NOTHING IS EVER WASTED IN CHINA

15^th August 1945

America

To: Christopher Cheshire,

Oxford, England

Dear Chris,

I’m glad you got back from Germany in reasonable shape. It must have been Hell to be a POW. And I know what Hell is like – I’ve seen it. First the war with Germany, then the war with Japan after their attack on Pearl Harbour. Five years of destruction, killing and wasted lives. Finally, last week, Nagasaki. And now it’s all over, at long last. ‘Anti-Hero Hito’ has just announced that Japan has surrendered. 

It seems the Japanese leaders knew last year that they were losing the war, but decided to fight on. Their final solution – if that is what you can call it – was to let Japan’s one hundred million people sacrifice their lives by charging the enemy. Kamikazes would have attacked the US troop-carriers as they carried out their final invasions.  According to one estimate, the combined casualties of both sides could have been as high as fourteen million. 

The Americans were looking for a quick end to the war, and they wanted to push the Japs into surrendering. And it seems to have worked. So now, millions of lives have been saved. I know I ought to be thankful, but I’m not. As my brother, you’re the only person I could say this to, and I know you’ll keep it under your hat.  

Since I’ve been stationed over here, I’ve been involved with a new type of bomb. They are calling it the Atomic Bomb. It has a power that nobody has ever heard of before. First, they dropped one on a city called Hiroshima. Then they decided to drop another. The original target was Kokura, but they changed it to Nagasaki at the last minute. I was one of the aircrew. After what happened at Hiroshima, we thought that the Japanese might surrender, and our mission would be cancelled. Do you know, we were actually terrified at the thought? We had become so inured to war, and all the devastation and slaughter, we were even joking about it. We had agreed that, should this “dire misfortune” of a premature end to hostilities befall us, we would take off without permission and drop the bomb against orders! And I can assure you, we weren’t talking totally in jest.

We were young men, excited beyond measure at the power we knew we had to destroy anything in our path. We saw ourselves as having the ability to rid the world of evil, and the Japanese were the last evil now that Adolf Hitler had gone to whatever hellish torment was awaiting him. It was like some drug had taken us over. 

Well, I can tell you, that excitement lasted only until the moment our bomb exploded. Nothing could ever be the same for any of us after seeing that ball of fire and the vast, luminous cloud, evilly alive, living and feeding on the death that lay below. 

An area of over three square miles was instantly and completely destroyed. Imagine Central London, flattened to the ground, and all the people living and working in it dead or dying. There were homes, factories, schools and hospitals. Thousands of people died immediately. We will probably never know exactly how many; estimates range from 30,000 up to 60,000, and they are still counting. Together with those who died at Hiroshima, in three days well over 100,000 people had just been obliterated from the face of the Earth in the blink of an eye. They weren’t evil. They weren’t enemies. They were human beings, fathers, mothers, grandparents, children. I will never get that image out of my mind. 

In that monstrous ten-millionth of a second, my mind revolted against everything that this cloud implied, and I made a vow with myself. Before the war, I was just out to enjoy myself. You know. You were there! All those unsuspecting girls, who probably suspected a great deal, but never let on! All that booze. Everybody was a bit crazy. Then the war came, and it was as if the entire world went mad. For five years, I killed and maimed other people. I destroyed their property. Now, I had seen the nearest thing to Hell that anybody could ever possibly imagine. There had to be better things to do with my life. There had to be some power higher in the universe than that of nuclear physics. There had to be something that I personally could do. If it was possible for any good to come out of this evil thing that Mankind had created, I intended to make it my personal mission to try to bring it about.  

Could good ever come out of such events? Well, maybe. Do you know, over 50% of British bomber crews in World War II never came back from their missions? 55,000 men.  So many of our friends with their lives just blotted out. You and I were lucky, for which I can only thank God (yes, I have started to believe in Him, even after all I have seen of the horrific behavior of His creation). Despite all the missions I flew, I was spared. I’m sure there must be some purpose behind that. And it’s changed me. 

Can you remember that talk we had at school about China? It seems like it was eons ago. It was from a former pupil. He had visited China, and was full of admiration for the achievements of that backward society. He was praising the work ethic of the labourers in the fields, and their ability to make use of every possible square inch of soil and every morsel of food. He used one particular phrase time after time. He kept on saying “Nothing is ever wasted in China.” After the first few times, there was some derisive laughter, but that only served to plant the words more firmly in my mind. That phrase became imbued for me with a special meaning. It conveyed the thought that no experience of life is worthless, however appalling it may seem at the time, but is something that can build the future in a life-affirming way.

I could never go back to how I was before. I see now that I had to go through all those experiences to become a different person. I hope it has made me wiser, more sympathetic, more determined to help other people, and certainly with a different and more fruitful outlook on my role in life. I don’t know what to do yet, but I know I will find something I can believe in. I also know that I have decided, having witnessed such utter devastation, that it is imperative to do something to see that it should never happen again. 

Just a word about the A-bomb itself. Given that war itself is evil, did that justify the use of evil means to combat it? I’m sorry, but I can’t decide. Spare a thought for Harry Truman. He will take to his grave the awesome responsibility of trying to bring an end to the war by killing thousands of innocent people at Hiroshima and Nagasaki in this horrific way. God save me from such a responsibility! 

Did you know that in 1928 the major countries of the world got together and signed the Pact of Paris, which outlawed war altogether? There were 31 signatories, and both Germany and Japan were among them. Unbelievable, I know, after all that has happened since then. Is it ever going to be possible for the peoples of the Earth to live in peace? Well, perhaps I am foolish, but I will never cease seeing good in every man if only it can be brought out, to replace the violence, hate and misery, and I will support any attempt to stop war in its tracks.  But I have to ask: when will the killing ever stop?

Love to all,

Leonard