Everything I Couldn’t Say

My Dearest Child,

The time has come to tell you the truth. I suspect there are some things you already know, but there is so much more.

Enclosed with this confession you will find $280,400 in cash. The entirety of my wealth.

I pray it will aid you in whatever you choose to do with the information here. And I hope it will be enough to secure your freedom.

Once, I knew your father and as you know we grew up together. He was a good man, until he wasn’t. I couldn’t say what it was that changed him, but after ten years of friendship he became someone I no longer recognized.

As I write this I cannot help the fear rising within me. Even after death, the legacy of your father lingers around us all. His sheer force of will, and all he was capable of. I would not be surprised if he summoned treacherous powers from beyond the grave to haunt me for writing this to you. But even so, a man must honour his word.

It has been 25 years and I have kept my promise.

I cannot express how sorry I am that I was not strong enough to tell you this sooner. The weight of this guilt has steadily eroded my soul day after day. I am not foolish enough to think you might forgive me, and I shall never take another easy breath for all my years.

As long as I live I will not be able to express the remorse I feel in keeping this from you for so many years. I could tell you why I chose that but I fear no explanation would suffice.

Despite this grave betrayal, I pray you know how much I have always loved you.

Watching you grow has been the greatest honour of my life. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

The world is yours, your fathers words may be difficult to dismiss but you must prove him wrong. Honour your heart, your dreams, your will and fight for the life you deserve. That is my wish for you.

You asked me once and to my eternal regret, I lied to you that day. But I have longed to tell you everyday since.

Your daughter is alive.

She is beautiful, kind, unbelievably intelligent and as lovely as her mother. She is happy. She lives only a weeks ride away in a small village northeast of your father’s estate. The people who raised her are humble and hardworking, they adore their little girl. I have met them on several occasions, providing them with food and clothing. They only suspect that I am an unusually charitable traveller.

There is a man in that village whom I have paid every fortnight to keep a close eye on her. He reports to me every Sunday of her activities, relationships, education and health. I have kept every single letter from the past decades. Through them I was given the opportunity to know her, even in small moments I can see that she is a wonderful girl. You should be proud.

I have left the letters with this journal so you may read them for yourself.

I know you will grieve for the time you have lost. The time in which you might have raised your child, and watched her grow. A time in which your heart could be whole, as I know it has not been since you lost her.

And this breaks my heart all the more. She does not know anything of you. Your father told the family who raised your daughter that her mother was dead. If you choose to meet her, it will surely be a difficult experience.

My heart aches for you my dear. For you both. For the life you could have lived; but please take some solace in the fact that she has been loved. Her life is full and bright, she wants for nothing.

However as you and I both know, she has a destiny. She has purpose beyond her imagination, it is your responsibility to show her that destiny. Teach her as only you can, open her eyes to the world. She has more power than she could possibly know. The very fact that she is alive is proof of that truth.

Your father left her with people who had nothing, assuming she was catch a sickness or other early on and die. Or be starved through the winters. But he forgot how strong you were, and that the strength of your blood runs in her body. He was a foolish man indeed.

This secret has weighed heavy on my mind so many years. I shall be glad to relive myself of it, and give you this last gift as I do. I cannot give you back the time that has passed us. I have beseeched the heavens to give me another chance, to erase that cursed day. So now all I have is this. And the hope that you can be better than I.

I wish I could have done more for her and for you. I should have protected you both from the wrath of your wretched father. If I had seen him for who he was, I could have stopped him instead of believing he would change. I should have listened to your mother.

That is a regret that will never relinquish its hold on me. I have made countless mistakes, but that I say, is by far the worst.

I have set James to take charge of my affairs. He will be in touch with you regarding your inheritance as well as the running of my business which I will leave in your name upon my demise. I am old now, I have wasted my years in cowardice and servitude. I have nothing left to give you but these words. May you one day find this journal and these words.

Her name is Melanie.

Find your daughter, and love her as your father could not love you.