Note: Content warning is for the Act being implied but not shown.
Renascence
“Are you gonna finish that?" I jerked as I remembered that I was still sitting at the counter of a diner. I glanced in the direction of the voice, finding a middle-aged waitress with a bored look and tired eyes. She was pointing at my half-eaten lemon meringue pie, itching to clear off the counter and begin closing, the hour was late last I checked, and I had no idea how long I had been lost in my own thoughts.
“Yeah, I-I’m done with it, thanks.” I pushed the plate away, giving her my best ‘I’m sorry’ face.
As she went into the kitchen I looked around, the place was empty, only three other people sitting in booths scattered about the place. They were all quietly watching the television that was mounted on the wall above the front counter.
Without even needing to glance, I remembered why I had become so lost in thought.
I believed I was in shock. I honestly don’t know how I would tell, I had never experienced it before, but the sensation was so novel that I was convinced that I was feeling ‘shock’ of some kind.
My eyes flicked to the news report for not even a second and I already regretted it. I didn’t feel sickened, or afraid. Perhaps, what I was feeling was akin to the other patrons of the diner?
As though my thoughts manifested it, one of those few patrons took a seat next to me at the counter.
“Did you ever think you would be out in the middle of nowhere at a time like this?”
He didn’t even look at me while asking the question, his eyes locked to the broadcast that I was trying so desperately to avoid. None of it would be real as long as I didn’t see it. If I refused that something as horrific as that could be real.
“No…I didn’t.” I gave him a curt answer, hoping he would take the hint and leave me alone.
“Almost makes you think of how lucky we had been previously, no fears, no anticipation. It’s weird, I always thought that when I was confronted by reality in this manner, I would be somewhere far away, sipping Mai Tais on a beach. Alas, even in my dreams I was far too unrealistic. Of course, it would happen at the very dinner I have been going to since I was a choir boy, forced by my daddy to attend church every damn Sunday.”
I grew uncomfortable with his rambling; rallying against his unintended method of grounding me back into the situation of which I wished to both mentally and emotionally escape from.
“Hey man, I appreciate the commiserating, but I kinda just wanna be alone until you know…,” I paused, hoping he wouldn’t be too put off at my rudeness. He gave me a wry smile and a pat on the back before he went back to his booth and looked out the window into the cold, dark night.
I had always been a loner, and one would assume that under the current circumstances, I would be welcoming company by the armful.
Again, I sat alone. Only this time I started to feel the pressure of the news broadcast as it pressed down upon my chest. The shock had faded, leaving only fear and regret.
All the sudden the news cut out, a blaring warning sound erupting from the TV instead. I plugged my ears hoping that my continuing ignorance would allow me some sort of clemency.
“Clemency for what?” I mumbled to myself, unsure why that word had popped into my head. Maybe I thought of myself as being justly punished, somewhere deep down. A place where I stored all my unfocused hate. Every argument I could have won if I had time to think. That feeling when you walk through a doorway and your shirt catches one of its metallic pieces, causing you to whip around and hit it with what you saw as justifiable behavior; only to then regret hurting yourself worse than that door ever could. An anger that came from doubt, from the possibility that I failed those who trusted in me. I taught high school physics for over thirty years, and while I am able to say I am proud of many of my students, there will always be that anger and doubt that I maybe I could have done more, that if I had just been encouraging enough rather than strict, that maybe all of my students would lead better lives. I know it's unfair to judge myself this way, but I could never help dredging up these thoughts whenever I found myself in a situation which demanded abrupt reflection.
Before I could further commiserate, a large bang came from the back kitchen. It sounded like a pot or pan had crashed to the floor. If I really strained my hearing, I thought, I could faintly make out two voices arguing with each other.
“If you’re just gonna sit here and wait, giving up before you even try, then I’m getting out of here!” The voice was had bass and grit to it, likely an older man. The voice shouting back at the man was feminine, the waitress was the only woman I had seen in the place since I arrived.
“Fine just abandon the business your family has been running since forever! Just leave me alone with all those strange men sitting out there!” Another bang could be heard after the waitress had stopped yelling. The stomping of large feet quickly made its way to the dining area.
“For the last time! If you wanna stay here, you can, but don’t go blaming me for having the common sense to at least try something!” The man clenched his fists, pleading for the waitress to come with him.
I looked around to notice that no other patron was looking at them, they seemed sucked into their phones or similarly lost in thought like I was. That had felt like a lifetime ago. Time moved at a crawl, every moment stretching out as I avoided the television.
The front door to the diner opened and slammed shut as the large older man made his way out to a truck, taking off as fast as he could. I could hear the waitress screaming out to him, her voice laced with hysterics, fear, and anger.
It felt like ages before she finally came back in. Her eyes were red and puffy, having cried all her tears out, she looked defeated. Her eyes seemed empty, as though all her hope left when that man drove away. The waitress made her way through the diner and back into the kitchen before I could say anything. That is if I even wanted to say anything, which I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to, right? This was the only time in my life where doing the polite thing wouldn’t really matter. It was everyone for themselves, at least, those who weren’t surrounded by their family and friends… like me.
My reverie was broken as the klaxon call of sirens began to wind up. The apathy in the building changed rapidly into tension, palpable, as though the barometric pressure had rapidly gone up. The sirens, while loud, were still far away since I was sitting in a diner that was off the highway, in the middle of nowhere. Without meaning to, I caught a few words from the emergency broadcast on the television. “If you are able… get under… can last hundreds of years… grab as much shelf stable…” the static interference finally knocked out the signal, leaving the sound of droning static, white noise which at one point I would have found relaxing to fall asleep too, now though, it only made the tension in the room worse as the sounds of talking coming from the TV no longer filled the room. A deeply uncomfortable silence pervaded, each person sweating from their brow as their foot tapped the floor rapidly, knees bouncing with anxiety.
A loud bang that caused me to jump out of my seat came from the kitchen. A sound of thrashing ensued, then ended as suddenly as it had started. My mind refused to speculate on what happened back there, since it soon wouldn’t matter. I looked at the man who had talked to me what felt like eons ago. Our eyes met, a moment of human connection, no dialogue, just the emotions we could see lying behind our eyes. Strangely, knowing that there were others with me, thinking the same things I was, it gave me a sense of calm that I had not felt since the start of the emergency broadcast, which had left me in a numb stupor. I mouthed out a ‘thank you’ to him, knowing that just being here for each other at least counted for something. With that calm did come the regret of not consoling the waitress, thinking that it would have been the polite thing to do, but in truth, it would have been the human thing to do.
As I finished that thought, a bright light filled everything I saw. All silhouettes became washed out by the blinding radiance. As quickly as it came it faded back down to a more manageable, yet still hard to look at luminosity. The ground shook as though an earthquake was beginning; not a strong one, but still large enough to make you unsteady on your feet. As the rumbling grew and the temperature of the room rose exponentially, I closed my eyes and thought about all those highschoolers I had taught physics to before my retirement. I hoped that they would be alright, that some would make it and use whatever I had taught them to bring back a world that was pushed to the brink by man's thirst for war and control, his insatiable need to covet another’s resources. Lastly, I thought of my wife who had passed away two years ago to the day. I was glad that I was able to drive up to her grave one last time. I was happy that I would see her once again.
Everything went white, no feeling of pain or fear, happy to see those I missed throughout my life, yet still melancholic at the thought of those left behind, scattering to pick up the pieces. I knew that it would end up alright. While humanity had a habit of destroying, the
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.