Bullying from the Bitch

Are you there, God, it’s me, and no, I’m not Margarette. There are four major changes in life: “moving, breaking up or divorce, job change or loss, and loss of a loved one” and lucky me, I’m getting all four at once. So, the trite question everyone asks You/you, Why me? I didn’t do anything wrong. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this. It’s his fault (and Your fault). I don’t know where I’m going to live now. I might be homeless. I’ve called up homeless shelters and they’re all full. I’m on all the waiting lists but if I don’t find somewhere to sleep, I’ll be on the street. Bastard boyfriend and I’m not too happy with You either, not that You give a shit either. And why? What great thing did this son-of-a-bitch get? He got published. Big deal.

He lost all his emails, they took away his phone, he’s moving to Butt Fuck Egypt, they gave him a cheap flip phone where a b and c are on the number two, d e f are on three, etc. He lost his job, he’s losing his stuff since where he’s moving is half the size, I’m trying to give away or throw away what I own and for what? A small piece of shit book no one will ever care about and most of all, he’s losing me. I’ve cleaned for him, taken him out to eat, paid our cable bills, cooked for him, fucked him, did his laundry is these tiny washing machine and dryer, healed his emotionally sick dog, drove him everywhere he wanted to go and he does this; Bastard.

Going to have to move back home to my parents at age 55; that’s my age, not theirs. If I hadn’t had a shitty boss, none of this would’ve happened. I would have saved up in my Roth IRA, worked a few years and retired. God, why did you make that bitch my boss. Are You even there? Why did You allow my former boss to retire and replace her with that bitch? So, I’m not working and I’m sitting home recovering from the bullying of that bitch. Watching movies and no money’s coming in. There are days though when my arm shakes for fifteen minutes from nerves. I can’t see a shrink or a doctor because I lost my benes when I quit.

So, I was sitting there, in my apartment, watching movies and getting food in; things like burgers, fries, and a Coke. Showering sometimes, but with no plan. Draining my IRA. Getting over her bullying. Praying my significant other was still here to help me. He was a great man. He worked in construction. He was a good man. He was the one I should’ve married, not this bozo. I’m not married to him, his parents are his legal guardians so guess he’s married to them. But Bob always provided for me. Even when he barely had enough for him, he always made sure I was taken care of.

*

I was working at a gas station. Wait, let’s go back, but not sure where to start. My dad was in the armed forces. I got a degree as an accountant since it was practical and that’s what my parents wanted, but I graduated with A’s and a few B’s, got my CPA, but I worked the job and I hated it, so I quit, but I knew I had to make money to survive and I knew my parents would just bully me into going back into accounting and that’s not what I wanted, so I got a minimum wage job at a gas station. I smiled at the customers and since my dad was in the service, he taught me how to clean. A better description is he forced me to clean like Cinderella. Restock shelves, face the products, do accurate transactions, clean the coffee pots, make pastries, make coffee. Gotta make everything but no one’d make love to me. No Prince Charming here. That’s what I thought, but I went to church, went to confession, did my rosaries, did everything.

Then, Bob came. He was just filling up his car and came in for some cigarettes and beer and he asked me why the hell someone as beautiful as me and as smart as me was working at this dump. So, I told him what happened, but we exchanged phone numbers and I talked to him and I started feeling better about myself.

*

So, I started dating someone but it wasn’t Bob, I should’ve seen Bob was interested in me. Earth to me, right? So, I dated Andy. Andy, the idiot. Andy and I met at a bar. Went there to forget about the hell I was working and my debt. Think about it: board and rent aren’t cheap. And he moved in with me. Andy. I’m paying the rent and Andy’s going to pay me back once he gets a decent job.

He stayed, but Andy leeched. I’m working and had to get another job to support Andy. Then, since he were living together, Andy thought we should get married and I said yes. I was such a moron and I asked Bob for advice about what to do when Andy got drunk and angry and Bob gave me advice. Why would he give me good advice if Bob wanted me? Who knows? But I asked him for an engagement ring and he said since I’m working I should buy it myself, so I broke off the engagement since he was an asshole. Not just an asshole but a leech.

Then, Bob helped me by taking me out to eat. He listened to me and we started dating and things went well. Bob paid for me to go back to college for something I wanted, library science, and I graduated, but Jack got a terminal illness, so didn’t marry me. He died in my arms but left me money in his will and everything went well, until the bully bitch came and I quit since I couldn’t take the bullying. Then, a former moron contacted me and I moved in with him, which was great … until …