Freckles

There's something about the ocean that draws me to it. Like people it carries different emotions. Sometimes the waves pounce the sand as if trying to keep a grasp on it, other times it sits peacefully moving to the dance of the wind. Today is one of those days its grasping towards it, just like I am grasping to the last ounce of feelings I have. Grasping. Grasping towards the memories I once had with my mother. Her warm and filling laughter whenever someone made jokes, her bright and shiny big teeth that shone brightly when she smiled, and her kind and warm amber eyes that showed compassion. I remember when I turned 15, she took me to a nail salon to get a mani Its been a year. A year and I still feel the overwhelming pain that thumps on my heart. Instead I sit here watching the waves go by, the birds screech and squak, and the clouds stand still. I watch as the bugs fly around and suddenly, I hear a yelp. I ignore it. Must be some sort of bird feasting on the old trash that scatters the ground. Suddenly, I hear it again. I look around for some sign of a bird but there's none. And yet, another yelp. I follow the sound to see a little white furry animal with black spots covering it as if though they were freckles overlooking some sort of rag. I take a step closer to take a good look and the creature scatters at the sound of my steps and and jumps to hide behind a bush. Lying there on what I thought was a rag is a dying dog with flys starting to circle all around it. I shoo around the flies and take a look at this dying creature. The dog who's brown eyes stay dimly open and its mouth who wheezes whatever breath of life it has left. I think of calling my foster parents, perhaps asking them to take the creature somewhere where it can get help. But then I remember, perhaps they're at some sort of banquet in Bangladesh or on a cruise exploring Puerto Rico. I start to see the little white with black spotted dog appear from behind the bush. Quietly staring at me as it approaches what looks like to be its dying mother. The dying creature looks at the pup, and makes a small wheezing yelp. I wonder if this is what it must have been for my dying mother. Minutes pass and soon the dying creature stops its wheezing and its eyes stay shut. I listen as the dog howls for minutes, soon digging a hole as if in search for a bone, only to pull its mother by the mouth as it tries to drag it. I try to step in though the dog looks at me in question. I watch it finish its business on its own until it lies down sadly on what is now a covered hole where its mother lies. I pull out my backpack and see a ham sandwich my foster parent's housekeeper made me before leaving me unattended. Im about to take a bite of it since my stomach growls of hunger, but then, the little sad pup looks up, tilting its head. I stop and take a piece of salami out and reach my hand. The spotted pup looks at it, and slowly approaches it. Quickly but smoothly, it grabs it out of my hand and begins chewing on it as it sits back on the grave of its mother. I get closer and lay down on the sand, looking up at the big and fluffy clouds that cover most of the blue sky as I slowly eat my sandwich. The freckled pup climbs on my stomach as if asking for more, and I oblige. Once finished with the other piece of salami it lies down against my body, with its head down and mourning, letting out low and quiet howls. "You know my mother died today too," I tell the creature. Though it must not understand me I continue, "I miss her too." Droplets began to slightly fall down my cheek, I feel my heart pound even more and sit up, criss cross apple sauce, and begin to cry quietly, drowning the noise with my now wet hands. I feel something soft on my legs and look down on the little pup, looking up at me in sadness. "You know I never had someone to be there for me when it happened. I just woke up one day and she was gone. Not even a proper funeral service, I was just taken away to the foster care system and left to deal with my own sorrows of her death." The pup lays down with its eyes still up on me. I begin to slowly pet it, feeling my hand go over its soft fur though feel bits of matted hair. "You know what?" The pup lifts its head and tilts it as if in question. I smile and wipe what was left of my tears and sniffle a bit, "Ill be here for you."

I begin to walk back towards my beach house, or well, my foster parents' beach house, and the little freckled pup trailing behind me. We walk up the stairs towards my bedroom. Even after being here for a year, everything still feels foreign to me. As if Im detached to world around me. Im about to drown in new thoughts but am suddenly startled by the little freckly pup who runs into my bed, jumping around until it lays down in comfort. I sit down on the bed, looking at the picture frames of my mother. The spotted little pup gets up and lys down beside me as I give a small grin towards the photos of my mother. "This was taken on fathers day," I laugh remembering when she dressed up with a mustache and suit simply to go with me to the father daughter dance that I missed every year of elementary until that one day. "Even though my dad hadn't been around, my mom was great covering as both. She was the one always driving me to school, giving me advice about boys, helping with my homework," I trail off as the little pup jumps off the bed and sits before me, tilting its head. "You know you're the first friend, or well, dog for the matter that Ive truly spoken to about my feelings." The dog tilts its head again, and I chuckle, "can I call you Freckles?" The dog barks and jumps on the bed, as I lay down I look at the top of the ceiling, where white clouds are painted on the pale grey ceiling. "I miss you mom," I whisper, and I fall asleep with Freckles besides me.