My Brother's Wedding

The walls were that formal, clean gray-white color like all churches have, a spread-out kitchen with dipping sinks and stained counters. There was a closet with a thin drape that blew a little every time you walked by and could easily get caught in for a few laughable seconds. It was raining outside, springing mud in the dense woods. I remember seeing Alex smiling like she’d never smiled before. Usually, she smiles one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen, flashing her teeth like a model, but just for a moment; this one was more subtle, like it wasn’t going away, and I thought it was even prettier. My brother was in his tux, nervous, glancing around like he was unsure if this was the right place.

Alex was in these big, pink jumper pajamas as she ran in with Luke in her hands, and everyone swarmed around her. I fell back. I figured she wouldn’t want so much attention and even more to deal with on the big day. I thought about if it was my wedding, I’d already be nervous without people bombarding me with questions. She had all her makeup done already. I still had to put mine on. I had forgotten my eyeliner, so I asked Melissa if I could use hers, and she said sure. I waited for my sister’s friends to change behind the curtain, then I walked in. I think it used to be a sick room, because it had a bed with those sheet linens that go up at the corners at the doctors while you wait, along with a mirror and a small desk.

For some reason, the zipper on my waist had caught. I had gotten the dress fitted once already. I didn’t want anyone with me while I was changing. My heart jumped as I heard footsteps down the hall.

It was Melissa, and she was asking if I was almost ready. I told her I needed help with my dress, and she fixed it, without looking twice. I felt really stupid for worrying over it so much, and my eyes were getting hot with tears.

“Thanks,” I said, readjusting the ends and pushing my hair to one side. I started lining under my eyes with black eyeliner and sparkling silver eyeshadow on the lids.

“Yeah, of course,” she gave me a confused, genuine look. “I’ll always be here to help you with anything, you know.”

“I know, haha, love you for that,” I grinned to lighten the mood, and she hugged me over my arms, leading me out. I don’t think she knew how much I’d remember that.

“Okay, well, come on, now. I don’t want us to waste time, and Alex still needs to change,” she said, in that long, exasperated voice she has, and walked ahead of me out back into the widening of the kitchen.

The air smelled tired in here. I wondered who else had their wedding here. I was so happy for my brother and hoped everything would work out.

Alex had a tiara holding up her blonde hair in a bun, and her dazzling blue eyes shone framed in thick, curled lashes. Her eyes were sparkling like her makeup and her dress. Her dress was almost white in the pictures, but it was tinted pink; just like her cheeks were, blushing an iridescent, sugary, rose. The dress was strapless, had encrusted stones on it, and it was long; it went past her three-inch pink high heels, plastered in rhinestones. I held up her dress, and Kylee helped me. Kylee wore a laced white flower dress, and her huge, green eyes kept glancing around wildly, her light blonde hair in a bun. I stepped into the back of the church. We had decorated the aisle exactly how Alex wanted it; except we couldn’t get anything to hang flowers with. There were logs and flowers set up, because that’s how Alex’s grandma’s wedding was done. I hoped Alex liked it. I knew I would want my wedding to be perfect.

All the other bridesmaids were paired up and began walking down the aisle. I was walking with Katie. I fell side by side with the flower girls, Kylee and Alex’s little sister, Jamie. I stood by Melissa, and held the children’s hands so they didn’t run around the church. Luke kept wandering around, trying to grasp the balloons. I couldn’t get him to keep still, but it didn’t distract too much from their beautiful vows. After they got married and kissed, I ran over, and we took pictures that I still hold onto.

People said I looked beautiful. It wasn’t like how people usually say it. It's like they searched through me, my body and eyes, before they tested out the words in a sort of quiet way, a way like they meant it; perhaps a bit surprised at how my eyes lit up when the sadness was forgotten, and that I could be beautiful.

And I did, I felt beautiful, for the first time in a long time.

Even though my hair wasn’t straightened anymore, it was sticking to my forehead in sweaty clumps, and my face was bright red, I was beautiful because I was so happy.

It’s like everyone’s emotions radiated around the flashing dance floor; tangible, as if even the air had a certain feeling about it. As if that night was contagious. I could feel the heat from all the people-all the people that were my family. I couldn’t stop smiling, doubling over laughing with Alex as she grabbed my wrist hard to lead me onto the dance floor to mess around. I danced with everyone. Everyone spun me in their arms, and my brother’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. I was so happy I got to spend that night with all of them, and so happy that I forgot about the bar nearby.

It just felt like magic for a night. I’ve found that feeling lasts sometimes just seconds in those kinds of moments. But it's these beautiful, small moments that are infinite.

Their wedding was amazing and I hope they are so, so happy together. They deserve it. I love them very much.