letter to Death

Hello all, this is my letter to death. Death seeps into every aspect of life, no matter how far you can run. It destroys insides, relationships, and minds. Death consumes all, at one point or another.

To Death, 

I hope to never find you again. You come in the dead of night in a pool of sweat over my forehead. You come on the most beautiful of moments, taking everything in your path. You are a restless regret that cannot be found. Beings everywhere fear you to great extents, but I am angry with you. I have not feared you, and therefore have put myself at risk. But I am still here. The ones you have intersected are not. The people you have taken from the ones I love have been a tremendous loss of my soul. It is ripped and detached, watching my body from a distance. I miss each mind you take more than the last. I have lost good people to you, whether directly or not. The relationships that have ended and the tears that have been shed are atrocious. I beg you to stop in your tracks. 

You must leave my world alone. The people I have left are few, but grand. They have carried my burdens on their own shoulders before I even knew it.  I cannot lose anymore. I have begged to take their places and gotten nothing but deep sadness. Each day is a constant reminder of the life I will live and the lives they will not. I go through scenarios of those that you have, still standing and living next to me. I have nightmares of the friendships tossed in the wind because of you. I am so tired, death; so tired. I have seen you take happiness out of my mother’s face. I have seen you reach into the hands of a drunk and destroy lives. I say with remorse that you are consuming me. Every passing thought coming from your angle drives me insane. I am scared to do anything these days, so as to not provoke you. You drive my life forces until I am too tired to live. I cannot go on until the relentlessness of your selfishness ceases. The cruelty you pursue is unimaginable. 

I will give you anything. I will give you everything. I have tried to give you everything and you still do not stop. The never ending surrender of my mind to you washes over me in a tsunami of failure and heaviness. I would give anything to spare those around me, but you spit it back in my face. I watch the skies go by each day and think more of you than the abyss above. The stars are no longer enough to keep you from my grasp. You have weaponized your powers to take and take. I do not want to take anymore. I want to give to you. Please let me give to you what they can no longer have. My life is no more important than the next, so why would you do this? Release me in their places, I beg often. The torment of your desire and fear drives my every thought and carves itself into my actions daily. I do nothing without you creeping across my mind. You have taken everything from me, and I have helped you. I have been too weak to fight back. But no more. You have taken too much. I am not sad, I am angry. 

No more will I knock on your door. No more will I shed tears under your protection. This is a menial life with you. I am not afraid of death. I have never been afraid, which is where a differing fear stems. Should I fear you? I fear you in others, not myself. I do not hold my value the same as the people around me. They are far greater than me and do not deserve your presence. My life, though, is okay. You can have it if it means that another is well. That is most frightening. But I am not afraid of you. You are weak and nothing. You cannot over take anymore. The loss I have seen you place in others has sparked my sense to be alive more than ever before. I never wanted this life, but those losing theirs around me left and right has made me understand the gravity. I am living a life they can no longer live. It is not fair of me to place my life so low when others who cherish it meet their demise. I am not afraid of you anymore. You should be afraid. You should fear those that shifted their sadness into anger. You are dangerous, but so are your consequences. 

I leave with a small thanks, wrapped in hostility. I now see your value in me. You had to take everything so I could see. Well I do now. People mean more to me than ever, but I am cautious with my connections, as you have taught. Connecting with the death of every single being is overwhelming, and leads only to more loss. I have learned that from you. I have trained my chaos and channeled it into passion. You have not. You will stay chaotic forever and hold it over the world. But it won't be this way forever. The burden you place on families is undeniable, but does not have to consume. It brings people together more than ever, and brings out those who truly support. I no longer allow you to take, but only give. GIve life into death. You are chased by life, and it follows you everywhere. Acknowledge it, and it will consume. Dont, and you destroy yourself. A funny thing, you are. Coming from light instead of darkness. Coming in storms instead of sun. so unreliable and unforgivable. But not inescapable. Death, you will no longer consume my mind. The lessons I've learned from you are great and heavy, but you are no longer in control. 

Goodbye Death.