Unclaimed Pancakes

**TW: Animal Suffering**

31 December 1999

Wandering the streets as a puppy, Pancakes saw families in the park. Their laughter and cheer were as painful to him as it was joyous to them. He didn’t fault the dogs' joy or obliviousness that he was tucked behind the trashcan nearby, observing them and how he wanted to be like them. He only dreamt of the day he would have a family, too. He had been on his own for so long, without his siblings, without a pack, and no guidance to get a family. As it turned out, a twist of fate would resolve this for him.

More than a year later, Pancakes flew through the air, sun beaming off his bright fur; he could not help but to feel a surge of joy while catching a frisbee in his mouth with a great leap at the park with girl, boy, and their parents—a family of his own! He was living his dream; animal control catching him and putting him up for adoption had turned out to be the thing that would transform everything. 

Initially, he could have never imagined this would be a good thing. Surrounded by the cacophony of loud barking dogs, the thick air was warmed by the breath of each bark. Overwhelmed by the steady stream of people who came, glanced at him momentarily and moved on without a second thought. He was scared. He did not understand. He would sometimes get pulled from his overpacked kennel to spend time with people before without connection, being returned, never to see them again. There was such a strong odor of territorial markings and defecation from the other dogs that he couldn’t even determine where his territory could be.

Every once in a while, the shelter workers came to his cage specifically, and he felt like he had finally caught someone's attention. He felt a glimmer of hope, but they just moved him out of the way to spray out his cage with powerful jets of water, a flood so strong that it looked like it could knock him over. After this, he would again be left alone, just sitting there, hearing cage after cage getting cleaned out after his. How was this prison going to lead him to his dream? All he could do was hope he had a family and they would find him. That someone would come to choose him, but that didn’t seem too likely. Then, on another hot and dusty day, boy, girl, and their parents showed up. He thought it would be the same as before, observed without thought, visited without commitment. But after they had come in to see him, they didn’t just leave. They took him with them, and was it actually happening … had his family found him? 

At the time, he was unfamiliar with the people who had taken him. He was nervous, torn between fear and hope, and contemplated making a run for it or staying. He didn’t want to be on the loose again, but his recent interaction with people was a depressing and scary experience, not reflective of the happy families in the park at all. He fought the urge to flee, observed their gentle gestures and warm smiles, and opened a door in his heart. He came to love them as much as they seemed to adore him. Each passing day was the realization that this family was the companionship he had long yearned for. A great family, one of his very own, one he could never live without!

Pancakes and his family enjoyed their time together. They had fun times running through the sprinklers in the backyard, him chasing the little birds he swore to catch one day. Walking the neighborhood, taking in the scenery, and sometimes even seeing other dogs living equally fulfilling lives. He patrolled their neighborhood and was rewarded with a shower of cuddles and scratches behind his ears. He was a familiar and loved character in his neighborhood; no one shooed him away anymore, and everyone liked him. Every day was an adventure for the family he had become an integral part of. Pancakes curled up on their laps in the evening and slept at the foot of their beds, switching which bed he slept in every night to have time with each family member. His family's slow, peaceful breaths assured him he was not alone and would never be alone again. He proudly guarded their house through the night; they needed him as much as he needed them, and their lives had become intrinsically intertwined.

His heart fluttered at the thought that he had become the happy dog he had once seen in the park, the dog he had seen on Halloween night, dressing up with the family. His moments of uncertainty were replaced with thoughts of the glorious feast they called Thanksgiving - and the aroma he had previously been excluded from. He can almost taste the big bone with the red bow they gave him at Christmas, one of his favorite gifts. He has a deep sense of belonging and purpose as he helps care for the baby as if it were his own. Now, as the New Year approaches, he is full of dreams of laughter, family, and belly rubs, surrounded by the people who have embraced him into their lives.

Loved. Warmth. Comfort. He knows how much his family adores him; he had the best life—before snapping back to reality, legs twitching, eyes fading, the sun glaring off his light fur, dying alone on a desert road, struck by a car, knowing he never had a family. Knowing he was never chosen, never seen. Tears formed in his eyes as his dream fell away. The pain took hold, and the tears rolled from his eyes as he heard humans. They could help him.

“It’s the end of the world!” Intoxicated voices laugh and shout in the distance from the speeding, swerving car that left as soon as it arrived.