The New World

CW: Themes of PTSD

Unease kept building inside of Logan as he advanced the stairs. Something didn’t feel right. The atmosphere shifted into silence as all his senses heightened. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he felt the danger come closer and closer. Years of being on the front lines taught Logan to trust his senses; and his friends. He took a quick look behind him to make sure everyone was there. He could tell they were feeling the same unease as him.

“Lieutenant Logan!” He heard his commanding officer call to him from up ahead. He cautiously put his foot on the platform and then took a slow step forward. Suddenly, a loud bang made him flinch, looking around for the threat. 

“Logan,” he heard Wilson whisper behind him. “It’s alright, just feedback from the mic. We’ll go together.” At this moment, Logan’s eyes came into focus and the deafening silence became a dying clap from the crowd in front of him. He reminded himself that he was not at war, but back home, his service complete. 

“Today, on this July 4th, we honor these veterans and their service,” the crowd began clapping again and Logan felt Wilson slightly push his elbow forward, nudging him to put one foot in front of another. When they were all stopped on the platform, Logan scanned the crowd to find the smile of his wife, and their son beside her. Breathing a sigh of relief, he was fully brought back to the present. His life. His home.

***

At the celebration later, Logan set up his BBQ on the front lawn. His wife, Megan, had organized a neighborhood party so, naturally, the whole county was invited. He was thankful for all the people who also brought food and set up their own barbeque’s. Logan couldn’t help but smile as he watched everyone. It was amazing to be around joy and laughter again. Everyone was a little older than he remembered, but still the same people. There were a few new faces, but they fit in well. 

He watched as Wilson walked up wearing an apron. Wilson was several years older and had served a lot longer, too. Somehow this old goat never lost his cool and never missed anything. If it wasn’t for him, Logan would’ve eventually lost his family. Coming home from war was not only physical, the mind had to come back, too. Logan did not know the extent of damage the war had done to his psyche until he had come home for good. Thankfully, Wilson was there to guide him through so that he could reintegrate back into civilian life. He owed Wilson his life in more ways than one. 

“Megan sent me over to offer a hand. Thought you might’ve forgotten your way around a barbeque.”

“Mmhmm, I know you’re here to avoid the crowd! Just don’t burn the burgers this time.”

“I make ONE mistake!”

“And you’ll never forget it either,” they chuckled together and then a comfortable silence fell between them as they cooked and served up plates.

During a lull of people, Wilson cautiously spoke, “You ok? That’s quite the moment you had back there.”

“Yah, I’m good.”

With a knowing look, Wilson backed off. Logan could feel the concern, but didn’t know what to say. Most of the time, he was alright, but sometimes the memories just took over and nothing felt normal. In those moments, everyone and everything was strange. Even his wife and child were strangers. Sometimes, he would wake up in the middle of the night, not knowing where he was, who he was, and who the person beside him was. That always left him feeling unnerved for days. It made him feel like he was betraying his family. 

The rest of the evening went well, filled with laughter, stories, and catching up with old friends. Thankfully, no burgers were burnt, either. 

“Dad!” Charlie came running up with a new friend in tow. “This is Hassan, my best friend I was telling you about!”

“Hi,” the boy said and then the two boys started kicking a soccer ball back and forth. Logan barely had a chance to speak in greeting when he heard Megan call out to him. She began introducing Hassan’s parents. First was the mother, Rania, who was wearing a light-colored hijab. Megan was just about to introduce the man when, suddenly, there came a loud shot from behind them! Jumping into action, Logan grabbed Megan and Charlie, pushing them inside the house and telling them to stay low.

***

Wilson watched with dismay as Logan rushed his family into the house at the first round of fireworks. He shook his head and remembered how hard it was for him to come home. He couldn’t find his way back to reality without doing something, so he kept himself busy with volunteering and working in his shop. Thankfully, he had good sounding boards when he needed to talk. And something to do when he needed to think. He turned to watch the fireworks, knowing there was nothing he could do for Logan. This time it was up to Megan. As the fireworks show played out, he happened to be in earshot of Hassan’s parents and overheard them talking.

Glancing over, he could see them close together, almost sheltering the boy between them.

“That was rude,” the man said under his breath.

“I think the fireworks shocked him.”

Scoffing, the man berated Logan, “What kind of man is afraid of fireworks?”

“Shht.” The woman hissed. “You scoff, Aman? This is the first year we’ve been able to actually watch them outside ourselves.” She gestured towards their son and continued, “Some memories are harder to erase than others, no matter the age. We know that all too well.”

Looking closer, Wilson saw that they were indeed sheltering their son. She had her hands resting over his ears in an attempt to deafen the sound. In response to her, Wilson watched as the man pulled out a cigarette and stepped away to light up. It seemed that there was more to these neighbors than what was on the surface.

***

“Logan,” Megan called as he locked the doors and went from window to window. “Logan! It’s just the fireworks!!

Full stop. “Fireworks?” As realization dawned, he let out a big sigh. “I’m sorry, Megs. This has been a rough day.”

Ushering Charlie back outside, Megan felt compassion, but was uncertain as to how to assure him. “It’s ok, Logan. But remember that no-one here is your enemy. You’re home. You’re safe. We’re safe.”

“You sure about that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell me about the new neighbors.”

A moment of silence as Megan realized what was going on; Logan didn’t trust them. She tried to formulate an answer. 

“They are from Afghanistan, but they are not your enemy,”

“Not all refugees are safe people, Megan.”

“You’re going to have to trust my judgment here, Logan! Their son has been a good friend to Charlie.” She followed him as they walked to another room, his agitation growing. “Rania makes the most amazing food and…” she stopped and put her hands on her hips, “Are you even listening to me?”

“And what about the father?”

“I don’t know much about him.”

“Exactly. They have a different culture, Megan! They think differently than us in every way. You probably haven’t even been allowed to speak to him, have you? They can’t be trusted, Megan!”

She sat down beside him and calmed her voice. “His name is Aman. I may not know much about Aman, but what I do know is that Charlie is the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time. And it’s because of Hassan.”

“So they’re using their boy to find a way into our home?”

“For what reason?! They‘re just trying to build a life here, Logan!”

They sat in silence, both stewing in their thoughts. Logan didn’t even know why he started this fight. At first, he didn’t have any misgivings about the boy. But when the dad walked up, something didn’t feel right. Then the fireworks happened…Megan is right, he had to let this go. But how? His feelings were so intense right now.

Sighing softly beside him, Megan spoke gently, “Hassan has given our son someone to play with at school, keeping him away from the bullying. That means the world to me, and it should to you, too.”

“Bullying? I didn’t know that Charlie was being bullied.”

“Well, you haven’t been here for us to talk about it.” Oops. She immediately saw the hurt in his eyes, but didn’t mean it as a low blow. Didn’t matter, though. As she watched him walk away, she wondered if she would ever get her amazing husband back from war. Before his tours, he was full of laughter and so attentive. Now he always seemed distant and unreadable.

***

The next day was brutal for them. Logan drowned himself in video games. Charlie wasn’t allowed to play with Hassan, even though it was a weekend. Megan tried her best to keep the peace among everyone, but it was hard. Especially since she didn’t agree with Logan’s decision to keep Charlie stuck in the house all day. Not knowing what else to do, Megan quietly invited Wilson over to dinner. She hoped that he would talk some sense into Logan.

Wilson decided to come over earlier and the two of them spent the day together playing video games. They even invited Charlie to play and that seemed to calm everything down. Megan was thankful because, after Wilson had left, the cloud seemed to have lifted off both Logan and Charlie. These moments of peace gave her hope that, one day, everything would be ok. 

***

Logan had decided that he would drop Charlie off at school from now on. He wanted to see who the bullies were and learn what skills he needed to teach his son. As soon as Charlie was out the door, he and Hassan ran off together. Rage toward Megan started to boil inside of him. Didn’t she know that he fought those people? Didn’t she know that they cared nothing for our way of life? Those people waged war for religion, and he was sent to war for politics. It was all so stupid. People killing people, and none of it for good reasons. Though he believed that, he still could not bring himself to accept Charlie playing with Hassan.

Wilson, that wise old ass, told him to leave all that behind, let go and come home; not just physically, but in his mind, too. But what Logan experienced there, what he saw, had to do….made that difficult. He struggled with justification. He struggled to understand its purpose, his purpose. While on tour, he poured his whole being into keeping his team alive, because that was the only thing that made it all make sense to him. Get them home safe, then they can keep their families safe.

***

It was Wednesday, and Logan again watched Hassan and Charlie play together both before and after school. Nothing bad happened. He did not see any evidence of bullying, and Charlie didn’t seem any different. What was Megs talking about? That beautiful wife of his sometimes seemed so clueless.

But then Friday arrived and, in the afternoon, a dreaded phone call came. Charlie had been in a fight. Megan was at work, so it was up to him to respond. He rushed to the school and, seeing the neighbor’s car, he immediately knew Hassan had done something. He stormed into the principal's office in a rage, and what he saw confirmed his suspicions.

There sat Charlie with a bloody nose and bruises forming on his face and arms. Hassan sat beside him, knuckles bare and bloody. Looking dejected, both boys were holding ice packs on various parts of their body.

“Mr. Reese! Thank you for coming! As you can see, your boy got into a little scrap.”

“Are you expelling that boy?” Logan pointed to Hassan

“No, that won’t be necessary.”

“Not necessary?” Logan raged, “My boy is bleeding, might have a broken nose and I can see cuts on Hassan’s knuckles!! What more evidence do you need??”

“Dad!”

“Charlie, be quiet.”

“Dad, it wasn’t him!”

“Mr. Reese, Hassan and Charlie were in this together.”

“I—what do you mean?”

At this point, Hassan’s parents walked into the room.

“Glad you’re here Mr. and Mrs. Faris! Please, everyone,” with a pointed look at Logan, “Have a seat."

Glaring at Aman, Logan snarled, “I’d rather stand.”

Rania chose to sit down, although Aman held eye contact with Logan, also refusing to sit. For a moment, they stared at each other, neither one wanting to relent to the other. The tension between them continued to build until the principal spoke:

“Suit yourself. Boys, would you care to explain what happened?”

“It was the Timber brothers!” Hassan spoke first. “Charlie and I were playing hide and seek and I couldn’t find Charlie anywhere.” Logan noticed that tears started rolling down Charlie’s face.

“I started to get scared because they’re always after him. This morning they threatened to kill him and it felt different.”

“What?!” Logan spoke, much more loudly than he intended.

“Charlie, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Let him finish, Mr. Reese. Then what happened, Hassan?”

“I looked in all the usual places when I heard some kids starting to yell at them to stop. When I ran up, Charlie was pushed to the ground and they were going to stomp on him. I rushed in and…”

Charlie looked up at his dad and spoke quietly, “He stopped them, dad. We both did.”

“Stopped them is an overstatement," said the principal, somewhat proudly. "Both of the brothers do actually have broken noses and have already been sent to emergency. As for these two, we will give a small suspension.”

“Completely unfair!” “Uncalled for!” Both Logan and Aman spoke over each other. 

Calming them with a gesture, the principal continued, “A small suspension to give them time to process, and for the school gossip to calm down. I daresay that the Timber brothers will be less inclined to bother Charlie, or Hassan, ever again, though.”

When they all stood up to leave, Logan walked over to Aman and shook his hand. “Seems I owe you an apology.” And to Hassan, “Thank you, young man.”

As they drove home together in silence, an understanding began to grow inside Logan. He went to war and fought for peace, he came home to a new world. He thought his war had come home with him, instead he was starting to see the peace he had fought for. The enemy was now his neighbor, the enemy was now his son's friend, the enemy was now his friend. Although shell-shocked and weary, Logan knew he had to let go of the old and embrace the new. His war had ended, his peace was right in front of him.