The Burnt Toast Theory

Hey! You rang yesterday. I'm sorry I couldn't answer the phone but I can talk now, is everything okay? No? What's wrong? Did it not go well?

Oh. You didn't get the job? Well, how do you know? Because you were late to the job interview. Oh, I'm so sorry, Jen.

No, please don't apologize for crying. I completely understand why you're upset. It's a shitty feeling, I know. But please don't be mean to yourself like that. It's a common mistake to sleep through your alarm. Everyone does it at least once a month. I know I do it tons of times! I was late to work just the other day because I couldn't get myself out of bed!

I - no, I know. It feels very embarrassing when something like that happens. But I promise you, you are not, and will not, be the only person alive to miss a job interview because you accidentally slept in.

I- Can I tell you a story? Have I ever told you that story about the time I didn't go to California because Belle got insanely sick? No?

It happened about six years ago, now. I was supposed to move to a little town in California called Paradise in Butte County because I got a scholarship from a university near there for my undergrad. I had everything planned out. I would be earning a degree in psychology, I was going to be living on campus, and everything. But a few days before my flight, Belle - do you remember her? She was my childhood dog, - she got insanely sick. Like she wouldn't eat, wouldn't go on walks, and she would just sleep all day. My parents and I took her to an emergency vet, but after so many tests, they still couldn't figure out what was wrong with her -and I know she was getting up there age-wise, but I thought she had at least a couple more years left in her.

And so, mainly out of fear that she would pass when I was gone, I decided to stay home. I didn't move to Paradise. I didn't have an exact plan at the time, but I knew that there were a few universities nearby that I could just go to while living at home. And so I missed my flight, withdrew my enrolment and residence application, and applied for a program at a uni nearby.

About, like, maybe two weeks later, I turn on the news and see the entire town was burned down by a fire, which killed 85 people and destroyed over 11,000 homes. And -I kid you not, Jen - not even 48 hours later, Belle passed away in her sleep.

Scary, right? I was absolutely terrified! When that happened to me, I began to believe in this whole 'the universe has a plan for you' shit because Belle was in perfectly good health up until I was about to move to Paradise. And then she passed less than 48 hours after that fire destroyed the town? There's no way that was a coincidence.

I was absolutely devastated when Belle passed. As anyone would, when their childhood pet leaves them, but....I don't know. Weirdly, I think her holding on right until I found out about the fire destroying the town I was supposed to move to, was her last gift to me before she left. 

Yeah, thank you for saying that. I appreciate your condolences. You don't have to apologize! It's not your fault-yeah I know though, it's sad. I did have everything planned out, and I spent thousands of dollars in preparation for the move, because I paid for the first couple months of residence and all, which was annoying but I figured something else out. I'm so grateful for Belle though, because that could have been me dying in that fire if it wasn't for her!

My point being: even though stuff doesn't work out the way you want it to, there's always going to be a reason why. The universe gave you all of those red lights to make you late for that interview, which caused you that job rejection for a reason. I'm not exactly sure what that reason may be, but it's probably for a damn important one.

This story wasn't supposed to make you sad! It was supposed to make you feel better! It was supposed to give you perspective! Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll give you a warning or something the next time I tell you a sad story. I thought you knew about Belle! My bad, I guess I never told you.

And look, I know it's a pain when you're running late for something important, like a job interview. And it feels like the whole world is practically against you when you miss your bus because you accidentally spilled coffee on the counter and you had to clean it up or something like that. Whatever the case may be, that's typically the universe keeping you from an unwanted situation. It's a sign to slow down. Or, in my case, save your life.

And I-yeah I know, you don't believe in that kind of stuff. But isn't there a small part of you that believes in the slightest possibility of it now after I told you what happened with Belle?

I've seen some people call it the 'burnt toast theory' online, but I don't know. You can call it whatever you want. But anyway, I'm sorry you didn't get that job. A better opportunity will come around for you. You'll find something better. I have complete trust in you and your capabilities.

But-no. No, I don't believe everything happens for a reason. It's different, but similar at the same time. I can see why you think I think that way, but I don't. It's hard to explain. Believing everything happens for a reason implies, to a certain degree, that individuals are helpless in what happens to them, when it's the complete opposite. I-It's not the experience that teaches you lessons and helps you grow, it's what you decide to do with that new information that helps you grow. Does that make sense? I'm not sure it did.

Let's meet for coffee soon, yeah? I miss you and want to know what else you've been up to. I feel like we haven't seen each other in a while. I have so much to tell you about the new book club that I joined and this new guy that I've been seeing lately.

Talk soon? Love ya.