Choices

Choices; the building blocks of life. Every choice one makes, no matter how big, no matter how small, can have huge consequences down the road. For example, right now, I have a made a choice. After years of vacillating, I will ask my girl to marry me. Today, I will ask her, after we have her favorite meal at The Bar. I will have to tell my best friend John as well, later over cocktails and we will all celebrate. But first the girl. And I have made another choice; I will take the car. I do some of my best thinking while driving.

 I turn the radio on as I head out of the driveway. I choose a nice classic rock station as it suits my mood and Mary, my girl, enjoys classic Jazz. John, my other best friend, loves classical music but they both have the word classic in it, so this is a nice compromise.

It is a beautiful day for a drive I think as I approach the first intersection. Should I go straight there and arrive early – or take the long way and think about what I have been pondering for years now?

Left or right, forward or back . . .

Should I stay or should I go now? The radio chooses this song at this moment.

Forward or back . . .

HEY! MORON, HOUSTON SAID IT WAS OK SO MOVE IT!

This was accompanied by the screaming of his horn. How was I supposed to think? Left or right? Get there fast or take it slow?

I SCREWED YOUR MOTHER FASTER THAN THAT. MOVE IT!!

Left . . .

HOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKKK

. . . or right

Just then I heard a tapping upon my window. The young women from two cars back was smiling though the tinted glass. It seemed as if I should roll the window down but fortunately it was not necessary to do this. Her voice, although pleasant, was loud enough to hear through the glass.

“You see that little arrow up there.” She indicated the green signal arrow on the traffic light pointing to the left. “It is green and blinking. That means that you are in the turning lane and you can turn left. Could you please do that now?”

Ahhh yes, clear instructions. I had no choice here I must turn left. I nodded my thanks to the young lady and she returned to her vehicle.

I began to proceed as the light turned yellow. Should I stay or should I go now, asked The Clash.

MOVE YOUR FRUCKEN CAR BEFORE I RAM YOUR ASS WITH YOUR FATHERS DICK YOU FRICKEN DICKWAD. And again, the accompanying horn blast, loud and long. The light turned red. I stomped on the gas as did he and the truck whose path we were crossing. It was not a big truck as big trucks go but just a small five-ton vehicle that chose to run through a red light. I cleared the intersection but the gentleman behind me did not. I heard the smash of steel and glass as the truck met the car. Someone’s horn was stuck on.

Since I had chosen to turn left it was not a long drive to the bar where I was to first meet Mary for dinner and then later John for cocktails. As I approached the bar but still about a block away, I spotted a parking spot. Great, I thought, I won’t have to circle for an hour looking for a spot. but then I thought what if there is a spot closer. I won’t know unless I go look but if I go look, I will lose this spot.

Should I stay or should I go now. I have that song stuck in my head now. How can one decide without perfect information? Hmmmm

HOOOONNNKKKKK HONK HONK

DO YOU NEED AN ENGRAVED INVITATION? PARK OR FLY.

Yes, I thought. Engraved invitations to the wedding would be a great choice. I think. Maybe. Definitely food for thought.

HOOONKKKKKKK

I eased into the parking spot as the young woman in the car behind me roared passed. She leaned over to the passenger side to call me a copulating donkey – well not her exact words but close enough. The act took her eyes off the road just long enough to not notice the car – that was parked right in front of The Bar – to pull out in front of her.

Dammit, I thought. If I had just waited another moment, I could have had that spot.

Well, what was done is done. I walked to The Bar. Once inside I found Mary easily enough. I was surprised by two things: one she was early and two she was at the bar. She rarely did either of these things. She handed me a drink. I slurped deeply.

“We need to talk,” she said.

“About what”, I replied slurping again.

“About us,” But this was said in a much deeper voice, a man’s voice – Johns voice. He had been lurking in the shadows. He placed a hand on my shoulder. I finished my drink. I held the ‘wait a moment’ finger up for John and the ‘give me another’ finger up for the bartender.

“About all of us”, said Mary.

Where was that bartender? John sat beside Mary. I stood before both like the accused before his jury.

“I know about you and Mary.”

“And I know about you and John.”

“And I knew about all three of you,” said the bartender handing me my drink. “Really you are not very good at this. You could at least have chosen a different bar for your dalliances.”

“You knew,” I said to Mary.

“Yes, I knew.”

“And you knew,” I said to the bartender.

“We all knew,” they all said at once. “You said you loved us.”

“Even me,” said the bartender. “Although you were drunk, and I was putting you in a cab. You also told the Cabbie, the waitress, the cook – after you complimented him on his chicken and to the guy in the bathroom.”

“We were angry, at first,” said Mary “but after we talked – john and I – “

“And me,” said the bartender. “My name is Bob. I think you should know that, but you never asked. The waitress’ name is Suzan, and the guy in the bathroom said his name was Rob. He left his phone number.”

“But mostly John and I talked. We are not angry. We get you and we love you, but we think you need to make some changes, some decisions.”

“Aha,” I said without thought. “I have decided”. I thrust the ring before them.

They all looked back at me bewildered. “Who are you giving that too,” said Mary.

I took another long slurp of my drink. I was already feeling its influence. I looked to Mary and to John. I loved them both but to pick one would hurt the other.

“Uhm -,” I said.

“Uhm,” said Mary. “Uhm!?”

“IIIII – Uhh –“

“Uhhhh?“ said John. “Come on Mary, I know a great place. “

“Goodbye, Tammy,” said Mary touching my forearm gently.

And they left. Together. Without me. And now I was alone.

“Hey, How YOU doing?” I looked up to see a good-looking tall dude walk into the bar. He had the biggest smile. “Rob,” he said indicating himself. “We met last week.”

“In the bathroom,” said the bartender.

“Oh yes of course.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Sure, why not. Make it a double.”

The waitress brought us out drinks. She spilled Robs drink causing him to jump up and wipe himself. While wiping the table she whispered to me and slipped me a note. “He’s a pig. Ditch him and call me.” The note had her phone number.

“Come on, let’s go find a place with better service.”

We headed for the door but not before I grabbed Suzie’s ass and tucked her note into my pocket.

The problem with choosing is that it closes so many options, so many opportunities get missed and I have SOOO much life to live. I can always choose later. Right?