The Reflection in the Closet

All I remember of the mirror was my reflection reaching out and choking me in Mickey and Rosalind’s antiques store before I woke up in the hospital. I closed my eyes and thought back to what happened. I saw Rosalind scrubbing the window, suds running down their leg. Some homophobes had vandalized the store again. I helped them finish cleaning, and Mickey came out, thanked me, and asked if I wanted to look inside. I accepted and soon found something that interested me. It was a Victorian mirror, its frame like black whisps of smoke curling out of old factory chimneys. I had decided to buy it because I needed an extra mirror for my room in my apartment, and Rosalind offered me a discount. 

I was out of the hospital after a few hours. The doctors said the episode was due to a combination of anxiety and low blood sugar, and I agreed. I didn’t want them to think I was a lunatic. No one else had seen anything out of the ordinary. Rosalind and Mickey simply said I collapsed. Although, they only turned around and saw me afterward. I was content with pretending it hadn’t happened until I received a call from my friend, Josh. 

“Hey, what happened between you and Stefan?” he asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“He said something happened, but he won’t elaborate.”

“When?”

“Last weekend.”

“At my house? Stefan wasn’t there. It was me, you, and Rudy.”

“Maybe you got too drunk, dude. We and Stefan were the only people there. Listen, just talk to him. He seemed freaked out.”

My hands shook so violently that I had to try a few times to hang up. I sat behind the wheel, unable to catch up with my breaths. I was sure we hadn’t hung out with Stefan. Yet, Josh’s insistent tone compelled me to believe him. Maybe I did get too drunk. If so, what did I say?

I pictured Stefan’s touseled hazel hair and sparkling brown sugar eyes. His jawline could slice a rock in half. I bet he’d look sexy eating one, too, with his defined cheekbones. No. I felt guilty thinking about him like that. I could see my desire descending into view like a leaf onto a puddle, softly so as not to disturb the surface, yet there nonetheless. Had I trampled through the water and ruined it all with my big mouth?

I decided to drive back to Mickey and Rosalind’s to see the mirror. They stopped me at the door, worried I’d pass out again, but I insisted I wouldn’t. However, they took the mirror out, and I nearly did. My reflection was missing. Instead, there was a blank, opaque piece of glass where I should have been. I ran out of the store, panicking, and jumped in my car. Frantically, I called Stefan. I needed to know what was going on. The call went straight to voicemail. 

Returning inside, I slapped cash on the counter to pay for the mirror and put it in my trunk. My next destination was Stefan’s house. I arrived to see cars parked up the driveway and around the place. A girl I hadn’t seen before answered the door. She was gorgeous like Stefan but sculpted more delicately, with soft, full rose lips, almond skin, and emerald irises. 

“Hey, Anthony,” she said.

“Hey, do I know you?”

“Don’t act like that, Ant,” she scoffed.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?”

“Screw you!”

“I’m serious. I’m in a hurry. Who are you?”

“Sophia! Why are you acting like you don’t know me?”

“What is going on at this house?”

“Wyatt’s birthday party! I thought Stefan invited you.”

I sighed frustratingly. “Who the hell is Wyatt?”

Sophia looked at me, concerned. “Are you on drugs? Wyatt—Stefan’s only brother!”

“No! Stefan only has a sister! Her name is Samantha!”

“What’s going on with you, Anthony?”

“Look,” I said despairingly, pulling out my phone, “Here, is this Stefan?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s him. Listen, maybe talk to him when he gets here. I have to go.”

“What? He’s not here? Where is he?”

“He had volleyball practice. He should be here soon.”

“But Stefan doesn’t play volleyball. He’s on the tennis team! What is going on?”

“I don’t know,” Sophia said slowly, her eyebrows knitted together. “How about you just wait here?”

“Listen, I don’t know who you are, but I’m not crazy!” 

I stomped back to my car and opened the trunk. The mirror was gone. I dropped to my knees and looked around, gasping for air. Sophia appeared ready to call the police. She took out her phone but stopped when a car pulled up. Stefan stepped out, and I ran up to him.

“Stefan,” I said, “I need to speak to you right now!”

Stefan’s eyes widened with alarm as he put his hand up to stop me, looking back at Sophia, who took her phone away from her ear.

“Uh,” he stuttered, “I can’t talk right now.”

Stefan rushed inside, and Sophia eyed me worryingly, shutting the front door. I heard the lock click. 

“Shit!” I said, punching my thigh.

I took a deep breath and explored the house’s perimeter, ensuring I wasn’t in any of the windows’ view. A white picket fence surrounded Stefan’s backyard. I could hear music, and peeking between the cracks, I saw a few kids chasing each other with NERF guns, weaving between the small crowd on the back porch. I waited for them to leave and tried vaulting over the fence, hidden behind the corner. However, I heard Stefan’s dog, Lucky’s shrill bark, and fell in a panic. I bolted back to my car but nearly ran straight into Sophia. 

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked. “What is wrong with you?”

“I need to get in there and talk to Stefan. I’m sorry, it’s a very long story, but—”

“You just came in!”

I froze. “What are you talking about?”

“You came to the door holding whatever mirror you were looking for.”

“And you just let me walk by? Why didn’t you let me in earlier?”

“Stefan let you in, didn’t he? What are you doing over here?”

“Where is Stefan?” I demanded.

“In his room,  think. I don’t know! What are you going to do?”

My heart thumped in my chest as I walked down the hall to Stefan’s room. If it pounded any harder, it’d grow wings and fly away. I trembled in my sweat-soaked shirt as I struggled to raise my arm and knock on his door. It felt like I had cinder blocks hanging from it.

The door creaked open. Inside was Stefan, fresh out of the shower, a towel around his waist, standing by his bed. Beads of water clung to his toned chest and broad shoulders as he turned to face me. His charming grin immediately disarmed me.

“Sorry,” Stefan said, “forgot to shut the door, I guess.”

 “No,” I said, “I’m sorry. I was just looking for something.”

“Want some help?”

“Thank you, but I don’t know if you could help.”

“Damn. Why’s that?”

“Well,” I began.

Suddenly, I desired to walk across the room and kiss Stefan. The feeling overwhelmed me. I was terrified. I couldn’t open my mouth. I didn’t even want to look at him, but I wanted to feel his body under my touch. If I could, he’d be the only person to understand me. I was a foreigner surrounded by unfamiliar heads and bodies. Everyone else thought they knew who I was, what I wanted, and what I liked, but that wasn’t me. That person did not exist. I wanted to live inside Stefan, safe and free of judgment. Only he could know my secret. I just had to tell him. 

“Hey,” Stefan said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“What?”

“I’m going to change. Give me a sec.”

Stefan shut the bathroom door behind him, and I tried to collect myself. What could I say to him? I was so busy devising a plan that I didn’t hear the door opening behind me. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It pulled me back, pinning me to the ground by my neck.

When I opened my eyes, I couldn’t move. I was sitting in Stefan’s closet, staring out from behind the frame of the Victorian mirror. I saw myself standing at the other end of the room, speaking to Stefan by the door.

“I’m sorry for troubling you,” he said to Stefan. “I haven’t been myself lately. I never meant to send mixed signals.”

“No, it’s okay,” Stefan said. Disappointment read clearly on his face.

My reflection turned to me and smiled. I was the boy trapped in the mirror now. Stefan met my gaze. I cried out to him, but it was in vain. He couldn’t hear me through the glass.