The Road Less Traveled

As I am driving in my purple Chevolette Corvette down Interstate 80, I am dreading the nearly three-hour drive to my family’s country home on the outskirts of Rockford, Illinois for the holidays. Thoughts of turning around and going to back home to Iowa City crosses my mind but hearing my mother’s voice saying ‘at this time next year, you may regret not seeing your grandpa if anything ever happens to him’ crosses my mind. Every year, she has managed to feed not just mine, but my brothers’ minds with that speech that it might as well be written in stone.

Everything my mother says may just as well be recorded and stuck on repeat for the rest of my life. I cannot walk into my grandpa’s home without her being stuck to my heals constantly having to tell me the same thing that she has already told me the last time I visited and the time I visited before that. I do not even see her that much since I am very busy with my photography career, but yet she still manages to make everything about her. It is mostly derogatory and sad, but yet I am still longing to hear her ask about how I am doing at least once. Being happy for me and seeing my life is going great seems to be too much to ask. However, I still hold my head high and go about my visit with my family the best that I can.

I love my mother, don’t get me wrong. She is just a typical helicopter type of mother with her mind stuck in the clouds about how this world is coming to an end that both me and my brothers dread dealing with every once in a while. I never say anything, but my brothers do with the constant carrying on with the latest news on TV or what she has read online that she tends to do that bores them to no end. Me, however, just sits back and listens, agree to disagree, and I might occasionally throw in a comment basically telling her to get real or lighten up.

I pull into the right lane getting off the interstate to take the longer route to my hometown, and the ringing of my phone magnetized to the magnet on the dash startles me. Seeing that it is my mother, I hesitantly answer it.

“Hi, mama,” I greet her nicely.

“Nora, I was just thinking about you,” my mother says, her voice a little shaky. “I was hoping that you would be coming home for the holidays. I would love to see you, and Jason and Josh are going to be here.”

‘Great! Just what I need……. a visit with Jason who does nothing but talk about himself and his problems.’ I think to myself sarcastically. “Sounds good. I can’t wait to see everyone. I have some great news to tell all of you.” A loud shriek suddenly comes from the receiver.

“Reagan!” I hear my mother yell into the phone at my four-year-old niece. “I will see you when you get here, Nora, I have some things I want to talk with you about before everyone gets here. How close are you?”

“I just got off the interstate, mom,” I answer her, then bite my lower lip dreading to tell her that I am making a quick stop at the McDaniel Auto Repair in Rockford. “I will be there as soon as I can. Everything okay?”

“Yes, dear,” she answers. “I just want to talk to you about a few things. Nothing is wrong.”

As I hang up the phone with my mom, I am curious to know what she is wanting to talk to me about. However, I know better because it usually has something to do with something she has a strong feeling about, which is nothing really. Just typical day to day life in the eyes of Shellie Bryant (a.k.a. my mother). So, what is it now? My brothers who are like night and day and can’t get along? My eighty-five-year-old stubborn grandfather that she lives with and can’t stand his ways? My aunt Jane who lives right down the road and is never there to help her except bring a dish or two and leave. Who knows…… it just seems to be the story of my life to be unloaded on the one of very few times I come home.

The last hour to Rockford has gone by so fast, and I am debating on whether to stop by the auto shop to visit an old friend. Without hesitation, I pull into the parking lot and place the car into a spot. Wade McDaniel greets me by looking over my car along with a whistle coming out of his mouth.

“Wow, Nora,” Wade says, shaking his head in disbelief that I could afford a car like this. “You sure got yourself a nice ride there, and you look amazing. Definitely not a country girl, are you?”

“Is Nick here?” I ask, ignoring Wade’s question and flirtatious gesture.

“I should have known that you would be asking for him,” Wade says and waves his hand towards the garage. “He’s in the garage. If he doesn’t ask you out, you come find me.”

“Nick is my friend, Wade, nothing more,” I quickly respond, then walk towards the garage.

I have known Nick Davis my whole life, he was one of the few of my closest friends that I could ever trust. We have dated a little on and off over the years, but really never got comfortable enough to be exclusive. So, it was easy to revert back and forth from being friends to dating when it just didn’t feel right. We always had a connection though, and even when years have passed without talking and seeing each other, we’ve still managed to find ourselves together again.

I walk into the garage looking for Nick, and he is nowhere to be found. I am starting to believe that I have missed him. My heart drops thinking that he may not be working for McDaniel’s anymore and that he is gone for good like he had said he wanted to be over the years. ‘He actually did it.’ I think to myself. Just as I turn around and reach towards the door, a voice comes over the loudspeaker.

“Nora James,” that voice says, sounding very familiar. “Please report upstairs to the office please.” Returning to my stride across the garage, I hang my head in complete embarrassment and suddenly remember whose voice that is. It is the sound of a man who has been lovestruck for years waiting for the woman of his dreams to return home. Just as I get up the stairs, I am greeted at the door by Nick. He looks a little scruffier than I remember, but that didn’t matter to me. He always was an amazing friend.

“I am sorry, I look terrible,” Nick says, realizing that he just came up from underneath a car he was previously working on. “But you look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I answer, still hanging my head.

“What’s wrong?” Nick asks, concerned.

“Nothing really,” I answer with a quick response. “I am actually on my way to spend time with my family for the holidays, and I really do not want to be there. I came here because I am kind of stalling.”

“Ah, I see,” Nick says, realizing that I am being bluntly honest. He’s always like that about me, at least he has told me that. “I was hoping that you would at least tell me you were coming to see me, but that is never on the tip of your tongue, is it?”

“Nick,” I begin to say until he interrupts me.

“Nora, what is it going to take for me to prove how much I really want to be with you?” Nick asks sternly. “Is it too much to ask of you to stay here, with me? What is so important back there in the big city? Your life is here, not there.”

“Look, I am sorry that I left,” I begin to say, knowing what I had done to hurt Nick was wrong. “I was going to ask you to come with me to my family’s home, but it seems to me that I am going to have to go alone according to my mother.”

“Why is that?” Nick asks.

“She called me while I was on the road,” I begin to tell him. “Something is wrong, and I don’t want you to see what I have to go through.” Nick pulls me close to him and hugs me tightly.

“I understand,” Nick says softly. “I am sorry. It just hurts me already that you are not going to be here too much longer. If you can before you go back to the city, I would love to see you again.” Tears flood my face and I pull away.

“I am sorry too,” I respond back. “And I will try to come see you before I go.”

For years, I have always felt completely heartless leaving Nick alone with his thoughts and a broken heart. Somehow, everything in my life seems to manage to lurk its way through to for me to face and struggle. So, I moved on. I did not want to be with anyone, nor did I want anyone telling me what I should and should not do. I felt like I was better off by myself doing what is right for me and better my situation instead of living with my overbearing mother and senile grandfather.

Thinking about that just overwhelms my emotions and weighs heavily on my heart. I have been through one emotional roller coaster ride after another, and going back home to see my family brings those emotions back. Now it makes me realize if I even should go back home to see my family or if home is really where I am right now, in the arms of someone who truly loves me. Or did I make a mistake coming back? I just can’t think about it right now, but what I do know is that I need to get going.

“I am sorry, Nick,” I begin to say. “I’ve got to get going. My mom is waiting for me.”

“Think about what I said, please.” Nick says, practically pleading. He knows that as soon as I walk out the door, he may not see me again.

“I will, I promise.” I tell him, then I give him one last hug before I turn around to leave.

Driving down the road a few more miles seem to be taking a bit longer than usual, and I do not recall a few houses and buildings in the area that I feel like I am going in the wrong direction. I notice that I did not place my phone on the magnet on the dash, so I reach over across the right side of the passenger seat to grab my phone. Within the two seconds I took to not look at the road, a loud truck drove passed me and honked very loudly that it had startled me. It wasn’t long that I realized where I was and recognized my family’s home.

As I pull into the driveway, I recognize the truck that had passed me and that the driver getting out of the truck is my little brother, Josh. I place the car in park in front of my grandfather’s barn. Josh meets me in front of the garage while his girlfriend, Lana, rushes inside the house.

“Nora!” Josh says excited to see me. “Aren’t you a site for sore eyes. How are you doing?”

“It is great to see you too,” I tell him just as excited to see him. “I am doing some pretty amazing things actually, you’d be proud.”

“I am already proud of you, sis,” Josh says, “Let’s get in the house, it’s pretty cold out here.”

Josh opens the door for me and leads me into the house. My grandfather is sitting at the kitchen table as he pretty much always is unless he is kicking back in the recliner watching TV. Boisterous laughter from my youngest niece comes from the back of the house, and I am already led to it after I greet my grandfather. It doesn’t take long until I am met by Reagan midway in the hallway.

“Aunt Nora!” Reagan excitedly greets me. “Will you play with me? I got some new toys.”

“I will play after I talk to grandma,” I tell her. “Where is she?” Reagan grabs my hand and leads me to what she calls ‘her room’. My mother babysits her on a day-to-day basis when Josh and Lana are working.

“What took you so long?” My mother greets me in a whisper.

“Mom, please,” I plead, “I could have stayed home, but you begged me to come. What was so important that you had to talk to me about?”

“It is really not important,” She begins to say. I roll my eyes while I am taking off my coat without her noticing. “But I want you to know that we need each other now more than anything.”

“Is something wrong, mom?” I ask, concerned. “You are not making any sense.”

My mother has never made any sense at all ever since I moved out. I often feel like this is her way of asking for me to come home, but it is not working for me. At least not this time. A loud crash suddenly interrupts our conversation, and my mom and I rush to the kitchen to check on my grandfather. It is apparent that he is okay since he is asleep at the kitchen table, but the noise came from the living room when I see my other brother, Jason, fumbling to get on to his feet at the front door. Josh appears out of nowhere at his side to help him up. It’s pretty obvious that Jason is drunk when he doesn’t get his words out correctly.

In an instant, I knew exactly how my time with my family is going to go, so my instincts told me to go back home. Trying to get my family together to tell them about my big news on a job I got in California as a modeling photographer was the least of my worries, I just knew that I need to get out of that house and fast.

“I can’t do this,” I say calmly to my mother who is standing next to me. “Coming home was a mistake, and I can’t stand here and watch such disrespect.”

“What are you talking about?” My mother says, confused.

“Everything is too chaotic here, mom,” I tell her, “Josh practically ran me off the road before I even got here. Jason is drunk and who knows what he is up to next.” Reagan abruptly interrupts and starts pulling at her grandmother. “And Reagan? Come on, mom. This is too much for you and you won’t say anything to make it stop.”

“This is why I need you to stay home,” Her mother says, practically in tears. “I need your help.”

“No, mom,” I say to her rationally. “You need to stand your ground and recognize your limits. Josh needs to put Reagan in daycare, and Jason needs an AA meeting.” I walk off and leave her to think for a minute as I grab my coat in the bedroom. As I reach for my keys in my pocket, my mother appears at the bedroom door startling me.

“You’re not leaving, Nora.” She says, sternly.

“Yes, I am, you can’t stop me. I have a life of my own, you won’t let me live it. You never have.” I say to her in a monotonous tone. She turns quiet and moves slightly to the right so I can get through.

“Fine, then,” She says quietly, “Go. Go live your life in the city where you don’t belong. Don’t forget where you come from though, but I am not going to stop you this time. I hope you are proud of yourself.”

Something told me that last comment was very sarcastic, but I did not hesitate to walk out the door. As I get in the car and begin my journey home to Iowa City, I begin to think of my life there. I am happy where I live, but at the same time I am not. I am actually very lonely. Tears begin to flood down my face, so I decide to pull over into driveway of one of the houses I did not recognize earlier. As it is growing darker, a black F-250 truck pulls up behind me. I hang my head when the man with a black coat with the hood over his head gets out of the running truck and appears at my window.

“Nora?” The man pulls his hood down, and I recognize that it is Nick. ‘Great! The last thing I want is to have him see me crying.’ I think to myself. I push the button to lower the window, but instead, I get out of the car. “Are you okay?” I pull him towards me, and sob into his chest as he holds me close to him. “I thought I would never see you again.”

“No,” I say to him realizing that my throat is raspy. I clear my throat and look into his eyes. “I am staying.” He looks at her in confusion wondering if she is coming back to stay with her family. “I want to be with you.” He smiles at me in pure happiness and kisses my forehead as lean up against him.