face go red, but she just laughed. At that moment, I couldn’t have cared less about anybody else; anything else. I was dancing with the most beautiful woman, in a wonderful restaurant, all accompanied by slow piano music. As the song came to an end, I realized that this was the woman I wanted to be with. I wanted to make this work; I wanted to be with her, so if I had to move around constantly so that she could explore the world, I would do it, because I would be doing it with her.

-

It's amazing to think Analia and I have been together for almost a year. I had moved into her apartment, not long after the fancy restaurant, so that we could be together before and after work. She had this beautiful balcony off her dining room, and comfy furniture everywhere. The apartment was filled with vibrant colours, paintings, and family photos. I was standing on her balcony, watching the sky turn from shades of blue into pinks, oranges, and yellows. The sun was setting ahead of me, and the breeze was soft on my face. I heard the door slide open, as Analia stepped out beside me and lent on the railings.

“I have something for you.” I spoke softly as I pulled a long, white box out of my pocket. She turned so that we were standing face to face, and I opened the box to reveal an old watch. Analia was obsessed with vintage things, and had been talking about getting a watch for a while now. Her eyes went wide as she reached out to touch the leather watch band. It was an analog watch with a blue casing around the dials that matched her eyes.

“Thank you!” She threw her arms around my neck and nearly knocked me over in the process. I struggled to stabilize myself while not dropping the watch, and Analia pulled herself back. “Sorry…” She giggled.

“I made sure it had a new battery in it. Replacing batteries today seems like such an old thing.” I tightened the watch around her wrist. She threw her arms around my neck again. This time, I grabbed her waist and pulled her in closer to me. There we stood, watching the sunset from her balcony, and there was nowhere I’d have rather been.

-

I was laying on our bed, in Analia’s apartment, as she sat with a book. There was a little mirror on my bedside table, but I couldn’t remember why I put it there. The large windows portrayed a view of the sunset; it was the same type of view I saw 3 years ago, when I gave Analia her watch. The room was still full of those same vibrant colours, but photos of me and my wife now stretched across the walls. Our wedding had been small, with only close friends and family being invited. While the wedding took place near home, our honeymoon was spent travelling the world. Our jobs allowed us to travel frequently, just as Analia had wanted, but still gave us a place to feel at home in, like I wanted.

“We should probably start packing for our trip.” Analia said, without looking up from her book. “The plane will be a few hours long, and we’ll be there for a couple of days.” I pulled myself up so that I was sitting on the bed. She was wearing her watch, as she always did.

“What time do we leave tomorrow?” I asked.

“8 pm.” I went to check the clock beside my bed, but that old thing hadn’t worked in a few months.

“What time is it?” She put her book down, and checked her watch.

“...Time for your meds…” She whispered, and smiled weakly. I felt confused.

“I’m not on any medication?” The bedroom door swung open as a nurse walked into the room. “Who are you?” I shouted, but she ignored me. The air around me started to shift as the vibrant colours faded into dull grays and blues, and the photos of us disappeared. The sunset out the window turned to a cloudy, gray sky, and Analia started to fade. I felt a sense of panic creep in, unsure who the nurse was, where I was, or what was happening to my wife. The panic was followed by a sharp pain throughout my body as I tried to jump out of bed.

“Shhh…” Analia tried to calm me, and I felt the nurse push me back into the bed. “It’s ok. Just relax, the nurse is here to help you.”

“Help me? I don’t -” I started, but she did that thing with her hand to cut me off.

“Honey…I’m gone…” She grew pale, and her hands started to fade, as if she was disappearing from reality. “You need to let go…” The fear was overwhelming and the physical pain shot through my body any time I tried to move. I turned onto my side, and saw the mirror on my bedside table, next to the broken clock. I grabbed the little mirror and held it up to my face. It didn’t reflect the face of a younger man, but instead a man with a head of gray hair, and wrinkles.

I tried to climb out of bed, as memories of my wife flashed in my mind. The nurse started calling out to somebody in the hallway. Suddenly, the wonderful memories of my wife faded into the pain I felt that night. That night we were supposed to drive to the airport, when she suddenly collapsed. Instead of onto a plane, flying towards another trip around the world, we drove to the hospital. I waited outside as she was rushed into surgery, when the nurse came outside to tell me she was leaving. I held her hand, as her heartbeat faded, and that was it. I have no memory of sleep after that; no memory of feeling at peace.

And now I was sitting in this dull hospital room, surrounded by people I didn’t know. I was wearing Analia’s watch, but it hadn’t worked since she passed. I felt something sharp pierce my skin as the nurse continued to hold me down. Analia was still standing at the end of the bed, smiling the way she did when she had been worried about me.

“We’re going to travel the world, as soon as you get out of this boring place.” She told me, as she faded away completely.

“The medication is working…” I heard the nurse whisper to somebody else in the room, but I couldn’t have cared less. At that moment, I couldn’t have cared less about anybody else; anything else. My beautiful wife, the love of my life, my Analia was gone. I felt the tears start to stream down my face, because it felt like I was reliving the night that she died. I turned my head to face the bedside table, and noticed the old clock was working. 6 pm on a gray September night. How I would have given anything to watch the sunset with Analia again and now I could. I closed my eyes, remembering the love and grief for my wife. Now, we would watch the sunsets together for eternity.