Enna flipped the pages of the newest C.H.I.C.K.E.N (Courageous High-flying Chickens Kill Evil Necromancers) magazine, marveling at the heroic chickens with her scaly claws. C.H.I.C.K.E.N had published another story featuring her favorite undefeatable duo; Albert and Amelia Egghart. They had an amazing repertoire and superpowers! Albert had incredible strength and could lift up to 100 pounds, while Amelia was a light speedy chicken who could fly!
“Hey Enna, would you like some of these worms? They were just delivered by Instachicken today.” Felicity said through a mouthful of worms.
“Um, no thanks.” Enna was terrified of the wiggly creatures, even though she knew that they couldn’t harm her.
“Do we have any bills?”
“Let me see.”
Enna leafed through their mail, sifting through usual advertisements, “DO YOU WANT TO EAT AT MCCHICKENS??? A NEW GEL FOR FULL FEATHERS!!! WAL-CHICKEN HAS GREAT NEW DEALS!!!” and found a letter addressed to Miss Feather and Miss Curry from C.H.I.C.K.E.N headquarters.
“Felicity, they replied!”
“Oh, it’s probably a rejection.” Felicity clucked downheartedly.
“No harm in seeing what they have to say.” On a whim Enna and Felicity had applied to C.H.I.C.K.E.N headquarters, wondering if they were heroic enough to join. Heart beating, Enna opened the letter. This is what it said:
Dear Miss Feather and Miss Curry,
We have accepted your request to join the C.H.I.C.K.E.N society. Please report to your commander, Captain North of the north unit to receive your assignment(s).
Glad to have you in our elite society.
“Felicity! They’ve accepted us! This is so bad. We are too chicken to do this.” Enna groaned.
“That’s great-what?! You are right. I guess we should go to Captain North to tell him we aren’t the brave sort of chicken they expected…”
They hopped on the nearest bus and headed to C.H.I.C.K.E.N headquarters. When they got off, they ogled in amazement. They were individual nesting boxes for each C.H.I.C.K.E.N member, high arched windows, and a giant buffet in the adjoining dining coop that made Felicity and Enna's beaks water. “Just think, Enna. If we weren’t so chicken all of this would be for us as well as those famous chickens.” said a depressed Felicity.
Following the very helpful, very clear signs in big letters, they made their way to the North Unit and found chaos. Chickens flapping everywhere, and a flustered Captain trying to install order. “Oh, Hello. You must be Miss Curry and Miss Feather. You will be a team for your first assignment. Read the instructions carefully," Said Captain North, handing them a packet before he scurried off, his medals jingling, before they could explain the real reason they came.
When they opened the packet, they found matching ivory ribbons, detailed instructions on how to slay Evanora the feared Necromancer and her zombie minions (destroy her puppet, it controls Evanora instead of Evanora controlling the puppet, and once Evonora is dead, she and her zombies will dissolve into ash), ziplock bags for gathering the dust, and wax paper for wrapping Evanora's magical comb. They also discovered that this was supposed to be the heroic Albert and Amelia Egghart’s assignment.
“I have a crazy idea, Felicity. What if we actually do this? Can we prove to the society that we are braver than brave? That we belong? Shall we go on this absurd quest?”
“What about the part about killing Evanora?’
“Good point. That’s the only way to succeed.”
“Well, I’m um, absolutely sure we will figure it out when we get there!” Enna said with false confidence.
“Alright, but please notice that if we fail we will be shamed and can never come to the society again. Ever. Let us venture forward.”
So they tied the ivory ribbons around their necks and flew to Evonora’s graveyard.
And chickened out.
“Bad, bad idea.” Chattered Felicity in the artificial snow. The sky was robin’s egg blue, but all sky above the graveyard was murky. Evanora had succeeded at making the creepiest atmosphere Enna and Felicity could think of. Artfully arranged cracking gravestones, poison ivy visibly creeping as if it wanted to devour the chickens, pterodactyl sized zombie hawks looming; bright yellow eyes glinting, and a constant downpour of freezing slush.
“Agreed. I’m so going to have nightmares about this. Oh no! There’s Evanora!”
Coils of black feathers whipped ‘round Evanora's gaunt face as she cruelly cackled at the small terrified chickens sent the slay her. “Ha, ha, ha! I shall have BBQ chicken and chicken fingers for supper tonight! With a side of giblets!” She shrieked with an evil glint in her eye. “Minions! Bring to me these feeble birds!”
Terrified Enna and Felicity flapped around bumping into each other. Heart beating, Enna tried to focus on her breathing. Breath in, breath out. The smell was putrid. But when the zombie-hawks came with worms oozing out of their rotting flesh, all thoughts focusing on breathing flew out of Enna’s head.
Desperately, Enna and Felicity tried to fly, but they ended up riding the zombie-hawks, scattering drops of violet blood on the snow. (Enna thought that was the worst part, all the crawling, creeping worms.) Once they had finally got off, the zombie-hawks tried to catch them, spreading feathers everywhere.
When they finally were just running all over the place trying to avoid the zombie-hawks, Enna saw Evonora’s puppet. For a minute time seemed to slow and Enna knew what to do. With a powerful whack of her wing, she shattered the puppet for it was freezing and the puppet had become stiff and frail. It wasn't a good idea to maintain an artificial snowstorm to add to a scary atmosphere. “Nooooo!” howled Evanora, “I shall get my revenge!” as she and her zombies flew into a looming tower of black smoke that settled down into smokey gray ash.
“Right.” Felicity clucked. “I’m not sure how she will ‘get her revenge’ on us if she is ash.”
Enna nervously laughed and they both set to the task of sweeping all the ash into the provided ziplock bags. When they were cleaning, Enna found Evanora's magical comb it was silver and very ordinate. “Felicity, I found the comb. I think we are done now.” Enna gratefully clucked.
Back at the C.H.I.C.K.E.N headquarters, they recounted their story to Captain North, who now seemed to have all the time in the world.
“We should now tell you our original purpose. We are scaredy- chickens. We are not fit to be heroes.”
“Yes, I see. Miss Feather, Miss Curry, I have the honor of telling you that you are exactly the kind of chicken we need here. Honest when telling your story. You see, even our finest heroes afraid, yet most pretend they aren’t afraid when after all, they are chickens just like you and I. My dears, you are far braver, for you admitted you were scared.” Captain North said as he presented Evanora's magical comb to them (as a trinket, and also we need to figure out what it does), and a $100 gift card to Papa Chicken’s pizza (You must be hungry after your adventure!). Enna and Felicity were honored, celebrated and their story was published in the C.H.I.C.K.E.N magazine, which was the greatest pleasure and honor they could ever ask for.