Someday You'll Learn

This story you will never believe because I didn’t believe it for about, oh, 5 years and when I found out it killed me. 

I had been with my now ex-husband since I was a Junior in high school. He was already graduated and was my best friend's brother. I fell head over heels for him because he had the long dark hair and muscles at the time. He was real nice looking. All that was kind of wrong with him was he liked to drink, but being a young girl, I could try alcoholic drinks before anyone else.  

 Once my schooling was done, I got to hang out with him more and we ended up moving in together once my parents realized we were going to date whether they liked him or not. We got a small apartment together and I got a job as a nurse assistant with my friend I got to know that lived across from him in another town. Things were pretty good until the attitudinal drinking started and I couldn’t take it and moved back with my parents, they liked it and done the “I told you so” and off I went back to him.  

I stayed with him and his grandma for a little bit while I had a job as a nurse assistant at a different place, but boy she found out I quit and didn’t like that. She didn’t know why though and told him that I’m not going to stay there and just live there for free he needed to get me out of there now! Needless to say, I was pregnant with my first child and they made me move a hefty patient by myself which you’re supposed to have two people and I’m not blaming them, but I ended up having a miscarriage. I was not happy at the job for making me do that so I quit and I guess somehow his grandma found out and she just went off on us. 

While I was trying what to do about being pregnant and where to live because my parents had a saying of you made the bed now lay in it so I ended up staying with my ex-sister-in-law. That was not the greatest at all because I ended having, and this is no lie, my miscarriage in the total dark with no electric. I was trying to clean up with just a flashlight glaring because my wonderful ex sister-in- law left me in the house with no warning the electric wasn’t paid and would be going out at any time. That was a total disaster, but the good news was I called my parents and explained what was going on and they let me stay until I could get back on my feet. They weren’t too happy I was still with the same guy, but I was in safety. 

After all this that has happened, I was applying for social security disability because my body was messed up from all the work I had done throughout the years. I have done everything from detasseling corn, dietary aide, certified nurse aide, factory work, customer service assistant, waitress, and cashier. My body has been through the ringer. I would still love to work, I’ve tried, but it just isn’t the same. I look at now hiring signs and get so aggravated!! While fighting for the disability I stayed with my boyfriend and his family promising to give back once I win the case. 

I finally won the case a couple years later. I was so happy when that check came. I could get us a place away from everyone. We could get up and not have everyone walking around asking what we're doing or where were going. It would be wonderful. We could finally have a life!! 

When I went to cash my check, everyone had to, of course, follow along. We went to the bank and everyone anticipated how much they would get. I handed his mom what I owed her and told her we had some things to do, but first we had to go look at a place we might be buying. I don’t know who was more excited her or me? 

When we got to the trailer I was going to buy. I knew I was going to buy it, I just had that feeling like this was going to be my new home, you know. We went inside, looked around, and outside. This place was beautiful. I loved it! I talked it over with my boyfriend, counted my money out to the old owners, signed the papers, and it was ours. A couple days later we had our own place! 

My boyfriend, Tom and I was living the life. We had our own place. I was buying things for us; we had always wanted. I got us an xbox 360 with games to play. We stayed up all through the night playing a racing game because it was so fun.  

Things started to become dull just living the life, but we still had fun here and there and then we started talking about extending our family. This one and that one was having a baby let’s try again. I was a little worried, but we tried and it happened.  

Our baby boy wanted to enter the world early giving me many problems. I had to go to another state because he wanted to come a couple months early being born 3lbs. 8ozs. God held on to him and made him a strong boy today. I love him with all my heart!  

Slowly Tom, started to change he got him a welding job and that didn’t last long. Then he got a nice paying job and he would come home all hyped up instead of tired and I didn’t understand it. This job was a 12 hour shift why wouldn’t he be tired. He would want to take me out which is nice, but dude go take a shower and get some rest you know. Oh, then he had a job two hours away. Another nice paying job. This place had a gym, theatre, baseball field with their own team within the company, showers, and etc. He would still after driving back still be all hyper ready to go. I would ask him if he’s okay and he would say he just needed to calm down from being at work which I understood because I used to be like that, but halfway through the day and still all hyped up no nap? 

We got to thinking that we wanted to raise our boy right and his mommy and daddy have the same name so we got married on Toms’ grandma’s marriage day which, of all days, was Valentine’s Day. We got married at the local fountain that wasn’t luckily running on this cold day. My parents amazingly showed up and his mom came and we were married.  

Well, then he went to crazy one day while I’m trying to rock my son to sleep and Tom opens the window curtain next to me with a baseball bat saying that someone was out there trying to get him. This guy was going crazy he had a sword, my Louisville slugger baseball bat, a hammer, screwdriver, knives, and who knows what else saying I needed to get down to his mom's house, which at the time was luckily a couple trailers down from us, because he was going after the people that was outside coming in after him. What I forgot to tell you was he was on medicine for seeing and hearing things, but sometimes refuses to take the stuff. Well, he also said that those people out there I put out there to kill him for his life insurance policy to get me some money. He doesn’t have a life insurance policy. I had to end up calling the cops on my husband. It took eight cops to hold this six-foot 300 lb. guy down. It was scary to see, I didn’t know what was going on. They said his blood pressure was so high. They said I needed to fill out a police report on my own husband, can you believe that? They also asked me if I had somewhere to stay that he doesn’t know about, well he doesn’t know where my parents live that I know of so I went there, but I was still in love after all that. He was still my husband even though he was in jail. You would think I would be done with this guy with all the trouble he has put me through because I’ve only named half of it, but no I kept going and this was our first-year anniversary seeing him in the court room instead of going somewhere together. Our second year was behind the glass to talk to one another. Isn’t this a beautiful marriage? The whole time though he is wanting me to take his money and bail him out and I’m like sure and where are you supposed to go? He asked if I still had our van and I told him I did so he said we could take it and go back to his mom’s until we get our own place again. 

I ended up bailing him out and he came with us. I was so nervous I didn’t know what to do because my son really didn’t know his dad at all. Tom was paranoid of everything. He stayed up all night and after my parents left to where they had to go, we ended up going to his moms. I called my mom and let her know what was going on and told her I would keep in touch.  

While Tom was in jail I had signed up for housing for my son and I in a section 8 housing district that I could afford since I couldn’t do anything else. Well, he had gotten drunk one night at his moms and she couldn’t stand it any longer and while my son and I stayed in the back room she got him taken away. In the time he was in jail I got the call from the housing place and my son and I got moved over to the housing area. We had it made; just him and I. 

Well, my parents place ended up getting flooded and they ended up across the area of the housing project area from me so now we are all close again and guess what ringy dingy tom calls and wants out again and here I come to the rescue. Yep, stupid me.  

I end up stupidly taking him in where I could potentially get kicked out of because a felon cannot be there because I’m still so in love with him, but still want my son around his dad for some awful reason. We start off great again but once a fool always a fool and I go to my doctor appointment for my back and get this medicine you have to put on that has liquid that goes into your system well somehow, he opens it and drinks it I found out later on and if I wouldn’t have called the ambulance in time, he would be dead instead of having a minor heart attack. Well, that got me cut off of my medicine and got me really upset with Tom and told him he going to have to go to his mom’s because I need my medicine and he can’t stay with me and I be allowed to have my medicine. He wasn’t too happy, but oh well.  

Well, while he was in the hospital my mom and I got a place together because in between all this my stepdad that I called my dad had passed and we supported each other through it. My mom and I had moved to different places staying away from drama throughout exes and trouble, but it seems to still come no matter what. 

So here I am raising my son still on my own and he’s still in prison needing bailed out because his bail is 5,000 because he is still not learning from all this still getting all hyped up on crack throughout all these years and all my son says is I wish he would just get better so he would want to come play with me. It kills me to hear that, but I know he doesn’t even know the half of it!