making a change

Jessica looked in the mirror, she stared at her face and her hair. She leaned even closer over the sink getting a really good look at herself. She wasn't dissatisfied with her appearance; it just reminded her of her situation. She looked at her arms and the tattoos she had. She turned on the cold water and leaned over to wash her face. She still felt kind of hung over from too many beers the night before. It had been her 23^rd birthday and she had partied with some of her friends, yeah, her friends. Some of them were 30 years old and still hanging around the college crowd down near the university. There was Vicki as she spelled her name. She worked at a local theme bar as a mixologist, or that was the term she used for bartender. Then there was Arron, he was 26 and still in college working on his 3^rd major. He had nearly completed 2 degrees but then he would change his mind and switch majors at the last minute. The list went on to include a dozen or so friends. Jessica rose up from the cold water and took a face towel to wipe off the sleep. Her purple and pink hair hung to one side while the other side was shaved or cut short like a Marine. She yawned and walked out to her bedroom slash living area. She had a one-bedroom apartment with an open floor plan that had a breakfast nook beside her kitchen and adjacent living area. She had just broken up with her longtime boyfriend, if you can call 13 months a long time. He was a year behind her in school and while she had graduated last summer, he had just finished this spring. One day she came in and found a note that said, (Sorry but I am just not into this anymore, going to find myself) find himself, whatever that means, she thought with a bit of condensation! So, in her anime print pajamas and fuzzy slippers, she sat down to a breakfast fit for a 9-year-old. Toasted Pop Tarts and Oatmeal flavored with Honey, the breakfast of champions she thought. Not being into traditional television, she hit the remote and turned-on YouTube news. She began flipping through news feeds until she found one that she was interested in. As she ate her breakfast, she watched people in a faraway country doing what to her seemed exotic things. While she knew that working in a foreign place wasn't always what it was cracked up to be, the furthest she had ever been from her home in rural Virginia was to a summer camp in Colorado and college in New Jersey, not exactly a stellar life achievement. Still, she had reinvented herself when she arrived here five and a half years ago, yeah 5 and a half years. Three bad relationships with 3 losers and a list of nowhere jobs, she suddenly lost her apatite. She got up and walked to the kitchen. She put her bowl into the sink and ran water into it while mulling over the half-eaten Pop Tart in her mouth. Working her way to the bathroom again, she finished her food and peeled off her clothes. Stepping into the shower, she turned on the cold water. She let out a little yelp, but since her boyfriend had left, she was in a financial bind. Not only did he just up and run off, but he also cleaned out her petty cash that she kept in an online account. A thousand dollars doesn't seem like much to some people, but it was a hedge against homelessness. She didn't want to go down that road again, having to beg friends for a place to sleep, but now she was having to once again find ways to save money. So cold water it is baby, suck it up and make better life choices.

After an invigorating shower, Jessica pushed through her closet to find something that looked presentable for an interview. She was still looking for a job after college, she had a degree in Public Relations with a minor in languages. Her French was passable, but her Latin needed some work. She smirked as she was putting on her makeup, if only she could meet Caesar. Then her troubles would be over, with her skills in Latin, he would either hire her or have her beheaded. Then a shiver ran down her spine, put that out of your head. So on with getting made up and out the door with her laptop bag. She had 3 interviews this morning, she was hoping that someone was hiring. She was in a real rut and couldn't seem to get out of her revolving life cycle. After her third interview, she got the impression that she wasn't the most likely candidate. While she had computer skills, she wasn't up to par with some of the other people she saw and she felt like the interviewers didn't take to her style choices too much, though one of the interviewers had a bunch of tattoos, she felt like she was getting at best a Luke-warm reception. Much like the showers she was taking, bordering on ice cold. Not to be a downer, she brushed it off and went off to one of her part time jobs at a bookstore. There she dove into inventory and helping lost children, meaning college students find cliff's notes on courses they hadn't studied for. The afternoon passed pretty much uneventful, then it was time to go to her second job. Down the street just a block from the bookstore, she walked into a coffee shop and dawned her apron, she was now a Barista. 4 years of college, 60 thousand dollars for an education she thought would get her at least a reasonable job. Now she was stuck here in this rut, that thought again, stuck in a rut. She shook it off then the picture of her hometown came back into her head. Mom and dad calling saying come home baby, you can get a job down at the mill. I am sure they can find you something to do. The very image of sitting at a thread spindling machine for 12 hours, it shook her to her core. She saw the shriveled-up people with hollow looks in their eyes, half a cigarette hanging out of their mouths as they worked like drones at a laborious task day in and day out, and the smell of cotton seed oil, it was almost as bad as the idea of meeting Caesar. Awakened back to the real world at the sound of the Espresso machine she focused on her task at hand. The hours rolled by until it was 10 pm. She finished her cleanup and walked out into the cool night air. She looked around at the streets still filled with Sophomores and Juniors, some coming from part time jobs, others coming back from study groups. She missed being certain of her future, now in a rut, wait, there it that thought again. Stuck in a rut, how does that keep entering her mind. On her way back to her apartment, she let her mind wander. She looked at the stars and watched the cars go by. She looked in the windows and stopped in front of an appliance store. She saw a commercial, it showed people working in a place she didn't recognize. They were knee deep in water and were planting something. Then at the end it said the Peace Corp, the toughest job you will ever love. Like a brick thrown threw a plate glass window, she just stood and stared. Lost in the moment, she almost got hit by somebody delivering food on a bicycle. As suddenly as the brick hit, it passed. She made it back to her apartment and repeated her routine from the night before. Brush teeth, wash face, take off make up, put on PJ's and crawl into bed alone.

For the next two weeks, Jessica seemed to be on autopilot. She felt like she was living in a time loop. The only thing that felt different was the commercial that had hit her hard and now she couldn't stop thinking about it. She had not even bothered to apply for any more jobs. She had been to 50 interviews since she graduated but the job either only wanted a temporary employee or wasn't interested in her. So, this morning she did something she never had done, she called in sick. She didn't have to work at the coffee shop tonight, so she called out to the bookstore. It was the first time she had ever done it. She was terrified but her boss was understanding, not that she would be overly missed. People wanting to work in a bookstore in a college town are a dime a dozen. No, she had a plan today, she had researched this Peace Corps thing and she had made an appointment to meet with a recruiter. She had already sent the person her resume, she was both excited and terrified at the same time. She didn't know what to expect, she only knew that she was tired of living in the rut.

Jessica arrived at a nondescript building a couple of miles from the university campus and about half an hour from her apartment. She had taken the bus down to the location. When she arrived, she pressed the button on the intercom. A warm friendly voice came over the mic and asked can I help you. She told them who she was and that she had an appointment. A camera that she hadn't noticed overhead was looking at her. She felt kind of uneasy, but the voice told her to come in when the door buzzed. The door popped and she went in, in the lobby there sat a rather plump older woman. She asked if she was the representative, the woman told her no I'm the building receptionist. She asks who Jessica was here to see, Jessica told her a representative from the Peace Corps. She directed her to the elevator and told her to go to the 3^rd floor. Jessica thanked the unassuming woman and went to the elevator. Jessica felt kind of uneasy as the place seemed kind of antiseptic. The elevator door finally opened, and Jessica got in. She pressed the button for the 3^rd floor and the elevator began to move. When the elevator stopped, she stepped off into a hall with windows at each end to let in the natural light. There were office doors on both sides of the hall. She walked down to the one that was numbered 311 and had the Peace Corps plaque on the door. She opened it reluctantly and walked in. Once inside she saw a few chairs sitting in an open space and a counter with a man behind it. There were a few other people in the waiting area. She looked and tried not to stare but suddenly she felt more at ease. Of the other people in the room, one had purple hair and a nose ring. One was a guy with a close-cropped haircut and tattoos. The person sitting at the counter was dressed in work a day clothing you might find a construction worker wearing. Before she could speak, he said, are you Jessica. She smiled and said yes. He said great, just have a seat and someone will be with you in a bit. It didn't take long for someone to start calling people in. Jessica had butterflies in her stomach, but that passed quickly as one by one the people went back and came out. Some were smiling, some didn't have any expressions at all. While she was waiting, a few other people came in. Then she was finally called back, she was still a little jumpy until she entered the office. The person behind the desk couldn't be much older than her, she had Jessica take a seat. She began by going over her resume, she told her that they liked her education and experiences. They were especially glad that she had language skills other than English. She explained what it was that the Peace Corps was about and what they did. After about 10 minuets, Jessica began to ask questions. The woman doing the interview wanted to know why Jessica wanted to join and her response was simply, it is time to make a change. After the interview, the woman gave her a contact number if she had any questions and said they would be in touch soon.

Jessica left the building that day after the interview with a new sense of optimism. She wasn't sure if they would want her or not, but she felt better than she had in a long time. For the next few days, she woke up and didn't feel like she was in a rut. She felt positive about her whole situation, like she had taken her first step to climbing out of a hole. After 3 days, Jessica got a phone call, it was the interviewer from the Peace Corp. She asked her if she could come back in for a meeting. She scheduled it for the afternoon of the next day because it was a day, she didn't work at the coffee house. The next afternoon couldn't seem to arrive fast enough. Jessica arrived at the same building with the same butterflies but this time they were ones of anticipation. She didn't want to appear overly enthusiastic, but she felt hope in the pit of her stomach. When she got into the office, the woman that had interviewed her was there with an older man. He introduced himself as a volunteer coordinator. They went to a conference room and there he took the lead. He told Jessica that the organization was interested in offering her a position. He asked her if she understood the commitment that was going to be required. She understood that it was a minimum of two years with the ability to extend. After talking for nearly an hour, Jessica shook hands with the coordinator and the woman who had interviewed her. She was joining the Peace Corp. She couldn't believe it, they said that the full process would take about 30 days, that it was sort of like enlisting in the military except without the yelling. They told her some of the other people that she had seen when she came in for her interview would be going through the process with her. She really only caught half of it, she was elated to finally be moving forward. As she left the building, she felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted off of her shoulders. A brief thought came to her as she saw a worn place in the sidewalk, she just leaned over a little and with a gleeful voice she simply said goodbye rut.