Close enough

Take a deep breath… you got this I spoke to myself silently. I could hear my heartbeat in my ear pumping away as my fears crept in. Your mother and father drove hours to get here for your special day you can’t disappoint them. Once again I am grasping to stay out of my head. It’s so crazy how I wanted a cigarette but didn’t smoke. The piano begin to play as my father grabbed my arm and begin to walk me down the aisle.

     3 Months before….

His lips were so soft was all I could think as my man place his lips against mine. Damn baby your lips is like kissing a chocolate covered strawberry soft and juicy" he said. Smiling at Kevin like a school girl crush I inhaled all of his cologne. If we don’t get out this bed we not gone make it work I said. Can I ask u a question Patrice? Yes I replied, would you love me through anything he asked? With all my heart I answered yes. That’s all I need to no he gently grabbed my arm in we both went to shower.

Damn Patrice we only got 3 months left until your wedding in your playing around. My best friend Amanda could be a prude sometimes but I loved her. She was also my maid of honor which was starting to be a torture. Girl!!! Sit back in enjoy that martini with your crazy ass I replied.

 Me Amanda and Kevin have all been friends since we meet in middle school. The 3 stooges is what they called us we were Inseparable. That is until me and Kevin started really seeing each other in the 10th grade. Something about the way he played with my hair that day had me seeing him differently. From there we new this thing called love recruited us that day.

3 Days before wedding **

I’m your only stripper u remember that while your out with James and Devin hoeish ass. Kevin was dying laughing, holding his stomach as if it was so funny. Only fueling my anger about his bachelor party tonight. Baby you no I would never look at another women. He kissed me and walked out the door…*****

The masquerade party was jumping!!me and my guys were looking good and smelling nice. My boys came through they no how I rock. We were having fun and getting twisted. Not being able to see the women made it better. No I definitely wasn’t checking for anyone I knew what I had at home. She slightly whisper in my ear let me buy you a drink. It was harmless so I agreed. Give me a second I told the woman with the black and gold sparkling mask. You can order me a gin and juice I said walking to the bathroom.

I sipped she sipped we laughed and than things went dark…… The night was a blur as I struggled to open my eyelids. Her feet were small and skinny, I looked up slowly preparing for the worst and my heart sunk in my chest not prepared for this. Amanda WHAT THE FUCK I YELLED!!!!! She turned to look back OH MY GOD..KEVIN….

My lungs were struggling to grasp any part of air it could. This can’t be I said as I dropped to my knees crying. No Amanda your dreaming I said trying to pinch my skin off. Its real a voice said aloud we have really fucked up. Kevin scrabbled across the floor in search of his vibrating phone. 12 missed calls 30 text messages. This wasn’t gone be good Patrice was sure ready to kick my ass. I listened to the messages from her and my boys asking were the fuck I was. What are we going to do Kevin, yelled “ Amanda she gone kill us. 

1 Day before wedding…

It woke me up drenched in soaking wet clothes. Dripping wet I made my way to the bathroom to get in the shower. This the second night I have had this dream that Kevin chasing me out the church with weeping eyes. I’m praying its just my nerves we were a day away from getting married in I didn’t need that type of stress. 

I turned off the shower and sat on the bed with the towel wrapped around my body. My phone started flashing letting me no I have a message. I looked at the clock that read 2:30 am. My baby so sweet he couldn’t sleep either I said to myself. Checking the message it was from a unknown number. That’s weird I clicked on the video. As tears fell from eyes I rewind it over and over. My husband and my best friend were having sex. The pain shot through me like a ton of bricks how could they do this to me. I quickly called my mother and my other friend Kate to tell them about what happened. The both told me that Kevin is a good man and whatever happened Amanda seduce him. I need to still marry him he’s a provider and that’s what I need.

Agreeing with them I hung up the phone in went to sleep

Day of wedding…  

There I was looking like a new modeled car. Smooth and shiny as ever. The diamonds hung off my ears, sparkling with the matching bracelet. My hair was in a Mohawk with sparking beads crossing through it. The dress was breath taking only I could pull off something so beautiful but fill like shit.

2 min away from wedding..

My father grabbed my arm and I inhaled as much air as I could. Here comes the bride echoed in my ear as I approached my soon to be husband. Please exchange rings the pastor said. I touched Amanda hand to get the ring in a chill came over me. Do you Patrice take Kevin to be your husband? I looked from him to Amanda and then out at the guest. My mother was crying and my friends were smiling I loved them but at that moment I need to go with my gut feeling. In that moment I chose me and told Kevin I never want to see him again…. Running down the hall and out the door I heard him call Patrice please lets talk about this.. I ran as fast as I could I never looked back…