But She Doesn't

"Another of the same?" The bartender asks, setting down another whisky with two lime wedges squirted into it onto the counter. You know when the bartender at your ex-girlfriend's wedding knows your drink order you've probably had enough to drink. But it's sitting right there, and it's free. Compliments of her new inlaws' bottomless wallet.

"Thanks," I mumble and take the glass with me. I've circled the dance floor about twelve times now. I've watched Bianca dance with just about every man in the room and she doesn't even look tired. I guess it must be true that happiness makes people beautiful, and makes them glow. Because I've never seen her look better, and I've never looked worse. I'm not sure exactly why I came. When I received the thick cardstock invitation, it sat unopened on my counter for weeks before I had the guts to open it.

It's not as if I was shocked by the announcement. Bianca had been seeing Josh for at least five years. And I knew she'd always wanted to get married before she turned thirty-five.

I thought, maybe the best way to get over her was to watch her exchange vows and rings with the man she loved. Turns out I only managed to make myself even more miserable.

I sip from my glass, but the ice has melted into the alcohol, giving it a watered-down, cheap taste. I set it down on one of the chest-height round tables. It's got a silly little sign on it-- Josh Benowitz and Bianca Jackson celebrating together on September 3, 2024. As if you didn't know who's wedding you'd come to, or the date. A basket of flowers sits next to the sign. They're real flowers, can't tell what kind. I never was one for flowers. Bianca loves them.

I watch Bianca finally make her way to the bar on the arm of her new husband. Her gigantic white wedding gown has been replaced by a much more simple, more her, short yellow dress. It's perfect for dancing. She's laughing at something Josh has said and suddenly the watered-down whisky doesn't sound so bad.

I haven't said a word to Bianca all day. I haven't said much of anything to anyone. Half the guests I don't know and the other half I haven't seen in so long, I might as well not know them either.

I'm seriously considering how rude it would be to just leave. I mean would anyone even notice me. The only thing I'm waiting for is for Bianca to acknowledge me, and it's clear that's not going to happen. So, why not?

"Josh is a lucky man." I turn to see someone I haven't seen in a very long time. Once, he would've been my best friend. But that was back in elementary school. He looks the same, just sharper.

"Adam," I say, shocked. I'm overcome by the strange confusion on whether to hug him or just act as if we'd been friends all this time.

"Daisy." I blush at the old nickname.

"It's just Meg now," I say, looking back at Bianca. Adam nods in my periphery.

"It's been a long time." He says after a moment. He looks away from the couple to look at me. "You look nice." I almost call him out on his outright lie. I know what I look like, what I've looked like for years. I just keep looking at Bianca. She's got a Margarita, her celebration drink.

"You know Josh?" Adam asks me, sipping from his own glass. I shrug. "Bianca?" My ears heat up, and I shrug again.

We're quiet for a moment, I'm still debating my escape plan.

"Daisy... er Meg. How have you been? It's been a long time." He repeats. I meet his eyes.

"Yeah," I say. "It has." There's part of me that wants to hug him tight and talk to him all night, and the rest of me is scared things can't be as easy as they used to be.

"C'mon." He says, setting his glass down. "Tell me something about yourself. It's been, what? Ten years?" I snort.

"At least." He gives me a look. "Fine. I'm trying to write a book, this is my fifth drink, and I'm heartbroken." He smiles at me, and just like that it's like we're back in elementary school. We'd tell each other three truths we had on our minds at that moment.

"You have to let me read your book."

"I said I was trying to write a book." He shrugs.

"Still. You know I've liked your writing."

"Ok. Your turn." I reach over to take a sip of his drink. Its Coke.

"I don't know anyone here, I've missed you so much, and my brother is engaged." I feel weirdly embarrassed to hear the last truth. I never thought about Mason getting married. I hadn't seen him for longer than I hadn't seen Adam. He'd disappeared on me after claiming he loved me like a sister and we'd always have each other and pursued waterpolo with everything he had. Maybe it was because I'd had an incontrollable crush on him for five years, but either way, I decided to ignore the third truth.

"I've missed you too," I say. "And you do know someone here. I'm here." He shrugs.

"I wasn't sure I did know you. I watched you get five drinks and do nothing but stare around, moping this whole time." I look away, slightly offended.

"I told you," I say, matter-of-factly. "I'm heartbroken."

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that about Josh when I came over here." I think hard, trying to remember what he said when he walked over to me. When I do, I realize what he thought I meant.

"No, you were right. He is a lucky man." I can't look him in the face, so I search the crowd of wedding guests for Bianca again. She's on the dance floor again, surrounded this time by her bridesmaids. I only recognize her sister.

"Can we do a question session?" Adam asks. Question Session was something I made up to pass the time in class with Mason. Each person could ask one question per day and get an honest answer.

"Fine."

"Will you go first?"

"Fine," I say again. "Who's the last person you were in love with." He thinks for a moment, finishes his Coke, and sets the glass down.

"Some girl I met at a game, brought her to the changing rooms, got her court-side seats." He's looking at me, I can tell he wants me to look at him. I don't.

"Same question for you." He says. He lifts his glass as if he needs to do something, and sets it down again when he remembers it's empty.

"I'm still in love with them... with her." I reach for my glass too, just to hold something. I can see him thinking while he looks at me. Then he follows my gaze. I'm still watching Bianca as she thanks everyone she turns to for coming, Josh stands at her shoulder smiling like an idiot.

"You love Bianca, don't you?" I smile a little and I wish I had another whisky.

"I do."