5 comments

General

Their eyes fell over me. It was like they were staring deep into my soul. They either looked at me with disgust or looks of death.  I could barely see their faces. It was midnight, and everyone besides me were all wearing all black. They were all wearing black cloaks as well, some with hoods-up, others hoods down. I knew I was unwelcome with them. I gazed desperately around them looking for a friendly face or friendly pair of eyes. As I looked around I saw a boy looking away, down at his feet. His hood was down, he had extremely pale skin and his hair was all platinum blonde except the tips which were black. He was clearly uncomfortable about something, his hands were trembling at his sides. All of a sudden, the people cleared a pathway. At the end was a chair up on a platform with a figure sitting on it. The figure’s legs were crossed and their head rested on a hand. They looked like a bored king on their throne. I heard a faint sigh. The person got up and walked slowly down to me, as he walked down someone came behind him, it was the boy who was uncomfortable. As the figure got closer I realized who it was. Peter Thorne, the leader of this group, The Fallen Ravens. “Faor, my dear. Congrats on being the,” Peter hesitated, “Chosen one…” Peter reached his hand out to shake mine. I shook it. “Alistar!” Peter barked at the boy behind him. The boy stuttered out “Ye....yes...yes?” Peter let out a sigh. “The suitcase, Alistar.” Peter sighed. Alistar nodded, and handed me a black briefcase. Alistar smiled at me faintly as he handed the briefcase to me. “It has the uniform and essentials in it.” Peter said reluctantly. “Alistar, William, and Sara will show you your room and whatnot.” Peter spoke boredly and waved his hand ushering people to come, 2 hooded figures walked toward me. Peter pointed to the one on the right, “That’s Sara and the other one is William. Have fun, children.” Peter said as he walked off. I heard Sara sigh quietly. “Come on, pips,” William said, walking into the surrounding woods with Sara next to him. I stood there for a moment before Alistar whispered, “He is...talking to y...you.” I jumped and quickly followed after Sara and William, Alistar followed behind me. We walked for what seemed for hours before approaching a group of pine trees. The three senior members looked at each other and nodded and dispersed around the pines. William grabbed me by the shoulders and dragged me to the middle of the circle of pines and said “Stand here.” Before leaving out of the circle. I heard them calling out to each other but not sure what they were saying. All of the sudden, Sara and William were at either side of me and each grabbed an arm. “What-” I began to ask before being cut off by William. “Ready!” he yelled. The floor opened up below us, we started to fall. There was a figure above us, I assumed it to be Alistar. The ground closed again and we were in complete darkness. Then we stopped midair before being gently set onto the ground. It was cold, hard concrete. William and Sara put down their hoods. Sara has dark skin, almost pitch black and emerald green eyes, her hair was almost all shaved off. William had olive skin and long brown hair, the tips bleached, going down to his shoulders. His eyes were a dull blue. I looked back at Alistar, he looked whiter down here, and I noticed he has hazel eyes and a few freckles. “Keep up pips.” We walked down the hall. Concrete floor and walls, bright lights illuminated the hall, it smelled strongly of coffee down here. We reached the end of the hall, we walked into one large room with one door on the back wall. “Door leads to the bathroom.” Sara said sharply. I looked around it and found one large open room, an oven , refrigerator, and counters on the wall with the door. On the left wall there were two bunk beds. On the bottom bunk of one was my suitcase I had brought with me. “Me and Sara are in this bunk, she’s top bunk, I’m bottom,” William said pointing to the bunk next to mine. “Alistar is top but you could, how do I say this.... convince him to take the bottom.” he said with a chuckle. Something is off, this dude was just giving me a death stare, now he is joking around with me? Something is wrong. Maybe it is just part of the initiation or something “Alistar, I forgot to grab the new bag of coffee, be a lamb and go get for me.” Sara said. Alistar nodded and went back down the hall. The mood changed suddenly. Sara and William looked over me, glaring again. They approached me slowly “Look, just cause you were ‘chosen’ to be the new member of this group. Doesn’t mean anyone is gonna suddenly love you or accept you as one of us. From what we have observed of you, you don’t seem like one of us at all. Now, Alistar is soft. He will serve you and be nice and all that crap but it is just him. None of us will show you any slack. Do your part and maybe, just maybe eventually you'll be accepted as one of us.” Sara said, smirking. Alistar walked in. “Insubordination.” Alistar said with a stone cold expression. They jumped. “Were you not commanded to be welcoming to our new member?” He said coldly. William and Sara looked at the ground. “Is demotion in order?” Alistar asked. “No, sir.” they said in unison. “That is what I thought. Remember, children, I am always watching.” Alistar replied with a smirk. Sara and William shrank back into their beds. Sara pulled out a switch blade and fiddled with it and William grabbed a book with no title and started to read it. I stood there aghast, staring at Alistar. Was this really the same boy who was trembling and stuttering? It couldn’t be. “You are thinking is this really the same person as that poor stuttering child. To answer you, it is. I am the same, I just get nervous in a crowd.” Alistar explained to me, as though he read my mind. “And if you do want the top bunk you may have it, for I will only spend a single night here before returning to the leaders’ chamber.” Alistar remarked to me. “Oh okay,” I said, still confused and shocked by what I just witnessed. “Unpack, Faor,” Alistar commanded, “Then go take your briefcase and change in the bathroom, once you do your real initiation will begin.”

August 22, 2020 03:56

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

5 comments

Keerththan 😀
05:32 Sep 08, 2020

Wow!!!! That was very creative. You have a wonderful imagination. I also like the names you kept to the characters. Keep writing. Waiting for more of yours... Would you mind reading my new story and share your views on it?

Reply

Show 0 replies
12:11 Sep 03, 2020

I appreciate the opportunity to read your story. You have a deep imagination and I felt like I was transported to the setting you were describing! As the daughter of an English teach (lol) I wanted to clarify - I think this would benefit from paragraphs, making it easier to read the dialogue. Unless it was it a formatting issue? Also, do you mean they or one person him/her? I loved the ending which left me wanting to know more!

Reply

Jasper Hutchings
01:07 Sep 04, 2020

Thank you. When I am talking about the figure on the throne I mean one person, at the start I'm talking about multiple. I keep meaning to add paragraphs but sometimes it resets the formats when I paste it into Reedsy.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Naomi Irwin
17:38 Aug 22, 2020

Wow! Cool story! The mystery you added to the plot and setting was really cool. I loved it! Is there going to be a follow up?

Reply

Jasper Hutchings
17:52 Aug 22, 2020

Maybe :P If the right prompt comes around

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.