Flip

Sensitive content: References to mental health issues, suicide, and murder are briefly mentioned.

April 1, 2024

Dear Brian,

I am relieved that you’re not thinking about killing yourself anymore. Does this mean your outlook is improving?

And please stop thanking me; I was happy to send the money. After all, you paid for my lunch the whole first semester of freshman year. You might have forgotten about that, but I never did. That was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me—still is, actually.

Maybe the reason we became such fast friends long ago is that we understood what it was like to be the only child. People think only children are always spoiled and self-centered. Maybe that’s true, but it’s also true that we know loneliness more than everyone else. We understand better than anyone the disappointment of abandenment.

I dropped in on your mom, like I promised I would. She warmed up to me, once I was able to remind her of who I was. I made sure she was well-stocked on groceries, and that her bills are being paid. We even sat together and watched a little T.V.—repeats of The Golden Girls. Funnier than I expected. Still, maybe next time we can watch something a little less…80s.

I’ve been thinking about your case. I think you should give Jean Henderson a call; she’s one of the best at what she does.

Your Long-Lost Pal,

Flip

April 8, 2024

Dear Flip,

Thanks for your concern. I can’t say I’ve shaken the fantasy of killing myself altogether—my life was hell before I got here, so imagine it now—but I’m managing. I have been prescribed fluoxetine, which is like the poor man’s Prozac. So I’m learning how the “other half” lives, ha ha. I’d describe my current mental state as less about “improving” my outlook and more about “accepting” it.

To be honest, I hadn’t given the fact that I treated you to some lunches while we were in high school much thought, then or now. I always had extra cash on me, so I guess it just seemed like the cool thing to do. I’m glad it made a difference for you.

Yes, when we first met, we did hang out a lot together. Maybe you’re right and it was because we were both “the only child.” Or maybe it was something else. Who knows? I didn’t have any other friends like you, you know. Maybe I chose to hang out with you because we were different. Because you never had money and weren’t pressured by all the same social expectations, it was just easier to talk to you.

You really visited my mom? Well, that’s nice; thanks, but you didn’t need to. My mom’s condition is advancing, so it must have been torture to be around her. And you plan on visiting her again? I hate for you to take on that burden. Besides, the executor of my father’s estate is responsible for making sure her basic needs are being met.

She always loved The Golden Girls. Not for me. Generation gap, I suppose. Good luck trying to get her to watch something outside of her routine.

I looked up Jean Henderson. You’re right; her reputation as an appellate lawyer is fairly impressive, for the money. I’m grateful, Flip, for your willingness to pay her retainer fee; it’s unexpected and appreciated. I called and left a message, and now I’m waiting with bated breath to hear back from her. Or you, for that matter. It’s not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon.

Your Lunch Patron,

Brian

P.S. “abandonment” is spelled with an “o”

April 19, 2024

Dear Brian,

I spoke with Jean on Tuesday. She thinks you have an excellent chance at being granted an appeal. Thank you for trusting me enough to let me speak with her and to be kept in the loop, at least as far as basic details of your case go.

She shared with me that the bases of your appeal will include the following:

• Insufficient evidence, due to the murder weapon not being recovered,
• Ineffective counsel, due to your public defender’s failure to interview any exculpatory witnesses,
• Newly discovered evidence, now that you have a witness willing to testify that they believe they saw the murderer, who did not fit your description.

So much of your trouble stems from the fact that you got stuck with that public defender. It’s a shame your dad cut you off. Not to speak ill of the dead, but he should have had more compassion for you as you struggled through your addiction. And now, for it to come to this: you being falsely accused of his murder and not having access to the resources to defend yourself? It’s like a cosmic joke.

Of course, I can relate, because, as you know, we never had money when I was growing up. If not for my old man having a job at your dad’s factory, we would have been homeless. Sooner, I mean.

It’s really no burden to check on your mom. I never really had a mom of my own, and yours was always so nice to me. Last Thursday we had dinner together. I know she enjoyed fancier meals with you and your dad, but I remember, when we were kids, we ate T.V. dinners whenever I spent the night, and they weren’t half bad. So, I looked for my old favorite: Swanson Salisbury Steak with mashed potatoes, corn, and a brownie. Did you know they got rid of the brownie? They replaced it with an apple-cranberry “dessert”—blasphemy! But hey, your mom seemed to like it. So I gave her mine, too.

We enjoyed them in front of the T.V. while we watched a murder mystery together. It was a nice night.

Your Mother’s Murder Mystery Mate,

Flip

April 30, 2024

Dear Flip,

Thanks for recommending Jean Henderson; she gives me hope. I enjoyed meeting with her and have a good feeling about the case she’s building for my appeal. I don’t mind you two talking about basic details of my case; it might prove useful, in fact.

Yes, I agree that it was unfair and unjust to be saddled with that public-school, underachieving defense lawyer. That “representation” was criminal, and I imagine I would have been better off defending myself.

Also, please don’t mention my father to me again. Speaking about him is agonizing for me. I know I haven’t been perfect—I am self-aware—but he was my father, and good fathers are there for their kids, no matter what. Mine just wrote me off.

I could shout from the rooftops, every day, that I didn’t murder him—but should anyone blame me if I did? That public defender could have mentioned how my father mistreated me, how he mistreated everyone. Maybe the jury wouldn’t have cared about his death so much if they knew how little he cared about the lives of everyone else.

Flip, you might relate to the lack of resources, but I hardly think you relate to being treated like a pariah by people whom you thought you could trust. I have put my trust in so many people, only to feel betrayed. You find out who your true friends are when you go through something like this. But you’re really coming through for me. I feel like I can trust you.

Oh my, what a memory to recall! Us eating those cheap T.V. dinners when you spent the night. And, yes, they were half bad. She used to say it would be “fun” for us to eat them; I just thought they were lame. Frankly, I’m surprised to learn that my mom seemed to like one. Hilarious that you pawned off your “blasphemous” dessert on her.

The two of you watched a murder mystery together? That seems a bit unusual for her, and it’s not like it’s going to reverse her condition or anything, but I suppose it’s good to learn that she is broadening her horizons, so to speak.

Your T.V. Dinner Friend,

Brian

July 13, 2024

Dear Brian,

Maybe Jean has already contacted you, but just in case, I wanted to share a bit of news about your appeal—Jean is having trouble finding your eyewitness. It seems crazy, but apparently they haven’t been home or to work for three days now. James, Jean’s private investigator, is on it, though, so stay hopeful. I’m sure they’ll turn up.

Also, I am really sorry, but your mom fell and bruised her hip, and I’m afraid it’s my fault. But first—she’s okay. Please don’t worry. Here’s what happened:

We were talking last week about the picture quality on her set, and I was telling her about the new OLED screens, how much more vivid the quality is, like Bea Arthur would practically be standing in her living room. She didn’t believe me, and we had a laugh over it, but I thought I’d really surprise her by ordering one for her. The thing is, it was delivered earlier than expected, and she hurt herself dragging it inside. Thank God I’ve been coming over for dinner nightly now, or it would have been days before I arrived to help her.

Anyway, again, I’m so sorry she got hurt, Brian. I’ll make sure to keep doing daily check-ins. I’m happy to do this for her. I know how much my dad appreciated it when I helped him after his accident, and she is like the mom I never had.

It was hard to get Dad the care he needed, especially since his Worker’s Comp claim was denied. I remember feeling guilty that I, even for a moment, resented having to quit school to take care of Dad. After all, he never complained. He was loyal to your father to the end.

I learned a lot from that, Brian.

Loyalty.

-Flip

July 21, 2024

Flip, Phil,

What do you mean Jean’s “having trouble finding my eyewitness?” I thought her P.I. was keeping an eye on them at all times. Have you called the police? Not having been home or shown up to work for three days means they’re now officially missing. This CANNOT be happening to me. You know what this means, don’t you? GAH!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I’m back. I stepped away for a minute to cool off (by which I mean I stood up from my chair and walked the whole two steps to my bunk, then screamed into my pillow for thirty seconds). I’ve decided I’m not going to think about my case for the rest of the day.

Phil, your attention to my mom is a little much. You were already seeing her once a week; you didn’t need to increase your visits to her. What does she even get out of that, anyway? She’s basically just a freakin’ vegetable. Besides, you said yourself she was okay—it was just a bruise. As a matter of fact, my dad’s executor should just hire a live-in nurse.

I’m not sure why you dredged up stuff about your dad, or what it has to do with my situation, but you seem hung up on it. Here’s what I know:

My father told me your dad got hurt trying to help a coworker who had gotten crushed under some equipment or something. Apparently, the guy wasn’t paying attention. Your dad rushed in there and tried to be a hero and managed to get himself hurt, too.

Your dad’s claim was denied because he was there after hours, unauthorized, shooting the breeze with some guys who were still on shift. He shouldn’t have even been there. In fact, I once overheard my father telling someone that, for all he knew, your dad caused the accident by distracting the other guy. I’m not saying that I think that; I’m just relaying what I overheard. And I know I’m the most unlikely person to defend my father’s position—but I do understand that business is business. You see that, too, right? I get it, though; that really sucked, how you and your dad lost your home. I feel a little bad about that.

You know, I’ve had a lot of time to consider some things, things I regret. I realize now I’ve been calling you “Flip” this whole time. It never even occurred to me; it’s just how I remembered you. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for calling you that. I was a kid, though, when it started, and kids can be stupid and mean. I’ve grown up a lot since then.

But why are you calling yourself that? I think you should have some self-respect and put that part of your life behind you, Phil.

Your Self-Esteem Guru,

Brian

August 20, 2024

Dear Brian,

Bad news first: I just saw in the morning news that Patty Saunders’s body was found earlier today in a field a few blocks from her work. She had been shot twice in the head from close range. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but the bullets used to kill Patty are the same caliber as the ones recovered from your dad’s body. Without Patty’s eyewitness testimony, will your appeal fall apart?

You still have a couple of weeks before the filing deadline for your appeal expires. I’m sure Jean can find…something. So, try to stay positive.

Now for the good news. Your mom is improving. She is starting to get around on her own. The last time I visited, she even helped set up the T.V. trays. We watched The Talented Mr. Ripley together. She said she thought Tom was an interesting and complex character. I am pleased that I successfully improved her viewing repertoire (did I spell that right?). You can thank me later.

I want to thank you for your apology. It is true that everyone started treating me differently after that day in the cafeteria. It was hard going from being Phillip to being called “Flip.” I admit that it hurt when other kids made fun of me (“Flip a switch!” “Flip your lid!”)—I already felt so terrible about how badly I hurt Ron Jennings (he never fully recovered, you know). I was pretty messed up.

Still, it hurt so much more when you joined in. I felt like a cast-out, like a pariah.

So, thanks for saying sorry, now.

And maybe you’re right. Let me try “Phil” back on and see how it fits.

Your Self-Respecting Disciple,

Phil

P.S. Yes. Maybe it does still fit, after all this time. Thanks, buddy.

September 4, 2024

Phil,

How did you know that Patty Saunders was my eyewitness? Only Jean, her P.I., and I were supposed to know the eyewitness’s name.

And how did you know the caliber of the bullets used to kill Patty were the same as the ones used to kill my dad? You wrote that letter to me the day she was found, but the ballistics test didn’t come back until well after that.

I’m starting to feel uneasy about our relationship, Flip. And I think you should stay the hell away from my mom.

-B

March 12, 2025

Dear Brian,

I’m sorry your appeal didn’t work out. I’m even sorrier that I can’t make it to your execution next Wednesday. I sure hope you get this letter before then.

It was my pleasure to keep your commissary account well-funded, so that your last days could be as comfortable as possible. And be sure to make that last meal count! Might I recommend Swanson’s Salisbury Steak?

You asked a couple of interesting questions in your last letter. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to answer.

How did I know the caliber of the bullets used in Patty’s murder, before the police released the information? Hm. Would you believe it was a lucky guess?

And how did I know who your eyewitness was when Jean assured you that she kept Patty’s name a secret? To be honest, I shouldn’t say. Maybe I broke in and bugged Jean’s office. Maybe Jean thought I was trustworthy and decided to just share that information. Or maybe I flirted with and wooed it out of her secretary. If any of these were the case, then that might mean somebody broke their commitment to you. Some people do that, Brian. Your dad did it to mine. You did it to me.

Or here’s a crazy idea: maybe you were right. Maybe Jean, James, and you were the only ones who knew about Patty Saunders.

You know, Brian, you never asked me what it is I do for a living. You never really asked me any questions at all. Until now.

Totally unrelated, but did you know private investigators have the best cheap gadgets? It’s amazing what a $15 voice modulator can accomplish; for example, if someone wanted their boss to think they were someone else—someone like, oh, say, Flip, Brian’s concerned best friend—it would be child’s play. Almost criminal.

But a guy would have to be a real psychopath to do a thing like that, right?

Before I sign off, I wanted to let you know that I’m taking Mom on a trip with me. To see the world. Maybe we’ll start with Italy.

-Phillip James Simon

On second thought, I think I prefer “Flip,” after all.