It still depends…

Today’s the day I change huh. After months… years… to be precise, a decade of contemplation. I laid there, as motionless as I could be, trying not to be spotted by the crowd that bustled past. Albeit, chances are, that someone had already suspected that something was amiss beneath the oddly stacked pile of fallen leaves in the white box that hosted one of the many trees acting as an intersection between toilets and coffee shops.

But, they ran on time.

Time that they weren’t willing to waste on minor details that didn’t concern them.

Machines, making their presence known, by having the overpriced tickets they’d purchased outside the great golden gate, perforated, so that they could buy the same ice cream that could be gotten anywhere else besides the kiosk littered mall, for higher prices, during a set amount of time.

I have to admit, with such intricate patterns splayed about, golden curves and indentations branching out from the base of each chandelier that spotted the ceiling, stopping right before each mirror that made the walls of the capacious building, and starting up again on the ebony marble tiles, The Z was undeniably, a beaut.

‘It was fall in the late 2000’s, and she was the place to be!’ -tabloids read. Pfft- we were really just reliving history with technology advanced vintage looking products.

Of course, there still sat fake trees potted between each of those huge blinding bulbs hung above us. Arranged with such precision that they all had the same strangely twisted leaf facing the same direction.

Such attention to detail. Aromatics too, playing their part, as they seeped past the frames of closed doors of prestigious perfume brand stores, and tickled ones nose, and then try their best to tickle their wallet stuffed pockets.

I still didn’t think that this place was worth visiting.

Was it because my pockets didn’t tingle? I’d really just chosen to leave my wallet at home though.

Hm…

I guess this is why I needed to change.

And today coul- would be the day.

This mindset won’t be getting me anywhere- I was told. But I’m entitled to my own ideologies, am I not…?

Peeking through the tiny hole that I’d created between the leaves, I caught a glimpse of the queue that’d formed in front of Emi’s cart.

Maybe having thoughts of my own really wasn’t for the best after all. It’d put me in a different category. If I wanted to fit into the crowd, I needed to think like them, and there’s no way that a queue could’ve be that straight without them all being on the same wavelength. They were probably telekinetic. Moving anyone they saw shuffling out of the line back in quickly. Or maybe that was Emi.

My eyes wandered over to her. Over her gloved fingers, gracefully flipping chocolate covered crepes onto jam coated ones and shoving them into white triangular parchment cases. She’d always been a stickler for organization... and cold fingers. She liked her fingers feeling like ice. So, her practically standing two centimeters away from a huge heater was most definitely one of the many reasons as to why I believed that she secretly disliked this job.

“How’re you doing down there leaf boy?” She’d asked.

”I like how potential passerby’s will see you and automatically think ‘Ah! she’s crazy and talks to her crepes.’ But I’m fine, thanks for asking.” I retorted.

“Pfft- Shut up! No ones even here.”

Peeking through the leaves again, I realized that the mall had become noticeably emptier than it had been a few minutes prior. Almost eerie so… the dark theme truly bringing forth the kind of ambience that the students on the second to forth floor desired.

It had gotten quite dark though…Ah- I might’ve slept off for quite a bit.

Well, that was to be expected in the middle of October, past 5pm, in-

“Hey, it’s time for me to leave. My shifts over.”

“Emi, please! Could you just leave me to my thoughts. I’m trying to metamorphose into a better me and silence is needed for that.”

“And you chose to escort me to the busiest mall in the district for your metamorphosis?”

“No wrong choices were made. It was all meant to begin here.”

“I shall trust the process, but I’d really rather you didn’t undergo any morphological changes beneath those leaves. Come on!”

Through that little hole, I could see her, bent over, arm stretched. The left of course. I’d broken the right.

“I bet you smell like leaves now.”

“Of course your dog-like nose would spot that out. Wait… these are real?” I questioned, stunned.

Getting off my back and picking one of the browner leaves up, I gave it a quick whiff. Unfortunately, this resulted in the breaking of my autumn themed sheath.

“Ironic isn’t it.”

“So they plant fake trees, but gather up real leaves?”

“It’s all for the atmosphere.”

“I…don’t get it…”

A chuckle was all I got as a response. “Soon enough Seidel, now come ooon! My crepes are getting cold.”

I sighed, feeling a sting caused by the cast that encased my left leg. Now, she did that. A tit for tat kind of thing. We honestly played too much, but we readily faced the consequences head on. I don’t know what we expected from trying to ride a faulty old tractor up a bumpy hill. But there we were, with one less functioning limb for each of us.

She helped me get up, holding tightly onto the arm she’d slung over her shoulder after I let her know that I’d chosen to leave my crutches at home.

…she was nice like that. And that’s why I needed to change. She was striving to be the best version of herself. She’d been trying her best too. I’d have liked to have already begun to be the best me there could be, but I hadn’t. At least not yet. And so somewhere down the concourse, I’d decided that it was about time I began.

“Hey Emi…” I had all but whispered.

“Seidel?”

“I see that you’re finally done.” An all too familiar voice boomed a distance away from us.

And with that, our strides came to a halt. I turned to Emi who’s feet seemed to be planted to the spot she stood on, eyes wide and unsteady as they flickered around looking for the source of the voice. “C-Cas? Is that you?… Cas!?”

“Emi…” and her eyes were back on me. Still wide. Was I making the right decision?

Slow footsteps inched closer, and closer, until long legs made their way before us. A olive skinned male easily reaching the six foot mark adorned fully in black with bright red hair stood stoic in front of us, just before breaking into a huge grin.

My eyes once again trailed back to her. The grip she’d had on my arm had tightened considerably. Her expression though, was… indecipherable.

“Seidel… May. Hope you’ve both been well.”

There was no going back. And with a sigh, I began. “Emi, there’s something I need to tell you…”