The Monster

This is my worst nightmare. The thought flashed through her head, leaving a ragged trail of torn nerves behind it, and making her hands twitch and fidget. She would fail in her mission, and it would catch her, swallow her up so quickly that she would not even have time to scream. The thump, thump, thump of her heartbeat dulled all other sounds around her until there was nothing else but the beating and the roaring of the blood in ears.

A hand to her head, she took a deep shaky breath and tried to organize her thoughts. Her mission, she could not falter now, she could not fail, she could not watch her dream transform into this nightmare. As she raised her head, she opened her eyes warily, shifting her gaze from side to side in the blackness around her. She knew it was there. The monster.

She had been running for a long time, throwing herself forward, pushing to stay ahead of the beast. It was always chasing, always right on her heals, patient and relentless.

The girl squared her shoulders, drawing herself up to her full height and lifting her chin. She must continue, her task was not complete. But it never was. A new mission always replaced the completed one so quickly that it might as well have been one long chain of tasks. A chain that tugged and tightened around her feet, her legs, threatening to hold her in place. To let the monster catch her.

The click ticking of the beast reverberated around her, through her, and she bared her teeth at the darkness. She willed herself onward, drawing deep from her core for strength and urging her feet on with panic, because she would not be caught like this, it would not have her!

But she was so tired, she had rested for such precious few moments and her legs were unsteady. She felt her feet might falter at any moment, and the smallest misstep would leave her vulnerable, the beast was always just behind. Oily fear coated her skin and squeezed at her chest. Still, she ran on, flinging herself over obstacles in her path, skidding around tight corners and dodging unexpected objects. Her breath tore in and out of her lungs like sandpaper.

She practically fell into a crouch after yet another corner, and she curled herself into the shadows. For just a moment.

Thump thump thump.

Click click tick tick, the darkness answered. Tears welled in the girl’s eyes.

Gasping for air, she wiped furiously at her face. It was cruel, this monster, so constant in its pursuit, endlessly stalking. Fear and anger warred throughout her, making her skin burn and cold chills skitter down her spine as each fought to gain the upper hand.

Click click tick tick tick.

It was hopeless, she could not win this race, not in the end. She would certainly falter and fall, and her pursuer would not, ever steady in its pace. The despair she felt gave her anger an edge in its battle for dominance and she found herself desperate to fight the monster, to attack, to lash out with everything she had and beat the creature back.

Chest still heaving and face flushed with adrenaline, she rose and turned to stare behind her. She screamed at the beast, she charged forward and struck out with her fists and feet. And met nothing but air.

Tick click tick click.

The girl gritted her teeth and whirled. And here was the worst of it: how do you fight back a monster you cannot see? How can you fight an attacker when there is no form, no substance, to the creature to defeat?

Tick click tick tick.

The sound, it was going to drive her mad. It was everywhere and nowhere. Perhaps she was not even hearing it at all. But she felt it, and in it the dark-kissed talons of the creature wrapped around her throat, and she could not breath, she could not escape, and the world was dark, dark, dark...

With a violent jerk, the girl shot bolt upright in her bed, breathing hard, sweat dripping off the end of her nose and running down her back. Throwing back the blankest, she bolted. It had felt so real, she could still feel the sensation of being hunted. Still half in her nightmare, she ran through the house and exploded through the front door and out into the night. Gasping and still in a panic, she flung herself into the midst of the downpour that fell from the night sky in elegant sheets. Skidding to a stop, she ripped the thing from her wrist and hurled it to the ground and crushed it with her heal.

Thick droplets dripped down her face to mix with the tears, her clothes slowly growing a shade darker as the rain drenched every trembling part of her. It ran off of her in small rivulets, cool and comforting, as if it were trying to wash away the panic and the nightmare.

With a deep breath, the girl removed her foot and looked down at her ruined little watch, the face a spiderweb of cracks and the little arms immobile. Her monster.

Closing her eyes, she turned her face up towards the sky and the clouds and let the rain wash all of it away, relishing the smell and feel and sound. It was peaceful, the rain. Somewhere a brave owl hooted softly, and a determined cricket chirped once, twice. The girl took a deep breath, and another. She felt the night air relax the tension in her muscles and the adrenaline of the dream began to fade. Slowly, she felt herself become grounded in reality again. She took another deep breath.

The girl could not fight time, and the deadlines to meet were still there, still haunting her calendar, but she could take this moment. Tomorrow, she would do her best to race ahead of her monster again, to make everything that needed to get done fit into the short, short day. Tonight, she could steal these seconds to forget about all of that.

So it rained, and the girl smiled into the storm.