Mirror, Mirror

Mia sat on the edge of her grandmother's bed, absently picking at the loose threads on the quilt that covered the mattress. Her mother and Aunt Janie stood by the dresser, where Aunt Janie held a copy of Gran's will in her hands. It had been only a week since Gran had passed and it felt wrong, somehow, to be here going through her stuff. Still, her mother and Aunt Janie had insisted that she be here. After all, Gran had left things for all the grandchildren.

Mia tried not to cry as she thought about all the sleepovers she'd never get to have again in this very room. This room held so many fun memories for her, from playing dress-up in Gran's fancy nightgowns with her cousin Haley to jumping on the bed and giggling as Gran tried to put fresh sheets on before one of their many "bunkin' parties", as Gran had called them. She had spent many nights curled up against Gran in her big comfy bed, smelling the honeysuckle on the night breeze that came in through the open window. It's true that those nights hadn't come as often since Mia had started middle school, but knowing now that she'd never get to have another one again hit her like a gut punch, and she fought to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Mia?" Mia's mother's voice cut through the reverie, and Mia looked to her mom, blinking quickly. "Yes, ma'am?" Mia's mother's face softened at the tears in her daughter’s eyes, and she crossed the small space to take Mia in her arms. "Oh, baby... Are you ok?" Mom's voice was soft, and Mia wrapped her arms around her mother in a loose hug. "Yes," she replied quietly. "I'm ok. Just thinking about Gran." Mia's mother pulled back and ran her hand over Mia's unruly auburn curls. Even now, when it was meant to be a comforting gesture, Mia felt like her mother was only trying to smooth the frizz of her hair. Looking up into her mother's eyes, Mia wondered what her mother thought as she looked down at her only daughter. Mia's mother, Kate, had always seemed a bit disappointed that Mia didn't inherit her beauty queen looks. Kate had grown up competing in beauty pageants all her life, with her smooth skin and silky auburn hair, and bright green eyes that lit up a room almost as much as her movie star smile- and she had the trophies to prove it. All her life, Mia had heard people comment on how beautiful her mother was, but when it came to Mia herself, people seemed to struggle finding a compliment. Mia had gotten a weird mixture of her parents' features, and it seemed to confuse people that the perfect Kate Donnelly could have a child that was anything but stunning.

At 12 years old, Mia was short and chubby, with wild curly hair like her father. A smattering of freckles covered her round nose, and her thin lips closed over teeth that needed the braces she wore to straighten them. She did have her mother's eyes, as Gran had always told her, and the color of her hair, but that seemed to be about it. Where her mother was a graceful, athletic social butterfly, Mia was clumsy, awkward, and hated sports; she preferred to settle in with a good book after school, instead of playing one of the sports her mother had tried desperately to get her interested in growing up. And even though Mia was Kate's child, all her life Mia had almost felt like Kate wished she wasn't. Even if she hadn't meant to, Kate had made Mia feel like an embarrassing disappointment her entire life.

As Mia pulled free of her mother's hug, Kate gently touched her cheek and gave Mia a small smile. "Gran left you her mirror.” "Her mirror? Why?" Mia looked over at the mirror that hung above her grandma's dresser in confusion. All the grandkids knew about Gran’s mirror. It was old, and a little bit ugly; Gran had told her once that she had decorated it by hand with seashells she had collected during a vacation in Mississippi when Kate was only 4 years old. The seashell decor didn’t match anything else in Gran’s house, but Gran loved the beach and she had insisted on keeping it up, even when Mia’s grandfather told her it was tacky and she should get rid of it. In the top right hand corner of the mirror, her Gran had hand-painted the words You are beautiful. When Mia had asked her about it years ago, Gran had smiled sadly and said "Because sometimes we need to be reminded that we are beautiful, no matter how some people make us feel."

Mia studied the mirror, trying not to feel disappointed. This was a gift from Gran; she knew she should just appreciate that Gran wanted her to have it. But why couldn’t she have left Mia some of her earrings or even the old quilt on the bed? It didn’t make much sense to her, but Mia nodded and said “Oh, ok.” As Kate and Aunt Janie turned to continue going through the will’s contents, setting things in their respective piles, Mia stood and walked out of the room. She moved down the hall through the house, her cousin’s voices in the living room muffled as she headed out the kitchen door and into Gran’s yard. As Mia sat on Gran’s glider swing, she closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the breeze blowing through the leaves of the trees.

Later that evening, Mia walked into her bedroom with the mirror and carefully laid it on the foot of her bed. She made a face as another seashell fell to the floor, and made a mental note to ask her mother to borrow her hot glue gun to fix the shells that had fallen off; she already had 3 more in her pocket. Kate entered the room a few seconds later, holding a small stack of items she had taken for Mia from Gran’s house. As Kate laid them carefully on the bed next to the mirror, Mia’s eyes lit up as she noticed Gran’s old dressing gown folded on the bottom of the pile. “You got Gran’s dressing gown for me! Thank you!” Gran’s silky dressing gown had been a favorite of Mia’s when she and Haley used to play dress-up at Gran’s house. The emerald green fabric was a little faded and the embroidered flowers were loose in a couple of spots, but that didn’t matter to Mia; she was happy to get to keep it. Kate smiled and put her hands on her hips. “Yep, I knew you would want that. Do you want me to get some Command strips so you can hang the mirror? It would probably be easier than using a nail.” Mia nodded and then held up the shell she had just picked up off the floor of her bedroom. “Yes, please. And can I borrow your glue gun? I need to fix the ones that fell off.” Kate laughed and nodded. “I’ll go grab it,” she said as she turned to head out of the room. “I didn’t think that glue Mom used would hold up too well after all these years.” Kate left to retrieve her glue gun, and Mia looked at the pile. In addition to the dressing gown, her mother had also taken a few pairs of Gran’s earrings and a couple of framed pictures of Mia with Gran over the years. Mia picked up one of the frames and placed it on the end of her dresser. She placed the other photo on the nightstand next to her bed, and then turned as Kate came back into the room with the glue gun and an extra stick of glue.

“Be careful with this,” Kate instructed, her voice warning Mia. Mia nodded and took the glue gun and the extra glue stick, feeling embarrassed as she recalled the time she’d accidentally glued a book to her bedroom floor. “I will- I promise,” Mia said softly, her eyes glancing to the burn spot on her carpet. Looking up with a sheepish smile, Mia’s eyes met Kate’s and her mother gave a wry smile before glancing around the room. “Where are you going to hang it?” Mia looked around the room, her eyes falling on a spot of blank wall next to her closet. “I guess I’ll hang it there. It should be big enough to fit.” Kate nodded in agreement, wrapping her arms around herself and running her hands up and down her upper arms as if to warm herself. “Yeah, I think it will fit there. Anyway, I’m going to start supper. Pork chops tonight.” Kate turned to leave the room again, and Mia was alone with her thoughts. 

Plugging in the glue gun, Mia waited for the glue to heat up and held up one of the shells- inspecting it. The edge was chipped, and Mia wondered if it had been that way before it fell off. Placing a small dot of glue on the back side of the shell, Mia carefully placed it onto one of the empty spots on the old wooden frame. She thought about her Gran gluing the seashells the first time they were placed, and smiled to herself, thinking about how much easier it probably would have been for Gran if she had had a glue gun back then. 

After replacing all the shells that had fallen off, Mia carefully turned the mirror over and began placing the Command strips her mother had given her onto the back side of the wooden frame. Mia removed the paper guarding the side that would stick to the wall and carried the mirror over to the closet. Moving to the side of the closet door, Mia carefully positioned the mirror where she wanted it on the wall and pressed the mirror as firmly as she could, not wanting to break any of the shells along the edges of the frame. Feeling satisfied that it was secure, Mia stepped back to examine her work. It was a little crooked, but that was ok. At least it was hung. Mia went to her bed and pulled out her diary, ready to write about the day spent at Gran’s house.

A little while later, Kate’s soft knock sounded on Mia’s door. Mia looked up from her diary, and hastily shoved the book and pen back into her nightstand drawer. Kate pretended like she hadn’t seen and smiled at Mia from the doorway. “Dinner’s ready,” she called, her melodic voice floating across the room as if she were singing. Mia placed her feet on the floor and stood up, and noticed Kate’s wistful smile as she looked at the mirror hanging on the wall. “I barely remember that trip, but I will always remember Mom talking about that man flirting with her on the beach. Dad would get so mad!” Kate giggled, shaking her head as she stepped closer to the mirror. Mia’s eyes widened and she covered her mouth as she laughed. “Another man flirted with Gran? In front of Poppa?” Kate nodded, smirking slightly. “Dad was never one to give compliments much. Mom had just cut her hair off short before that trip, and Dad told her he liked it better before- that short hair was ‘not attractive’ on women. She got upset and cried before we got to the beach. She didn’t want to get out of the car because her eyes were puffy, and she was embarrassed, but once she was on the beach, some man walked by and whistled at her and told her ‘You are beautiful’. Dad got mad that some other guy flirted with her, but Mom just said ‘He was just appreciating what you didn’t’. I think she wrote that on the mirror to remind Daddy that even if he didn’t think she looked pretty, somebody did.” Kate shook her head with a laugh. “Mom sure could be feisty sometimes.” Kate’s voice trailed off, and Mia could tell she was reliving some old memory in her mind for a moment. All of a sudden, Kate snapped back to reality and smiled to Mia. “Come on, let’s go eat.” 

Before following her mother down the hall to the dining room, Mia looked into the mirror. She examined her curly auburn hair and green eyes like her mother’s, and the round nose and thin lips she hated so much. Middle school had been so hard for her so far. Other girls made comments about the way her belly extended over the waistband of her jeans, and they made fun of her frizzy hair and the freckles on her round nose. One girl’s comment from a day when Kate had picked her up early for an orthodontist appointment always rang in the back of her mind. “Wow, Mia’s mom is so pretty- what happened to her?” Mia had never felt beautiful a day in her life. Gran’s voice echoed in her mind as she looked up at the words at the top of the mirror. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are beautiful, no matter how some people make us feel.

Suddenly it was as if Gran were standing right behind her. She could almost feel Gran’s hands on her shoulders, the warmth of her body pressed up against her back and the sweet smell of her vanilla perfume wafting through the room. Gran’s voice filled Mia’s head, as clear as if she were in the same room. You are beautiful, my sweet Mia. Mia’s eyes shot open and her mouth dropped open in a small ‘o’ shape as she felt a sense of warmth rush over her body. Just as quickly, the room felt cold, and Mia felt goosebumps rise on her skin. Breathing faster, Mia spun and looked around the room. No one was there, but Mia knew what she had felt. Gran had been there with her. 

Her green eyes filling with tears, Mia whipped her head back to look into the mirror again. In a moment, it was as if she could see herself through her grandmother’s eyes. Her auburn curls shining like a halo under the light of her bedroom’s ceiling fan, Mia lifted her chin a bit and wiped her face. Maybe she didn’t look exactly like her mom, but the freckles that dotted across her nose sat on clear, porcelain skin, and her round nose was like a little button. Her thin lips were perpetually turned up at the corners and Mia noticed that her face looked friendly, even when she wasn’t smiling. Mia imagined looking at herself through someone else’s eyes, and realized that what she saw wasn’t that bad. Maybe that meant that not everyone would compare her to her mom and wonder what happened to her. Maybe Gran was right- that even if Mom and the mean girls at school couldn’t see her as pretty, somebody could. 

As Mia walked down the hall to have dinner with her family, a bright smile stretched over her face. Gran was gone, but she had made sure that her memory would always be alive in Mia’s mirror.