Please Help, I've Lost My Friend

                      Please Help, I’ve Lost My Friend

I raced into the elevator tapping fingers as we went down to the first floor. I rushed into daycare saying hello to everyone on the way in and on the way out. I gripped my boy’s hand as we ran through the parking garage trying to beat as many drivers as we could.

My briefcase and pocketbook slid back and forth on the passenger seat as I drove up the ramp while winding the driver’s window down to pay the ticket. Damn weather.

The windshield wipers threatened to fly off into pouring rain as the car swerved slightly to avoid puddles on the side streets approaching the toll road.  It was a November Friday night in New England. The weather was horrible, and the traffic was worse. My five-year-old year old in the back seat sang merrily along with “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” on the radio.

My elderly mother lived 30 minutes up the pike and another 20 off the exit. I had called her before leaving the office. I worried about her constantly now that dementia had set in with seriousness.

The drive was a nightmare. Delays, jams, aggravation, stupidity. Make sure not to swear in front of my innocent child.

Finally, we arrive. I get soaked trying to get the boy out of his car seat and the umbrella over his head while maneuvering in heels up the rain-soaked path. The outside light was on, thank God. Mom remembered. She was at the door with a welcoming smile.

“Oh, my sweet girl, you’re soaked! Come in. How is my baby boy? Aww, he’s wet too.”

“Yes mum, it’s a mess out there.”

“You shouldn’t have come; you should have come another night.”

“No, I had to come tonight, to make sure you ate.”

“Oh, I’m not too hungry.”

“That’s what I mean mum, you have to eat.”

“Here, take off your coat and sit with me. How’s work?”

“The same, busy. Irritating. I wish I could quit, but I can’t”

“And how is my favorite grandson? I love you and miss you! Do you want to move in here with grammie?”

Evan smiled and threw his arms around his grandmother’s neck.

“Mum, let me get you something to eat. We can’t stay long, it’s a long drive home and I’m tired.”

“Oh, I don’t want anything to eat. I’m not hungry. How was work today?”

“It was fine mum, how was your day?”

I opened the refrigerator door to search for something quick and healthy. I found the makings of a salad and took out the roasted chicken to slice. She had some strawberry Ensure on the top shelf and a small chocolate pudding off to the side.

While I sliced the vegetables and heated the chicken she talked to Evan and enjoyed the visit.

While I cleaned up the kitchen and washed the dishes, she began to tell me about her new friend.

“I had a new friend visit me today. She’s been here a few times, so we are getting to know each other pretty well. We have a lot in common. Her parents come from Sweden too, and she loves jewelry. She’s very nice. I know you’ll like her.”

“Where does she live mum, near here?”

“I’m not sure, I think so. She said she liked my dress and my pearls. She’s really so very nice.”

“That’s great. I’d love to meet her sometime. I’m so happy you’ve found a friend to keep you company.”

We hugged and said good night. I left feeling guilty that she was alone. No matter how much I did, no matter how many times I came to visit, it was never enough. Always the guilt and the sadness.

During the visits to follow she elaborated on her new friend to such a degree that I asked mum to ask her to stay awhile so I could meet her. Mum agreed and the meeting was set for the following Tuesday night.

Evan and I did our usual rush out after work and arrived with time enough to meet the friend and prepare dinner for the two of them. I was actually looking forward to a pleasant evening.

When I arrived, my mother came to the door crying.

“Oh no, what has happened? Are you okay? What’s wrong?"

“We had a fight. She said she really didn’t like me and found me to be boring. She said all my jewelry was cheap and old and I should throw it out with the trash.”

“Oh, that can’t be, you two got along so well. You had great times together visiting. I was so looking forward to meeting her." 

"I don’t know what happened to her. One minute we were laughing and talking like best friends and then suddenly, without warning, she changed and started being so mean to me."

“Did you say something to her? Did you say anything that would have upset her?”

“No, I don’t think so. No, of course, I didn’t. I liked her company. She came every day and spent time with me. She was my friend.”

“All right, don’t cry, we can fix this. Maybe we can call her, do you know her number, did she leave it with you?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

“So, you have no way to get in touch with her?”

“No.”

“And you don’t know her address, or where she lives?”

“No.”

“Oh, mum, I don’t know what to do.”

When I was a young girl, my mother always knew how to fix everything. I felt like a failure. I didn’t know how to help her.

“We don’t need her address, she’s still here. You can talk to her yourself.”

“She’s here? Where?”

“She’s in the bedroom. I told her she had to wait for you and I wasn’t going to let her out until you came.”

“Oh, mum, you shouldn’t have done that. I’ll go in and tell her she can go home now. This whole thing was just a huge misunderstanding.”

I rushed into the bedroom and looked quickly around to find no one. 

“Mum” I called out. Where is she?”

Mum came in and stood behind me in front of her dresser mirror.

“She’s right there, right in front of you. Can’t you see her?”

“My mother waved and the image in the mirror waved back.”