ELIM CIVOLUDARS MEMOIRS – CHRISTMAS TIME

The holiday season is approaching swiftly; this year, there's a good chance of a "white" one. It's been years since I've enjoyed snow on December 25th. I anticipate it eagerly, much like a child awaiting Santa Claus, even though I'll likely spend the day alone or at work. The twinkling lights will only indicate that it's a special day, a subtle reminder of the festive season. This has become a tradition for me, one that I cherish.

Despite this time of year being a familiar affair, I look forward to it each year. It's not because of religious beliefs—I don't subscribe to any—or a love for shopping—I'm not particularly fond of hunting for discounts. For me, the magic lies in the seven days from Christmas to New Year's. During this time, the world pauses, and a sense of wonder and possibility fills the air. It's a period when anything feels achievable, and the ordinary transforms into the extraordinary.

It's a time of laughter, goodwill, songs, and socializing. Simultaneously, it marks the end of the year, offering us an opportunity to reflect on our accomplishments or lack thereof and to catch our breath before plunging into an uncertain future. This festive period allows us to reconnect with loved ones and create cherished memories, even as we prepare to bid farewell to the current year and welcome the new one.

This year, 2012, has been incredibly interesting for me. I use the term "interesting" deliberately because it aptly describes the rollercoaster that has been my life. Reflecting on the entirety of the past year, it encompassed everything one could imagine. I found myself homeless, underwent surgery, attempted suicide (unsuccessfully), and narrowly escaped a robbery that nearly cost me my life! Can anyone else detect the irony in those preceding two sentences?

The year was a whirlwind of extreme highs and lows, each event profoundly impacting me. Homelessness brought a harsh reality check, teaching me resilience and the importance of community support. The surgery was a physical and emotional challenge, yet it also became a turning point for better health. The suicide attempt was a dark chapter, a moment of despair that ultimately led me to seek help and find renewed purpose. The robbery was a terrifying ordeal, but it also reminded me of the preciousness of life and the unpredictability of fate.

Those events, though challenging, have only made me stronger and more resilient.

These experiences taught me invaluable lessons about strength, vulnerability, and the human spirit's capacity to endure and overcome.

As I look forward to the upcoming year, I am deeply grateful for having survived these ordeals and hope the future holds brighter and more stable days. With its promise of renewal and joy, the holiday season feels especially significant this year as I embrace its spirit and look ahead with cautious optimism.

But all that is in the past now. The festive season is here, and with my salary due a few days prior, I have every reason to rejoice. Despite all I've endured and survived, I can reward myself with a smile.

Last year was particularly memorable because I regained my teeth after six long years, restoring my smile and a significant part of my confidence.

The year before was notable as it marked the beginning of my professional stand-up career, a dream I had long aspired to.

This year will be remembered as pivotal as an artist, specifically a writer, as I have made significant strides in my craft.

That's why I cherish this time of year. Regardless of how the year began or the suffering, pain, and disappointments I endured during the festive season, upon reflection, everything appears good—almost every time. I've never spent this holiday in resentment or anger. One event or moment always overshadowed all the negativity and gave me the strength to persevere.

That's the beauty of the season. It serves as a powerful reminder as if it's saying, "You made it! It was tough, and there were moments when you felt like giving up, but here you are at the finish line! You're a winner!" This festive period encapsulates a sense of completion and achievement, no matter how arduous the journey has been. It's a time to celebrate our victories, big or small, and to feel a sense of accomplishment.

My holiday won't be filled with melodies among friends and family, noisy children, and tables laden with cakes. My celebration is different, tailored to suit me—but it's still special.

This season is a time of giving, mercy, and forgiveness. It's a period imbued with a unique magic when grand wishes seem just within reach. Even though my celebration may lack the traditional hallmarks, it carries the essence of what makes this season special. This is a time when even the smallest gesture can change someone's life, and that's the magic I speak of—the ability to touch a stranger's heart with a single act, thereby saving two lives: yours and theirs.

Instead of bustling gatherings, my holiday is spent in quiet reflection and simple joys. I'll stroll through a snow-covered park, feeling the crisp winter air on my face and admiring the festive lights that adorn the trees. I'll indulge in a favorite book or write, letting my thoughts and creativity flow freely in the tranquil holiday atmosphere.

These moments of solitude and peace allow me to appreciate the beauty and stillness of the season.

The magic of this time lies in its ability to inspire acts of kindness and compassion. It's a time when people open their hearts, even to strangers. A smile, a kind word, or a small act of generosity can profoundly impact. These gestures create ripples of goodwill that extend far beyond the holiday season, touching lives in ways we may never fully understand.

This period is also a time of reflection on the past year. Looking back, I think about the challenges I've faced and the people who have helped me along the way. I remember the moments of kindness that lifted my spirits, and I feel deeply grateful. This reflection strengthens my resolve to pay it forward, to be that beacon of hope for someone else.

In my own way, I embrace the spirit of the holidays by reaching out to others. It could be volunteering at a local shelter, donating to a charity, or offering a listening ear to someone in need. These acts, though small, carry immense significance. They remind us that we are all connected, that our actions can make a difference, and that the season's true spirit is about love and humanity.

So, while my celebration might not feature traditional festivities, it is rich in meaning and purpose. It's a time to celebrate the human spirit's resilience, spread joy and kindness, and find magic in the simplest things. It's a reminder that, regardless of how we choose to celebrate, the essence of this season remains the same: a celebration of hope, love, and the endless possibilities that kindness can bring.

In moments of doubt, when we question our perspectives, goals, and life's purpose, it's easy to veer off course and forget why we're here and what we're meant to do. People rediscover who they are and their true essence during the holiday season. It's a time when compassion, assistance, and support abound at every turn.

Regardless of religion, skin color, or social status, the world is a wonderful place to live during those seven days.