What a waitress hears

I’m a waitress. The job every little girl wishes to one day have. Rude customers, long shifts and impossible bosses. I know. I’m living the dream. But I wouldn’t be my father’s daughter if I didn’t see the pros next to the overwhelming amount of cons. One of the biggest and the reason I haven’t quite yet (next to the obvious threat of becoming one of the unemployed) is getting to hear every customer's personal story, with or without consent. Let me show you how my day usually goes.

I woke at 5 am, it was a bit early, but not enough for me to allow myself to go back to bed. I got dressed and got in my car. It wasn’t my car, rather my parents', but they gave it to me as a farewell present. Or at least that’s what I say to strangers. It’s easier than explaining the whole fiasco that went down at home that made me run away and steal the vehicle. They never came after me, guess they got the memo and knew I wanted out.

By 6 am, I’m at the diner with my co-workers. It’s a small, retro-style roadside diner. It’s mostly white, with big windows and some red leather seats, the chessboard tiles and the jukebox. Who could forget the jukebox? My arch-nemesis. It’s a long and vile story that I’d rather not relive. Boss arrives at around 6.30 or 7, depends on his schedule with his whore. I’m sorry, his “financial adviser”. As if! I sometimes wonder how his wife believes all the carp he says, I only hear half of it and I’m ready to throw a chair at him, even though we aren’t even married. We have a meeting, where Max talks a lot and the boss pretends to listen, I mostly nap in the back. After that is when the fun begins…

“Mom! Why here, I hate stopping at these places, they have the worst food! It’s oily and disgusting!” I plaster a smile onto my face, hoping the kid is more like his absent dad than his mother.

“Good morning, welcome to our lovely diner, what can I get you?” The mother looks up, the twelve-year-old boy shuts up and plays with his toy.

“Hello there!” She continues to slowly dictate their order, with the politeness that’s a rarity in here. I leave, but not before I hear the child start up again about our culinary skills.

“Come on, babe! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of it! It was a joke. You joke about my friends all the time.” Oh, music to my ears, I hope we’ll get a slap as well. These dramas are what make my day bearable. It’s like watching a really crappy movie in real life.

“Oh really? When did I ever say I yearn for-!” The guy slapped his hands on her mouth before she could finish, it took me a great deal of effort to not complain. I really wanted to know what this guy yearned for.

“We’re in public!”

“So you’re not even going to deny that you said that?! To my mom!” To her what?! Oh my god, this is better than TV!

“I was drunk, it was stupid, okay?! I’m sorry, nothing happened.”

“Nothing? You fucking kissed her!” Woah!

“No, I didn’t!”

“So this isn’t you?” She held up her phone. There was probably proof on it, cause the guy turned red in a millisecond. “I’m done with you! I don’t want to see you ever again! You understand?! Get out!”

“But, babe-”

“Don’t call me that!”

“How will you get home?”

“I’ll figure it out! I’d rather hitchhike with a serial killer than be in the same car as you!” Oof, that’s harsh! At least the guy got it, he left. I let the girl cool down a bit, before going to her.

“Hi, can I get you something?”

“Ugh… normal man.” She moaned sliding down the seat, holding her head.

“Ahh, I can’t help with that one, I don’t do men.”

“Smart.” She sat up properly and looked at me. “You look cute. I like your hair.” She didn’t look bad herself. Long blonde hair, tied into a messy bun, skinny jeans and a tank top, with a lot of cleavage. It looked good on her.

“Uhm, thanks.” I glanced down at my notepad to indicate why I’m here.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll just take a water, thanks.”

“Do I have to?”

“Do you not like your dad?”

“Mom. We both know this isn’t me visiting him, it’s you sending me away.”

“Can I get your orders?”

“We’re still thinking, sorry. Are you from around here?”

“Yes, I live in the city right off the highway.”

“Could you please tell my son that it isn’t so bad here?”

“Oh, is it your first time here?”

“Yes…My dad moved here a year ago and now we’re visiting.”

“It’s quite a nice place, your dad chose well. I really enjoy the riverside, maybe you could visit it. It’s very calming to sit alone and just listen to the sounds of nature.”

“Thanks, but I doubt my dad will let me anywhere alone, I might end up in a gay bar again, right mom?”

“Honey!” His mom chastised him, she looked incredibly embarrassed. The tension was getting thicker and thicker.

“I’ll give you some time to figure out your order,” I said leaving as fast as I could. Later my co-workers played a game of who could put the story together. That is until we saw the news. That teenager got caught doing some nasty stuff with a powerful man, I didn’t know what he did, but by the scandal, it became in the following days, I guessed he was important.

There were many boring people as well, who only discussed the usual topics: politics, family and school. I still enjoyed those, guessing who is who just by their names was a game I often played, but after the MILF and the conservative parent they just didn’t do it for me. At the end of the day, I felt exhausted, I checked my phone to see my step count: 8 km, with that I decided to skip my evening run and started cleaning the tables.

“Hey, you done?”

“You’re still here?” I asked the blondie.

“I was waiting for you.”

“Uhm, why?”

“You don’t have a girlfriend, do you?” What does she want to do? Should I tell her the truth? What if she’s only asking to see if anyone would miss me if she killed me or kidnapped me?

“No, why?”

“I was thinking…”